


United

by GreenGoofmon



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:47:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 58,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22724914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenGoofmon/pseuds/GreenGoofmon
Summary: Meet princess Christen Press, who is supposed to marry the prince of the Portland kingdom in a few weeks to finally align their kingdoms. Portland sent out their best guard, Tobin Heath, to protect and guide the princess and her small delegation on the journey to the kingdom's castle.
Relationships: Tobin Heath/Christen Press
Comments: 272
Kudos: 737





	1. Chapter 1

Christen looked out of the window. The sunset was beautiful, but she couldn't enjoy it. It was the last one she'd see before leaving her kingdom behind. 

Her stomach churned, thinking about the man she had to marry in a few weeks. A man, whom she had never met before. A knock on the door pulled her out of her thoughts. She sighed.  
"Come in."

The queen entered the room. She looked at her eldest daughter with concern.   
"Are you okay, sweetie? We've missed you at dinner," she asked softly.  
She couldn't speak. The lump in her throat felt too tight. 

_Get a grip! You knew this day was coming!_

Christen has been promised to the prince of Portland since she was born. And now that she was 18, the inevitable was going to happen.   
Slowly she nodded and cleared her throat.

"I'm fine, mom. I just...wanted to...to pack some things for tomorrow."

"You haven't packed yet? I'm going to send Ali in to help you. The guard from Portland arrived a few hours ago and she wants to leave early, which you would've known, if you had joined us for dinner." 

_She? Portland sent a female guard?_

"I'm sorry, mother." Christen forced a smile. "I promise, I'll be ready." 

"Good. Don't stay up too late. The journey is going to be rough. I wish, your father and I could accompany you."

"Is dad still not feeling better?" Christen asked worriedly. 

The king hasn't been feeling well for a while now and wasn't able to make the trip. They decided that Christen would travel to Portland castle and help with the wedding preparations and once King Press felt better, the rest of the royal family would join them, hopefully in time for her wedding. 

"I'm afraid he isn't. Good night, Christen."   
The queen squeezed her shoulders once and turned to leave.

"N-night, mom" her voice cracked. The queen stopped at the door, looking back to her daughter. For a moment, Christen was sure that she wanted to say something, but she seemed to decide against it and left the room. 

The silence was deafening. Christen sank to the bed and finally allowed herself to cry.   
Cry for a lost home. Cry for her independence. Sobbing into her pillow, she didn't hear Ali, her lady's maid, coming into her bedroom.

"Chris!" Ali strode to the bed and pulled her into her arms. She and the princess grew up together and have been close for years. Her heart ached for her friend. 

"It's going to be okay. You're not alone." Ali said soothingly and rubbed her back. 

"I'm s-so sorry y-you're dragged into this as well!"

Like Christen, Ali didn't really have a choice on the matter. As the lady's maid, she'd have to go wherever Christen was going. 

"Chris, I don't mind. You're my best friend. Let's just try and make the best out of this situation. The queen asked me to help you pack. Come on," she said and smiled encouragingly. 

"Yeah, okay. Thank you, Ali." Grateful Christen hugged her one last time and let go to gather her belongings.

"Anytime. Who knows. You might even like him, once you meet. I've heard that all the women in Portland are fawning over him."

Christen rolled her eyes. It wasn't the appropriate behavior for a princess, but around Ali she never tried to put up an act. 

"Yeah, because he is rich and his wife is going to be queen someday. They can have him, for all I care." 

She couldn't keep the bitterness out of her voice.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos and the comments! It means the world and encourages me to write more of this :)

**Kingdom of Portland, two weeks ago**

"You wanted to see me, your majesty?" Tobin asked, bowing before kneeling down on her right leg.

"You may stand up now, Heath!" the king said authoritatively and ordered the other guards to leave the room. 

_Seems to be a private matter._

"You're probably wondering why you're here," the king began and started to pace around the hall. 

Tobin nodded and waited, hands folded behind her back, for him to continue. 

"As you know, Henry is marrying princess Christen of Los Angeles in seven weeks. We were expecting the Press family to come here early and help with the wedding and conclude the contract between our kingdoms." 

King Harris waved his hands around in annoyance.  
"King Cody got sick unexpectedly and won't be able to make the trip here anytime soon. We have to proceed, our kingdom's peace and stability is at stake!" 

He stopped directly in front of Tobin, who still looked at him expectantly.  
"I need someone to escort the princess here. Someone I can trust."

Tobin's eyebrows shot up. "You want _me_ to escort the princess?" 

"Yes. Henry and I agreed that you'd be the best person for this job. You're one of the most capable guards of this kingdom and we trust you unconditionally. I want you to leave tonight."

He looked at her, worry evident on his face.

"Try not to draw attention, Tobin. With the riots in the south and the social instability of Los Angeles it's best if you remain incognito." 

"Thank you for your trust. I promise, I won't let you down!" Tobin said determined. 

"I know you won't," said the king and dismissed her.

***  
Mentally already making a list of things she'd need for the trip to LA castle, Tobin walked through the deserted hallways. 

Seeing the king being so openly worried had just confirmed her own suspicions about the imminent civil war. As a royal guard she didn't leave the grounds often, but the tension in the kingdom was definitely palpable. 

"Tobs!"

Prince Henry appeared in front of her. Hair wet from the rain, he held a bow in his hand and grinned . "I'm getting better. I'm going to beat you soon."

"You wish," Tobin laughed and gave him a playful shove. 

Henry's demeanor suddenly changed. He seemed nervous. "Has dad talked to you yet?"

"Mhm, he did. Thank you for trusting me with your betrothed."

"Sure thing, Tobs. You're the best and practically family. I can't wait to finally meet her." 

He tried to sound enthusiastic but Tobin didn't believe him for a second. She knew prince Henry wasn't ready to marry yet and had a hard time accepting his fate. 

She put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a sympathetic smile. 

Henry shrugged it off.  
"At least I don't have to worry about one of the other guards trying to steal her from me." 

Tobin snorted. "And here I thought you chose me because of my skills."

"Be careful, Tobs, okay? It's rough out there these days." 

"Yeah, I know. I should go now."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos and the comments. You guys are amazing.
> 
> Hope you like the new chapter. THEY FINALLY MEET!

Kingdom of Los Angeles, present :

"Chris! Wake up! We have to get ready."

Ali's voice ripped her out of a restless slumber.

Slowly, she sat up and rubbed her red rimmed eyes. She didn't have to look in the mirror to know that she'd look like hell. Her mother would be ashamed if she didn't at least try to make an effort for the guard. _The female guard._

Were women in Portland allowed to do men's work? Could that possibly mean, she'd have more responsibilities and freedom than she expected?

Christen didn't dare to hope.

In retrospective Christen couldn't say how Ali managed to make her look presentable in such a short period of time.  
The lady's maid took her job very serious and had to deal with her unruly curls on a daily basis.

Her hair, which had been a mess ten minutes ago, was in a tight, but elegant bun now. She wore a fine  
dress, that was slightly thicker than the ones she'd usually wear.

Christen looked at her reflection and tried to smile.

"Thank you, Ali. I don't think I could do this without you."

"Anytime Chris. I'll always have your back. We need to go....I'm going to get one of the guards to carry the bags downstairs."

She left the room and gave Christen a few last moments of privacy. Her gaze flickered around, trying to imprint everything to her memory. Sighing dejectedly, Christen finally followed Ali down into the great hall for a last breakfast with her mother.

"There you are! The guard is already outside waiting for you and Ali to leave", her mother chastised her as Christen tried to gulp down some water and a piece of bread. She wasn't particularly hungry.

"What do you mean...me and Ali?" She asked, still chewing on the bread. _Just me and Ali?_

"Christen! Stop this improper behavior. I taught you to be better than that!" the queen reprimanded her sternly.

"I'm sorry, mother. I...I'm just..." she racked her brain for anything but devastated. "Just nervous."

"I see....young love...", the queen sighed overly dreamy.

_Love? I don't even know him...she can't possibly think it'll be love at first sight?_

Ali looked like she'd bitten on a sour grape. "Your daughter is obviously suffering, your majesty! And I think you're well aware of it."

The color drained from Christen's face.

Ali's tone was enraged and absolutely inappropriate but she didn't seem to care. She would leave this castle and the queen behind anyway.

The queen was shocked into silence. Never had a servant dared to talk to her like that.

"What Ali's trying to say is... that I'm a little tense...at... at the prospect of leaving home," Christen stuttered, trying to save the situation.

A flicker of emotion ran over the queen's face. So fast, that Christen wasn't able to place it.  
"You know I only want the best for you, darling. You might not see this right now.... but it _is_ the best, for all of us ."

Christen took a deep, calming breath and nodded. "It's okay."  
She addressed her mother but it was meant to reassure Ali as well.

Ali cleared her throat and got up. "If you'll excuse me please, I'm going to see if the guard needs help."

The sound of the door closing behind her echoed through the room. Christen pushed the plate away.  
"Now that it's settled...we can't let the guard wait any longer, Christen. We don't want to make a bad impression, do we?" The queen didn't wait for an answer and and pulled her daughter in a hug. It was short and not as comforting as Christen had hoped. "Take care and behave yourself. We'll see you in a few weeks."

The queen left the room before Christen could reply. This was it. The start of a new life. She forced herself to keep her tears at bay, there would be enough time for them later, and went into the huge yard.

The sky was dark and rain drizzled down, wetting her hair and clothes. A few feet away she could see Ali talk to a leather-clad person, hood pulled down over their face, who was busy saddling the horses.

As Ali waved at her, the person turned. And whatever Christen expected... this wasn't it.

Soft, but watchful brown eyes bored into hers. Christens heart stuttered in her chest as she stood there rooted to the spot. The woman looking at her had to be the guard. But she couldn't be much older than her. Not more than one, or maybe two years.

Her long, slightly wet hair poked out of the hood and Christen could see her well defined jawline.  
She wasn't wearing a traditional royal uniform with the kingdom's emblem either, but her skilled movements and the way she had lifted the sattle as if it weighed nothing, made it obvious that she was fit.

The guard jogged up to where she stood. She pulled the hood off her face and got down on one knee.

"My lady," she said with a raspy voice. "my name is Tobin Heath and I'm here to escort you to Portland."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm backkk. Thanks to everyone taking the time to read and comment! I really appreciate it :)

Tobins POV

Still kneeling on the muddy ground Tobin stared wide eyed at the woman in front of her. Princess Christen was without a doubt the most beautiful woman she'd ever seen. 

"Good morning...ehm...ah"  
It seemed like the princess didn't know how to address her.

Tobin chuckled lightly with a knowing look. "Call me Tobin, my lady. No need for any titles, just Tobin is enough." She flashed the other woman a blinding and confident smile. 

"As you wish, just Tobin," Christen said and winked. Or at least... she tried to. The princess winked awkwardly with both of her eyes. Tobin's smile widened slightly. It was adorable. A raindrop ran slowly down the princess's cheek. Her skin looked smooth and absolutely flawless. 

"Please stand up. I'm Christen...but you obviously know that already" Christen said, her cheeks turning pink. Subconsciously she busied her hands tugging at her dress. 

Tobin's eyes followed Christen's hands and wandered over the princess's form fitting dress. Her _tight_ dress.   
_Oh lord...no._

Clearing her throat, Tobin stood frozen in front of the princess, unsure how to broach the subject. She'd never been a situation like this before. Her natural confidence faltered. 

"Your highness, y-your dress. I don't think it's suitable for this trip. You can't ride in it." She looked at Christen apologetically and then another thought came up. "You know how to ride, don't you?" 

The princess looked at her like a deer in headlights. 

"My dress?" she repeated in a whisper, looking down at the gown she'd put on this morning. The princess eyes found Tobin's and the fear and irritation reflecting in them made Tobin forget all her manners, wanting desperately to comfort her. 

"It- you look... very beautiful in it," Tobin said honestly. "You are about my size..I think I've got some clean pants in my bag that should fit you." She waved with her thumbs behind her to her horse and added a rushed "my lady." 

"I thought we'd travel in a carriage," the princess said quietly. 

"I-" she started, running her hand through her wet hair. The princess apparently didn't know that she was in imminent danger.   
_Why the hell haven't they told her?! She should be aware of the situation._  
Tobin gritted her teeth. Within a few minutes this mission got a whole lot more complicated. But it wasn't her place to tell the princess the truth.

"A carriage isn't able to get through the woods," she lied quickly, avoiding these magnificent green-grey eyes. 

Straightening herself a little the princess nodded. "Okay then. Let's do this."   
She seemed to have regained her composure. The determination in her voice made Tobin smirk. 

She jogged back to the horses, where Ali stood, having watched their interaction closely. 

"Everything okay?" the lady's maid asked cautiously while securing a bag on her saddle. 

Rummaging through one of her bags Tobin ignored her question until she found what she'd been looking for. "Ah. There you are. Yes, everything's fine. Just had to find some pants for the princess to wear." 

She ran back to Christen, leading her back inside the dry castle to change. She couldn't see Ali gaping at them.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The journey finally begins!  
> Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and read this fic! :)

"There is a vacated room over there," Christen said as they crossed the huge entrance hall. Still holding her pants, Tobin followed her faithfully a few steps behind. 

She entered the room and waved for Tobin to come in as well but the guard stood awkwardly in the door frame holding the pants out for her. 

"I'll - uh- I'll wait outside, my lady. To make sure no one's coming in while you change," she explained hastily, gave Christen the pants and was out of the room before she could've said another word.

_That was quick._  
Christen raised her eyebrows.  
Why would the guard run off so fast?  
She decided not to dwell on the situation and tried to reach the lacing of the dress with her hand but they were out of reach...  
_Damn it!_  
Her patience was running thin. "Tobin!" she yelled loudly, frustrated with the lacing.  
The guard peeked slowly inside. "Are you decent, my lady?"

Christen could only barely stop herself from snorting. "No. I'm not even out of the dress. I need your help to get the laces off, Tobin."

"Y-you want me to...I'm sure that's not-" the guard stuttered but a death glare from Christen stopped her mid sentence.

_Why is she even making such a big deal out of it?_  
"I want you to help me get out of this dress. This. Is. An order. " 

Tobin clenched her jaw tightly, gave her a curt nod and moved behind the princess's back.  
"Of course." 

Christen couldn't see what the other woman was doing but soon felt Tobin's hands pressed against the lacing close to her neck. Suddenly the room felt warmer than before. The calloused hand brushing lightly over the sensitive skin of her neck made Christen shiver and goosebumps erupted all over her skin.  
_Oh..._

"I'm sorry, my hands are cold," Tobin husked apologetically, mouth close to her ear.  
"No, it's- it's fine," Christen whispered quietly. She took a deep breath, Tobin's close proximity, the smell of leather, fresh rain and wood filling her senses.  
With skilled movements Tobin opened the dress. Her skin burned along the path Tobin's hand was trailing down her back. 

The dress fell almost silently to the floor. Suddenly Christen realized that she would also need some clothes to wear above the waist. 

"Done," the guard drawled, still standing only a few inches away from her. Christen turned on her heel and was met with those captivating brown eyes again. They seemed to be darker than before as they skimmed over her short undergarments.

"You need a top!" The guard exclaimed horrified as if she had just read Christens mind. "Oh my god. I'm so sorry, m'lady! Give me a second, I'll go get you something." 

Christen shook her head and smiled as the other woman literally sprinted out of the room. It was clear to her now that Tobin didn't spend a lot of time around other women.  
_Does she live with the other guards in the castle?_  
There was so much to find out about the woman, who would be her companion for the next two weeks and she couldn't wait to discover more about her. 

Fortunately Ali seemed to know what was missing and brought Christen a shirt. Combined with a leather jacket from Tobin she felt finally ready to face the storm. 

Christen climbed easily into the saddle, smirking as she caught Tobin's appreciative look before the guard pulled her hood up again and waved ahead.

"Ready? We're headed through this forest, which will take a while. Stay close to me and tell me if you need a break," the guard said firmly and pointed to the huge forest Christen used to play in when she was a kid. Christen realized that Tobin's voice wasn't lacking authority.  
_She's definitely used to command others._

The princess couldn't help but wonder just how high up the ranks Tobin actually was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo...what do you guys think will happen on the trip to Portland castle? 
> 
> Would you prefer getting shorter chapters twice a week as it is now, or rather have longer ones and wait a little longer?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You wanted a longer chapter...here is a slightly longer chapter :) 
> 
> There is still so much more to come for them.

Tobin's POV

The princess really _did_ know how to ride. Her body easily moved in sync with her horse and whenever Tobin looked back at the two women riding behind her, the princess seemed content, enjoying herself freely. 

Tobin couldn't even imagine what her life must've been like. She'd been lucky to spend her life under the king's protection with the freedom and privileges of a royal guard. 

All the expectations and hopes resting on Christens shoulders....  
Tobin didn't envy her at all.

They rode in silence for another hour, the forest around them got thicker.  
The bushes and low branches from the trees forced them to slow their horses down.

A sharp twig scraped Ali's arm, cutting through the thin cotton fabric and her skin.  
"Ah shit!" She swore loudly, catching Tobin's attention.  
"Everything okay?" 

The guard halted her horse, jumped out of the saddle and walked over. She helped Ali down and took a quick glance at the wound. It wasn't a deep cut but it was dirty.  
The princess was already by her side, looking worriedly at her lady's maid.  
Without another word Tobin moved to her saddlebag, grabbed a small wooden box with herbal ointment and went back to the two women.

The lady's maid shook her head. "It's fine, just a small cut." 

"It will prevent infection. The wound isn't bleeding enough to wash all the bacteria out ," she explained calmly and handed the box to Ali. It was just a precaution but Tobin didn't want any nasty surprises along the way.

She looked at the princess, who was helping Ali to roll up her sleeve. Her dark skin looked so tender and fragile that Tobin was instantly glad she was wearing the leather jacket. 

A cracking noise brought her focus immediately back to the present. She spun around, drawing her sword out of its sheath with one swift movement. 

A deer jumped out of the covert, startling the lady's maid and Christen. In contrast to them Tobin's tense body relaxed again. She sighed and slowly put the sword away.

It was dangerous to stay here. The bushes made it difficult to have a good overview of the surrounding area. 

"Ready to leave?" she asked, walking back to the two women, both still staring at the sword dangling from her belt. 

Ali studied Tobin's face intently and the guard felt like she wanted to ask something that the princess probably shouldn't hear. She shook her head faintly, not wanting to have this conversation while not being in full control of the situation. 

"How do you know so much about wounds?" Christen asked, handing her the ointment. 

Their hands brushed lightly and a tingling sensation pulsed through her hand.  
_What the...?_

Tobin pulled her hand away as if she'd been burned.  
She turned around quickly, putting some distance between Christen and herself. 

Packing the ointment back into the saddlebag, she eventually answered Christen's question.  
"I've had my fair share of injuries over the years."

Before the princess could say anything else, Tobin handed her some thin leather gloves. "To protect your hands. Should've thought of it sooner. I'm sorry, my lady."

Instead of taking them, she took a step forward into Tobin's personal space. Anger flared in her eyes. "Please stop babying me!"  
"I didn't mean to-"  
"I'm not made of glass! You and Ali are not wearing gloves. If you don't need them, won't need them either." The princess said, her armes crossed, a determined look on her face.

Tobin held her hands up in surrender, looking at Ali for help but the lady's maid just smirked at her and got back on her horse. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you, princess," Tobin said sincerely. 

Christen sighed and nodded. "I know. I'm just so sick of everyone treating me like a precious flower." The princess looked at her with sad eyes. "Sometimes I just want to feel like everyone else."

Tobin heard the unspoken apology behind her words and her heart ached for Christen.

"Okay then." Putting the gloves back into her bag she mounted her horse. 

They left the forest behind. Even after riding for hours none of the other women complained once. Tobin was admittedly impressed. Her own body was exhausted and she knew that the sun would set soon. 

"Let's camp here for the night," she called to the other women. A creek flowed through the unspoiled countryside and a huge tree would provide some shelter for the night. 

Tobin tied the horses to the tree and picked up some dry branches.  
They needed to get the fire ready before it would be too dark. Fortunately the rain had stopped a few hours ago. 

Ali dug through their provisions, pulling out a pan and some food. 

Still collecting wood for the fire, Tobin looked up to see the princess stand close to the tree, biting her bottom lip with an unsure expression on her face. 

_Oh to hell with it._  
"Would you like to help me set up the fire?" The words left her mouth before she could stop them.  
A small smile spread across Christen's face. "Sure. Although I have no idea how to do that." 

"I'll teach you," the guard said kindly, stacking up the wood before grabbing her flints, a fire striker and some dry hay from her bag. She scattered some hay above the wood then piling up a small heap close to some twigs. 

Christen kneeled down next to her, watching every movement with interest as Tobin explained each step.  
She could barely believe that the princess of Los Angeles was right here next to her, kneeling in the dirt.  
"All set. Now we need to strike sparks." Tobin demonstrated how to hold the flint and fire striker to let the sparks fly. 

Brows furrowed in concentration, the princess struck the stone to the steel a few times but nothing happened.  
"Here...let me," Tobin gently covered Christen's hands with her own to guide them, trying to ignore the strange tingling sensation.  
Two powerful strokes later the hay was ignited. 

"Wow." The princess breathed out a sigh.

"Fan the flames a bit, my lady. I'll try to fish us something for dinner," Tobin said and got up. She stole some bread from Ali's supplies and took her old rod with her. 

Half an hour later she came back with two large trouts and a huge grin on her face.  
Ali prepared the fish while Tobin and Christen sat side by side close to the fire. 

"Tobin... do you know the prince?" the princess asked quietly, staring into the flames.  
Tobin froze. She should have anticipated the question. Of course Christen would want to know what Henry was like.

"I do," she said slowly. "I-He's a very ehm...good...guy." She struggled with her words. The thought of Christen and Henry getting married was somehow unsettling.  
"I see..." The smile on the princess's face seemed forced. 

It didn't take long after dinner for the exhausted princess and Ali to fall asleep. Tobin sat cross legged at the fire. 

She was tired but she knew, she couldn't allow herself to sleep. Tobin grabbed her knife and started carving arrows to keep herself busy. She'd just finished the forth arrow when the lady's maid chose to sit down next to her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First things first: YES the longer chapters will continue!  
> I'll try to update this story every weekend. 
> 
> Seriously guys the response to the last chapter blew me away! Thank you so much!

Tobin's POV

"You're not planning on going to sleep at all." It wasn't a question so Tobin just continued to work on her arrows.

"Christen is in mortal danger, isn't she?" the lady's maid asked in a hushed tone. "That's why you're constantly on the edge."

Tobin looked at the peacefully sleeping princess with deep concern. "Yes. To be honest, I thought she would be somewhat aware of the situation." 

A humorless laugh slipped out of Ali's mouth. "Oh god, no. The queen would never allow anyone to tell Christen what's happening outside the castle."

"But you know," Tobin pointed out. "You could've told her."  
She couldn't keep the slight accusation out of her voice. The princess and Ali seemed to be close, good friends even. _  
Why hadn't she told her the truth?_

"I've only heard rumors. And I didn't want to believe them. But then the king suddenly got sick...and honestly? King Cody would've never send his beloved daughter away without a goodbye, unless..." 

She didn't finish the sentence but she didn't have to. Tobin's blood ran cold.

_No...!_  
Alarmed she sat up straighter, looking at the other woman sharply. Her grip around the knife tightened. "What are you saying, Ali? An assassination?!"

The lady's maid swallowed audibly. "I don't know if they actually succeeded. But so many things didn't add up and then you showed up without a proper royal uniform...I'm assuming king Harris ordered you to make sure we'll stay undercover," the lady's maid answered, wiggling her feet antsy.

"He did. But he failed to mention that king Cody's sudden 'illness' might be a result of an attempted murder," Tobin muttered darkly. Suddenly king Harris's overly worried behavior made a lot more sense.

She gritted her teeth. Her eyes flickered over to the beautiful young woman laying a few feet away. The thought of anyone coming close enough to hurt Christen was too much for her. Unconsciously, she clenched her fists.

"I promise you, that I will not let anything happen to Chr- the princess!" 

It was _so_ easy to forget who Christen was, that she's been close to slipping up all day. Tobin cleared her throat, throwing another piece of wood into the flames.

"To do that, you'll have to sleep eventually," the lady's maid reasoned and Tobin knew she was right. "How about this: you go to sleep now and I'll wake you at dawn to do the morning watch."

Ali rolled her eyes at the stubborn guard but agreed. 

Keeping herself busy with carving, Tobin stayed awake the whole night. A coyote howled close to them but she wasn't worried. The fire would keep it away. 

At the crack of dawn Tobin sneaked over to Ali, waking her quietly. She waited until the other woman was fully awake, before allowing herself to finally close her eyes for a while, falling into a restless slumber.

_The corridor was pitch black. The stone beneath her feet felt familiar. Portland castle. She wandered almost robotically through the narrow hallways. This reminded her of her childhood, when she used to play hide and seek late at night with Henry. She'd always hide somewhere in dark because the prince was scared of the darkness. But this darkness was not the calm, comfortable one she felt as a kid._

_There was an uneasiness that was almost palpable. Tobin started to run. In a flash bright lights ignited the room. She was in the great hall now and a couple of feet away stood the princess, shaking with fear. She wasn't alone._

_A blurry person stood in front of her, sword in their hands, aiming it at the princess. "No! Christen!" Tobin screamed, sprinting towards them but no words left her mouth. Hands grabbed her shoulders, holding her back. Tobin fought against them, but the grip around her shoulders tightened._

She needed to break the hold! Her hands grabbed the ones, that were still shaking her shoulders. Using her body strength she flipped the person around, pinning.... _her_ to the ground with her full weight.

Tobin blinked a few times, slowly gaining full consciousness. Stretched out beneath her body laid a wide eyed Christen. "T-Tobin," the princess whispered her name. 

Their legs were tangled together and Tobin had her still firmly pressed to the ground, hands close to her neck. Her stomach tightened. Those wonderful eyes looking up to her through long lashes had a deep shade of green. Tobin was paralyzed, unable to break the eye contact or move. 

The princess slowly lifted her arm to brush a strand behind her ear.  
Her hand grazed Tobin's cheek lightly and the guard felt the burn on her skin again that was almost familiar by now.  
"Y-you seemed to have a nightmare," the princess explained. "I-uh-"  
"You screamed," Christen prodded on. "My-my name."

Tobin still felt a little disorientated, not because she wasn't fully awake, but because of the body pressed against her. She forced herself to finally let go of Christen and raised to her feet. "I'm sorry for basically attacking you," she said sincerely.

Tobin helped Christen to get up as well and tapped the dust off her clothes.  
"It's fine. It's ah...good to see that your fighting skills work, even when you're asleep."  
Smiling she rubbed her neck. Tobin saw it and buried her face in her hands. "Please tell me I didn't hurt you."

The princess laughed. "You didn't, Tobin. The ground did. I'm just not used to it."

Before Tobin could say something in return Ali walked over. _Where had she been?_  
She was supposed to be on guard, not wandering around the area. 

Had Tobin trusted the lady's maid too easily? She decided to be more careful in the future and snatched a piece of bread.  
"We should go. The faster we reach Portland, the better," the guard said between two bites. Next to her Christen flinched a little at the mention of her soon-to-be home.

***

Tobin didn't sleep the next two nights. Whenever they rested, she forced herself to stay awake. Ali had offered a few times to watch but she declined politely. 

They were running short on supplies and they would have to stop at the next town, to stock them up before getting closer to the border. She would be more relaxed once they ultimately got to the safer territory. 

"What are you going to tell Christen about hiding her identity once we're in town?" The lady's maid asked her on deprivation day three, once she was sure the princess was sound asleep. 

Tobin sighed audibly. "Maybe I should just tell her the truth. That way she'll be prepared, if something happens."

"Aren't you getting in trouble with the king if you do that?" 

Tobin nodded grimly. "I'll think about it."  
_At least we should be able to get there in time to sleep in a real bed._

***  
"You look awful," greeted her the princess the next morning. 

"Thank you very much, my lady," Tobin laughed and rolled her eyes good-naturedly. 

The princess grinned back at her.  
_This is your chance. Ask her._  
"Sooo..." the guard started and rubbed her neck nervously with her left hand. "We'll reach Sterling town today." Christen raised her eyebrows and nodded slowly. 

"Well, uh...you said you wanted to feel normal. Still want to feel that way?" Tobin asked and avoided looking at her. She hated lying to the princess but disobeying orders wasn't an option. The king trusted her to do her job, so she would. 

"I do, why?" Christens voice was filled with hopeful curiosity. 

_God damn it, Heath! Just lie and go on with your work! You do not owe it to her to be honest!_

"I figured it might be nice, if you don't have to act like a princess for once when we get there. You won't have to dress up or talk to loyal subjects. No expectations," the guard explained and added with a smile, that was hopefully convincing enough: "just Christen."

Christen looked at her with an unreadable expression that made Tobin squirm. "I suppose that could be enjoyable. But people know me, Tobin. They'll probably recognize me anyway," she reasoned and shook her head.

"They only see what they want to see. No one will make the connection if you look like this, my lady." 

"Fine. But if this causes a scandal, you'll be the one explaining this to my future husband." Her voice was light and teasing but her smile didn't reach her eyes. Tobin wondered if that kind of scandal would be something Christen might secretly wish for, in order to escape the impending marriage. 

"Fair enough," the guard said and held her hand out to seal the deal with a handshake. Christen stared at her outstretched arm and Tobin realized her mistake. She put her hand in her pocket, cheeks turning pink. "Sorry my lady. I guess, uh..I was already convinced you're one of us."  
_Fuck!_  
Thankfully Ali showed up, asking when they would leave.

_Where the heck had she been?_  
Tobin wasn't sure what to make of the lady's maid. She wanted to trust the other woman, but her strange disappearances every now and then forced Tobin to be cautious. 

***

It took them all day to get to Sterling town. The sun was already setting when they saw houses on the horizon. Tobin slowed her horse down to talk to the other women. "Ready to head into town and sleep in a real bed?" Tobin asked Christen and the younger woman's eyes lit up. "Oh god, yes!"

Tobin chuckled and turned to the woman riding to her left. "The princess wants to stay incognito during-"  
"I know." The lady's maid interrupted her cooly, lowering her voice. "Nicely played, Tobin." 

Choosing to ignore the comment Tobin lead them into town and straight to the inn. She'd already stayed there on her way to LA Castle, making sure it was a safe place and easily became friends with the owner.

"Tobin, dear! It's wonderful to see you again!" An old lady, the inn's owner, came over and greeted them warmly. "And who are these lovely ladies?" 

Her gaze flickered from Ali to Christen, who stood stiffly next to the guard. Reassuringly Tobin brushed her hand against hers for a second.  
"This is Ali and-"  
"Annemarie," Christen jumped in swiftly. 

"Could you set up some rooms for us, please? One for Ali and one for Annemarie and me?" 

Tobin didn't need to look to know that both, Ali and Christen,  
had a stunned expression on their faces but this was Tobin's mission and she was taking it seriously. As long as she wasn't 100 percent sure that she could trust Ali, she would not leave them alone in a room in a foreign town. 

"Of course, give me a few minutes," the old lady said and went upstairs. 

"I'm staying with you?" Christen inquired suspiciously. 

"Yes. I'm responsible for you on this trip, Annemarie," the guard said calmly. 

"So much for feeling normal," the princess muttered bitterly and it took all of Tobin's self control not to back down. 

"I'm sorry. I promise I do not snore?" She tried to lighten the moods. A smile tugged on the corners of the Christen's mouth. 

The old lady came back and handed them the keys. "Make yourselves at home. If there is anything I can help you with, please let me know. Tobin, may I have a word with you. Alone?"

Slightly irritated the guard waited, while Christen and Ali started picking up their bags and moving upstairs. 

"What can I do for you, Mary?" Tobin asked curtly, not wanting to let Christen alone too long. 

"I just wanted to say that you really make a stunning couple," Mary said and squeezed Tobin's shoulder. 

"Huh?"  
_What is she talking about?_

"You and Annemarie! I could see the sparks flying between you two even with my bad eyesight."

Tobin's face felt hot. "I- we- we're not. We are two women!" She exclaimed louder than she wanted to, starting to feel flustered. 

The older woman smiled kindly at her. "It's okay, dear. I've seen it all. Love always finds its way, even if it happens between two women. See how she is watching us? Don't make her wait."

Tobin turned around and Mary was right. Christen stood at the top of the stairs, throwing them a curious glance...waiting for Tobin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will have Christen's POV again. Have a wonderful weekend :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're finally getting to know Tobin a little bit better. 
> 
> Let me know what you think.  
> There is some _violence in this chapter_
> 
> I hope this takes your minds off from the corona virus crises for a few minutes. 
> 
> Stay safe!

Christen's POV

"Chris?" Ali waited for the princess to follow her down the hallway to their rooms but she just waved her to go ahead. Christen watched the interaction between Tobin and the old woman intently. The guard seemed more than flustered.

_What kind of topic could have that effect on Tobin?_  
Her face was beet red and had Christen's curiosity skyrocketing. 

Tobin climbed up the stairs and passed her without another word, going straight to their room. Waiting a few seconds to give the guard some time to collect herself, Christen followed. 

She heart Tobin curse loudly, which was weird. Until now Tobin had been nothing but polite, always the dutiful royal guard she was expected to be. 

"Is...everything okay?" Christen asked as she closed the door behind herself. Tobin stood in the middle of the room, seemingly unsure what to to do with herself. Her face was still flushed and Christen had to admit that it looked good on her. 

"Yes! Of course! Why wouldn't it be?" Tobin asked so harshly that Christen took a step backwards. "You can take the bed. I'll just sleep on the floor." 

_Oh..._  
Christen was so focused on the guard that she hadn't looked at the room yet. It was nicely decorated, with a cozy fireplace, a fire was already crackling, painting the walls in a soothing orange glimmer. A huge bed stood in the middle of the room. 

She shook her head. "I'm not letting you sleep on the floor, Tobin. The bed is big enough to share."

Tobin's jaw clenched. "I can't seriously ask you t-"

Christen shut her down immediately. "You're not asking, I'm offering. I don't mind."

It was true. The guard always smelled nice and her usually calm attitude made Christen feel safer than she'd felt in quite a long time.

"I can't do that, my lady. You're a princess!" Tobin argued, hands waving between them.

"You were the one telling me, I could be just Christen for once! So let me," Christen had a hard time to keep herself from yelling. But she wouldn't back down. 

"I-"

"Please, Tobin. Just for tonight. Let me be Annemarie, not a princess," she pleaded quietly. 

The other woman sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "As you wish, Annemarie."  
Christen flashed her a grateful smile and sat cross legged on the bed. God, did it feel good to sit on the soft bed.

"There is a tub in the bathroom, if you'd like to take a relaxing bath," Tobin offered still standing a few feet away. 

"Oh yes, please", groaned Christen in anticipation. A hot bath sounded heavenly. Her muscles were sore and her hands ached from not wearing the gloves, not that she'd ever tell Tobin that. 

"I'll go and prepare it for you, my- uh Annemarie," the guard said hastily and went into the bathroom.

***  
The moment Christen sank into the hot water her whole body felt mushy. She let out a blissful moan.  
A crashing sound came out of the other room. 

"Tobin, are you okay?" Christen asked loudly.

"Y-yes," the guard squeaked in a high pitched voice. A mumbled "Shit!" followed and had Christen grinning. Tobin was really something else. 

Christen closed her eyes, letting the warm water wash away the dust and sweat of the last days. She could stay in this tub forever, never crossing the boarder to Portland. Just here in this room _with Tobin_. 

Christen had to admit that she enjoyed the guard's company. Tobin could be infuriating and stubborn but she was also smart, patient and even a little goofy at times. She wasn't like any woman the princess had ever met before and her blinding smile has never failed to lighten Christen's mood. 

The water slowly got colder and she had to get out. Hair wrapped up in a towel Christen padded back into the bedroom. Tobin laid casually on the bed legs stretched out and arms behind her head. "What happened in here?" Christen questioned and the guard blushed. 

"I broke a water jug. I'll pay for it tomorrow. Did you enjoy your bath?" 

"It was wonderful! I feel so relaxed right now. Exactly what I needed," Christen gushed happily and sat on her side of the bed. 

Tobin smiled brightly at her. "Good! I'm glad. If you don't mind, I'd like to take a quick bath myself. I'll be back in a few minutes."

Tobin's bath didn't take half as long as Christen's and soon both women were laying in comfortable silence on the bed.

If Christen had thought that Tobin smelled good before, it was nothing compared to a freshly bathed Tobin in clean undergarments. She felt herself drift closer to the other woman, soaking up her sent and the warmth, that was radiating from her body. 

In the flickering light of the fire she could see just how athletic the guard actually was. Her tight undergarments did nothing to hide her abs and Christen had a sudden urge to touch them. Her hand itched to trace the outlines of Tobin's muscles and she folded her hands together, to stop them from reaching out.

_What is wrong with me?!_  
Yes, she could admire the other woman's body, but wanting to touch her? 

"Why Annemarie?" Tobin wondered, breaking the silence.

_Huh?_

Christen snapped out of it.  
"It's my middle name. Not common knowledge though."

"So...your full name is Christen Annemarie Press...it suits you," the guard said slowly and Christen loved hearing Tobin say her name. It was the first time Tobin had adressed her as Christen, except for that nightmare a few days ago.

"Thank you. What about you?" Christen asked curiously. There were so many things she wanted to know about this fascinating woman next to her.

"My middle name is Powell," she said and and turned to face Christen. 

What a strange name. 

"It's a family name," Tobin chuckled and Christen buried her head in her pillow, realizing that she'd said it out loud.

Laying on her stomach she stared at Tobin, who looked more open than usual. 

"Can I ask you something? How did you become a royal guard? Are you the only woman?" 

Tobin closed her eyes for a second and the look she gave Christen was full of raw emotions. She sighed and was already on the way to answering when Christen stopped her.

"Please, don't feel obligated to answer! I'm not asking as a princess. I'm asking as Annemarie, who....who just wants to get to know you better. I could really use a...friend in Portland." She knew she was rambling but she wanted Tobin to understand. 

"You want to be friends?" Tobin asked in a disbelieving tone. 

"Why wouldn't I want that?"

The other woman shook her head. "Because I'm the one who escorts you to Portland to marry a stranger! I was so sure that you'd hate me for it. Lord knows, I probably would...if I were you." 

Tobin looked at her with so much compassion and worry in her beautiful brown eyes.

"I don't think I could ever hate you," Christen admitted quietly. "But I do have a hard time accepting my fate."

It was as honest as she'd ever been with someone who wasn't her lady's maid. 

The guard nodded lightly and took a deep breath. "I'm the only woman working for the royal guard. You could say it's in my blood. My father was the king's closest confidant and the leader of the royal guard. My parents died when I was 12." Her voice cracked. "Since then the king has been like a father to me. I wanted to follow in my dad's footsteps for as long as I can remember. When I was old enough, he made an exception." 

"I'm _so_ sorry, Tobin!"  
Christen pulled the other woman in a heartfelt hug. Tobin's hands tightened around her back, keeping the princess close to her.  
"It was noble of him to allow you to join the guard," Christen mumbled, rubbing soothing circles on Tobin's shoulder. 

"Yeah. It was. I'll forever be grateful for that. But we...uh- should really get some sleep now." Tobin slowly let go of the princess and crawled under her blanket. "Goodnight, Christen."

_She said it again_  
Smiling softly, Christen wrapped herself up in her blanket. She could definitely get used to the guard saying her name. 

***  
"Christen."  
_Why is the pillow talking?_

"Christen, come on, wake up. We need to go to the market."

Her pillow wiggled a little and forced her to open her eyes.  
She stared right in the soft brown orbs of Tobin Heath. Tobin Heath, whom she'd just used as a pillow.  
_Shit!_

She was comfortably cuddled into the guards warm body. Her arm was still draped over Tobin's stomach and she could feel the taunt muscles of her abs. "I'm- I'm really sorry!" Christen apologized and untangled herself sleepily. Pulling herself up in a sitting position, she rubbed her eyes. 

She other woman smiled at her. "It's fine. I haven't slept that good in a while." Christen's heart fluttered. 

She went into the bathroom to get ready. One of the perks of Tobin's clothes was, that she could put them on without any help. Her hair on the other hand...was a hopeless case. It looked like a bird's nest. After a few minutes, she gave up fixing it and strode back into the bedroom. She led out a frustrated huff.

Tobin raised her brows quizzically.

"Ali usually helps me tame my hair," Christen explained and rolled her eyes.

"You seem close. You're friends?" Tobin asked casually, securing her sword on her belt.

"Yes. Ali and I grew up together. She is my best friend and the only person-" she threw a glance at  
Tobin. "One of the few people I trust."

The guard rubbed her neck. It seemed to be some kind of quirk the other woman had when she was nervous, although Christen wondered why.

"Does she make a habit out of leaving in the early morning hours without a word?" 

Tobin's words were kind of playful but Christen could see the vigilance in her eyes. 

"I don't know....I do not control her," Christen said defensively. "How do you even know that?"

Tobin grabbed a plate from her nightstand and handed it to Christen.

"I went downstairs to get us something for breakfast and ran into Mary. She told me that Ali left three hours ago and hasn't returned yet." 

_Why would she do that?_

"Maybe she wanted to go for a walk. She hasn't seen much outside the castle," Christen pondered. 

"Maybe."  
It was obvious that Tobin didn't mean it. 

***  
After breakfast they went to the market. To say she was impressed by the guard's negotiating skills would be an understatement. 

Tobin had an aura of calm self confidence and her bright smile really did the trick. None of them seemed to care about her unusual outfit. 

While Tobin bought the necessities, Christen took everything in. It was the first time she had the chance to see what life looked like outside of the castle. A commotion in a nearby alley got her attention. Loud voices and the sound of scattering wood mixed.

Cautiously, she moved closer until she could see what was going on. Ducking behind a large carriage to stay out of sight, Christen watched.

Two men, dressed up in something that resembled a uniform, but definitely none of the official Los Angeles kingdom, were confiscating the goods this merchant wanted to sell. 

"Let go of me!" The merchant screamed as the bigger man grabbed him by his shoulders and slammed him against the house wall. "No! Please....I-I have a license!"  
The second man punched him straight in the face and the crunching sound, that echoed through the alley, made Christen's stomach churn.  
_Oh god, that man needs help!_  
Christen thought frantically of a way to distract these men long enough to help the bleeding merchant, who was on the floor now.

"If the king hears about this..." the merchant tried to get up but a hard kick into his stomach had him screaming in pain, going down to the floor again.

"The king?" the smaller man scoffed. "He can't help you. This is our territory. His word counts nothing out here. Get your shit together and see that you leave, before I change my mind and kill you! Go back to the castle, tell him this is just the beginning."

The two men left the bleeding merchant, coming back in her direction.

Christen was glued to the spot. Her legs shook heavily. 

_They're coming right at me!_

A hand covered her mouth and muffled her surprised scream.  
"Be quiet, Chris! It's me." 

_Ali?!_  
"Come on, in here!" She dragged the princess through a small door into the house on her left side and quickly shut the door.

"What were you thinking?! You can't just wander around!" the lady's maid was fuming. "They could've hurt you, Chris!"

"I-I-" Christen stuttered, feeling like she might throw up. 

"Where is Tobin?"  
The older woman paced back and forth, brows furrowed. 

Taking a few deep breaths to steady herself, the princess finally found her voice again.  
"I left when she was busy on the market."

That made Ali pause. "Did...did you try to run away?" Her voice got softer, but the worried look in her eyes did not disappear. 

"No!" That thought hadn't even crossed her mind since she'd met Tobin. A few weeks ago, when she and Ali were sitting in her bedroom back in LA castle, they had halfheartedly made plans to run away. They were not really an option but a good distraction, something to hold on to when her 18th birthday came closer and closer.

"I got distracted...and heard the noises and then I saw them and..." she trailed off.

"Ali...where are we?"  
They were alone. The small room was stuffed with stacks of parchment paper and quills. 

"This is the currier's office. I was trying to write a letter to someone, when I saw you walking around alone," the lady's maid explained and her cheeks flushed.

_A letter to someone? Did Ali have a sweetheart back in LA castle? No...surely she would've told her about it?_

"Whom are you sending letters to?" 

"Oh...uh. Just my mom. You know, she was really worried about us leaving for Portland."

Christen could tell that her best friend was lying. Tobin's words from this morning swirled in her head again.

"Tobin!" Christen said suddenly, color draining from her face. "Shit! We need to find her, I'm sure she's freaking out because I'm gone."

They went back to the inn, hoping to find her there. The lovely old lady told them the guard hadn't returned yet, so they decided, that it was best to wait for her. 

Mary offered them some slices of a delicious smelling apple pie but Christen was too restless to eat. She just sat at the table, her legs bobbing up and down. 

"Chris, it's okay," Ali tried to soothe her worries. 

"Mary?! Are you here?!" Tobin's urgent voice yelled from the hall. 

Christen jumped out of her seat and ran towards her. The guard stood in the hall, a deep frown on her face, her usually soft brown eyes were clouded. 

"Tobin!"

The other woman looked up. "Christen! Thank god!"  
She pulled her into a crushing hug. "Are you okay?" Pulling back a little to make sure she wasn't injured, Tobin sighed relieved. 

"Yes, I'm fine. God, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. There was this turmoil and I got distracted and then these men were- and Ali and I just-" Christen rushed to explain, not making sense at all. She thought of the bleeding merchant on the floor and what might have happened if Ali didn't find her. Her hands were clammy and breathing became harder with every second. Her vision blurred. 

"Chris, it's fine. Hey, look at me," the guard took her face softly in her hands and tilted Christen's head. "Breathe with me. You're safe."  
She did as she was told and after a few deep breaths the room stopped to spin around her.  
Tobin still steadied her, kept her grounded until she could breathe more freely again. 

"Th-thank you" Christen said quietly. Tobin gave her a nod and intertwined their hands. 

The stairs creaked as Mary walked down to them. 

"Mary, could we please stay for another night? I don't feel like today is a good day for traveling," Tobin said and the old lady gave her a sad look. 

"Not sure there is a good day for a safe trip in this kingdom anymore. Of course you can stay here. There is apple pie in the dining room if you're hungry."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise update! :D  
> Thank you for your comments, they mean so much and make me want to write faster. I hope you like it :)

Christen's POV

Tobin didn't eat apple pie. She just tugged Christen by her hand and lead her upstairs into their room, closing the door behind them. 

Christen sank down on the bed. It wasn't even lunchtime and she already felt exhausted. 

Tobin sat down next to her and intertwined their hands again, her thumb caressing Christen's knuckles. 

"Want to tell me what happened?" the guard asked softly. "You had me worried. I couldn't find you and then someone screamed that there was a body found in an alley" she paused, taking a steadying breath. "And-and I thought what if you-god Christen...I'm just so relived you're okay."

_A body? Why didn't I do anything to help him!_  
Christen squeezed Tobin's hand a little tighter. She swallowed against the lump in her throat. 

"He's dead? The merchant?" 

Tobin's eyes widened. "You saw him?"

"Y-yes. And I saw the men who did this to him. I-I couldn't stop them...I s-should have done something. God,Tobin...they killed him! If Ali hadn't found me in time..." Her voice sounded foreign to her own ears and her body started shaking uncontrollably again.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," Tobin said and gave her a short side hug. 

"How can you be so calm? Someone just died miserably and alone in an alley. He-he begged them to stop."  
Tears welled in her eyes but she rapidly blinked them away. She didn't need Tobin to see how weak she was. 

The guard sighed. "Chris, I have seen people die before. I know it's a lot for you to take in right now."

"I just felt so h-helpless. I should've done something but I was too much of a coward to even try," Christen said and leaned her head on Tobin's strong shoulder. "I-I'm not like you. I'm not strong."

Tobin wasn't having any of it.  
"That's not true. You are so incredibly strong. Just in a different way. It's okay to be scared, Christen."

Christen took a deep breath and made a decision.

"Teach me."

"Teach you what?" The guard answered confused. 

"I want to learn how to fight," Christen said determined. She knew it wasn't ladylike but she wanted to fight the fear. She wanted to be able to hold her own.

She had expected the other woman to argue about this, but Tobin didn't.

"Okay, if that's what you want," Tobin nodded. "I'll teach you. But not in this town. I don't want to draw attention to us."

"Thank you Tobin," Christen said gratefully. "I really appreciate that." 

Wordlessly, Christen let herself fall backwards, staring at the ceiling. She was safe and she was going to learn to defend herself. She started to repeat those words like an inner mantra to stay calm. Nobody seemed surprised by what happened today. Not even Ali. 

Whenever Christen and her family had visited towns on the outskirts of the kingdom everyone had been welcoming, all seemed quaint and lovely.  
The brutal murder of an innocent person had shaken her to the core.  
Needing something familiar to hold onto, Christen asked: "Could you...could you get me something out of my bag?" 

"Sure. What do you want?" 

"My favorite book. It's called-"  
"I'll just bring the whole bag, hang on," Tobin interrupted and got to her feet. She paused at the door and turned to Christen. 

"You said something about Ali earlier. Where has she been?" 

"She uh-she was at the currier's office, writing a letter," Christen said. 

Surprise flickered in Tobin's eyes.  
"A letter? To whom?"

Christen slid back and forth on the blanket, unsure what to answer. She trusted Ali unconditionally and yet she was certain that her friend had lied.  
"Her mother. She was worried about our journey." 

_Ali better has a good reason not to tell the truth._

Tobin nodded but didn't seem convinced. It didn't sit well with Christen to lie to her, but she didn't want to cause any disruptions between her two companions. 

***  
Tobin brought their bags upstairs and busied herself sewing a pocket of her pants. 

Her favorite book in hand, Christen watched mesmerized how coordinated and fast Tobin's movements were. Was there even anything this woman couldn't do?

"What's the book about?" Tobin asked, looking up from her work.

Caught mid staring, Christen blushed and finally opened the book. "It's about a forbidden love. A princess falls in love with a subject."

"Scandalous," Tobin grinned and focused her attention back on the needle. 

"Does...does Henry have a lot of women fawning over him?" 

"Mhm, yeah. He's the prince. It would be weird if they weren't," Tobin answered without looking up.

"Are you too? Liking the prince, I mean," Christen asked nervously, biting her lip. 

"Ouch!" Her question had Tobin missing the fabric and stab the needle right into her thumb.  
"You have absolutely nothing to worry about! Henry is like a little brother to me." Tobin shuddered at the thought of being attracted to the prince. 

Relief flooded Christen.  
_So Tobin isn't interested in the prince._

"How old are you?"

The guard furrowed her brow at being questioned. "I'm 19, why?"

"Well...uh...aren't you looking for a man to marry sooner or later?" Christen asked carefully and watched how Tobin's shoulders stiffened. For some reason she had a hard time picturing Tobin with a man. 

"I will not get married. Guards in Portland are not allowed to marry, Christen. The king put that rule into place when my family was killed."

The cold and distant tone made Christen flinch.  
_Killed?_ She realized that Tobin hadn't mentioned how her parents died. 

Deciding to better leave Tobin alone, she finally grabbed her book and got lost in the story. 

*** 

"Do you enjoy reading?" Tobin broke the silence after a while.

"I do! Diving into another world...it's wonderful. Even though I never really left the castle and its grounds, it felt like I still got to see new places." She smiled fondly at the memories of reading way past midnight.  
"Do you like to read?"  
The guard sighed and shook her head. "I can't."

Her confusion must've been obvious.

"I-I never learned how to read or write," Tobin said quietly and lowered her gaze. 

_Oh..._  
Of course Tobin didn't know how...she grew up like a guard. She didn't have fancy gatherings with baronesses and duchesses and her duty did not require her to learn it. Christen had to stop herself from groaning. 

"Do you want to learn?" Christen asked, trying to make up for her tactlessness."I could teach you how to read and write."

Tobin's head snapped up and the look she gave her made Christen's breath catch.  
"I'd love that."

Christen stood up and rummaged through her bag to find parchment, a quill and her small inkwell.

"Wait, you wanna start now?" The guard looked unsure as Christen pulled out the items.  
"Yes. It's going to take some time to learn and we're staying here for the rest of the day anyway."  
And she could use the distraction..

***  
"Ugh, this is harder than I thought," Tobin grumbled and threw the quill to the end of the bed.  
"Patience, Toby," Christen giggled as the guard sat pouting next to her. The pout turned into a scowl at the nickname. "Toby?" 

Christen grinned and nodded, the look on Tobin's face was hilarious. 

Tobin rolled her eyes at the princess but grabbed the quill again. "How do you spell Toby?"

Christen wrote it down for Tobin to copy. Her handwriting was messy and a bit uncoordinated but the progress was noticeable.

"Well done," Christen praised and smiled at the guard.

***

She couldn't sleep. Whenever she closed her eyes she saw the merchant's blood covered face. Blinking rapidly to chase the memory away, Christen tried to be calm and lay still, not wanting to disturb Tobin's sleep. 

"I know you're awake." Tobin's voice was a little scratchy. Sighing Christen turned towards the dark silhouette of the other woman.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to keep you awake." Christen felt a warm hand holding onto hers.

"I get it. The first time someone died in front of me, I couldn't sleep for a week. You're safe with me." 

Gripping her hand a little tighter, the princess couldn't keep her thoughts inside any longer.  
"Tobin, I-I don't want to go to Portland. My kingdom seems to be in crisis, that I wasn't aware of. I want to help!" 

Silence stretched between them, Tobin not saying anything but then:  
"When you and Henry marry and our kingdoms align, it will bring back the stability LA is missing at the moment. Portland will help." 

Christen couldn't read the tone in Tobin's voice.  
_When...not if._  
"Henry-he's a good guy. I'm sure you'll fall for him eventually. Don't you want to have your own family and be happy and in love, Chris?"  
Christen knew now, what kind of tone it was. Tobin sounded pained. 

"Don't you want to have that, too?" Christen asked, deflecting the question with another.  
"As a guard-"  
"I meant as a person, Tobin. I get that you're not allowed to have it, but it doesn't mean you can't wish for it."

The older woman sighed defeated. "I don't think love is in the cards for me." 

Her words hit Christen the wrong way. How could Tobin say that? She was such an amazing woman. 

Later she couldn't tell what caused the bow to break in that moment, but in the safety of the darkness surrounding them, she suddenly found herself placing a hand on the guard's cheek. Tobin's breath hitched as Christen leaned closer. She couldn't stop, was drawn to her in a way that she hasn't felt before. 

Her nose bumped against Tobin's and she could feel the other woman's breath ghost against her lips, wondered for second what it would feel like, to have those full lips pressed against hers. 

She turned her head and gave the guard a soft but lingering kiss on her cheek. Her lips tingled and she closed her eyes to enjoy the feeling, before pulling back out of Tobin's personal space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming next: Tobin teaching Christen how to fight and our ladies cross the border to Portland.
> 
> I've got another question for you: Which members of the USWNT would you like to see make an appearance in this story?


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO much for your kind comments! You guys are amazing and I really want to give you something back! Hope you enjoy.
> 
> For those of you, who wanted to see Ash and Kelley - both of them will be important for the story, which is why I tagged them and I already have some ideas for Pinoe and Sonnett :)

Tobin's POV

Tobin was paralyzed.  
Her cheek burned where the other woman's soft lips had kissed her. She couldn't believe it. The princess of LA had just kissed her cheek out of nowhere. When she felt Christen's breath on her lips, she'd been sure for a moment that the other woman would kiss her for real. And Tobin...Tobin would've let her. Her stomach flipped at the thought of having Christen's lips on her own. 

_God, what is happening?_  
"You know exactly what's going on," A voice in the back of her head, that sounded suspiciously like Mary, answered. She pushed that thought away. 

Tobin didn't know how long she laid in the dark without saying a word, the princess's hand still clasped in hers.  
"Christen?" she whispered quietly but didn't get a reply. The guard listened closely to her breathing. It was too fast for Christen to be asleep. 

***

"Good morning lovelies," Mary greeted them as they walked down the stairs, Tobin keeping her distance. They hadn't talked about Christen's little display of affection and it seemed like the princess had no intention to. She chatted with Ali, while Mary brought her famous breakfast to their table. 

Why was she thinking so much about this? Hell, Christen had probably just wanted to be friendly. She was Henry's betrothed after all. Subconsciously the guard scratched her cheek. 

"Tobin, dear?"

"Huh?" She hadn't listened to what the other women talked about. "I'm sorry. What were you saying, Mary?"

The old lady shook her head and smiled. "I asked, if you wanted another slice of ham." 

Tobin thanked Mary profusely and dug into her food. It was as delicious as usual. Tobin wasn't overly hungry but she knew she wouldn't get such wonderful food anytime soon.

"Have you packed your things up, Ali?" Tobin asked the lady's maid, hoping that they could leave after breakfast.

"All packed and ready to leave. Are we heading towards the border through the Blackheart forest or along the hills?" Ali asked conversationally, playing with her knife. 

_Something is off with her. She is trying too hard to be casual. Why does she even want this information?_  
A quick glance at Christen confirmed Tobin's suspicion. She wasn't buying it either. 

"Why are you asking?" 

"Just curious. I looked at the map yesterday and wondered which route would be easier," the lady's maid answered and shrugged. 

Tobin didn't like this. As long as the lady's maid wasn't honest about her intentions, she would not get a honest answer.

"It depends on the weather. I haven't decided yet." 

Ali's shoulders sagged faintly. "I see."

***  
"Mary, may I have a word, please?" the guard asked nervously after breakfast. 

"Of course, dear. Just give me a minute." 

Ali and Christen saddled their horses, making sure every bag was securely strapped to the horses. Watching them, Tobin couldn't help but feel proud of Christen. 

The princess didn't wait for her lady's maid to prepare everything, she just did it herself. When Christen lifted the heavy saddle from the ground, she staggered and almost tripped over her own feet. Tobin couldn't contain her grin. 

"Oh, the heart eyes again."  
Mary walked over to her, a towel thrown over her shoulder.

"I don't have heart eyes!" the guard argued, cheeks turning pink. 

Mary laughed kindly.  
"You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah, I-uh...yes."

"Your eloquence is astonishing, dear," Mary teased her.

The truth was, that Tobin had no idea how to start. She was having trouble to wrap her head around this.  
"I've-I've thought about what you said-what you said...about Annemarie and me," she began slowly.  
The old lady nodded and waved her hand for Tobin to continue. 

"It's wrong," Tobin said bitterly. "Two women being together romantically." 

Mary frowned at her bitterness. "Tobin, it is okay to prefer the company of women."

Clenching her fists, the guard looked at the old lady, tears in her eyes. "Do you actually believe that?"

After what happened last night, Tobin felt out of balance. Yes, she has always appreciated a beautiful woman but being attracted to them? Having feelings for them? She'd always known that she didn't like men. And maybe, deep down...  
_STOP thinking about this!_

Mary seemed to feel her inner conflict, or maybe it just showed on her face.  
"Yes, I do believe that with all my heart. Who cares, if the person you love is a woman? If you love her wholeheartedly, who would I be to judge you for it?"

Tobin swallowed hard. "She's going to get married."

That made Mary pause. She and Tobin both looked at the princess, who was currently having a conversation with her lady's maid.

"When?" 

"Approximately three weeks."  
Mary gave her an encouraging look. "That still is enough time." 

"Enough time for what exactly? I cannot give her what she wants!Can't give her the family she deserves. I-"  
All the carefully picked reasons why Christen couldn't ever fall for her, bubbled out or her mouth. 

Mary shook her head. "Enough of this! Why don't you let her decide that? You've got a smart woman over there."

Christen waved at them, already sitting in the saddle. 

Lost in her thoughts, not taking her eyes off the princess, Tobin said: "Yeah, she really is."

The old lady smiled."Take care, dear. If you need a safe place to stay in Portland, please contact my granddaughter. She lives not far from the castle."  
She handed Tobin a piece of parchment with an address. "I truly wish you the best of luck!"

Tobin nodded. "Thank you, Mary. For everything," she said sincerely and gave the old lady a warm hug.

***  
They've been riding for about two hours and Tobin found herself stealing glances at the princess. She was increasingly annoyed with herself.  
_Concentration, Heath!_

The weather was good, exactly what Tobin has been hoping for. She wanted to ride along the hills for as long as possible, avoiding the main part of the Blackheart forest until they'd be closer to the border.

The route along the hills would take a few hours longer but the Blackheart forest wasn't safe. It was the home of reavers and vagabonds robbing travelers, who wanted to cross the border. 

"Wow, it's breathtaking!" The princess said in awe at the clear view of the beautiful hills to their left side. The luscious green of the still wet grass sparkled in the sunlight. The look on Christen's face was so pure that Tobin couldn't help but smile.

_Breathtaking indeed._  
Tobin wished, she could take Christen to her favorite spots in Portland. She knew that the younger woman would be too busy with wedding preparations and she seriously doubted the king would allow her to take the princess out. Not in times like these. 

***  
"We should camp here," Tobin said, as the sun started to set.  
She and Christen worked together to get the fire going, while Ali was preparing their meals. 

"Sooo," the younger woman began. "Now that we are all alone, when are you going to teach me?"

"We can start with a few basics after supper," Tobin said and stretched her legs. 

Christen's request had taken her by surprise, but she was all for it. She understood the princess's need to be independent and able to fight. 

After their meal Ali stood up and got to her horse. Tobin couldn't see what she held in her hand.  
"I'm gonna go for a walk, so you guys can work in peace."

"Oh, no it's fine," Tobin said just in the same moment as the princess answered "Thank you, Ali."

_Damn it! What did she take?_

Ali nodded at Christen and started walking away. It was getting darker and Tobin couldn't see the lady's maid anymore.  
Straining her ears Tobin listened to Ali's footsteps slowly fading.

She got up and stretched her hand out to help Christen rise from the ground as well. Tobin looked her deep in the eyes. "Before we start, I have to ask you this. Do you trust Ali unconditionally?"

The princess was taken aback by her bluntness but it was necessary.  
"I-I do. I've already told you as much, Tobin!" Christen said defensively.  
"Do you know what she is actually doing? Where she is going?" the guard asked urgently.

Christen shook her head. "Whatever she is doing...I know she would never betray my trust."

The guard sighed. She wanted to trust Christen's judgement. If only it was that easy. Tobin grabbed her sheath and dagger and put them safely on the ground. Not too far away, in case she'd needed to be quick. 

"Okay, let's start. I'm going to teach you some moves and methods to help you in one on one combat," Tobin explained. "What's most important, is to be aware of your surroundings."

Christen nodded eagerly. "Will you show me how to use a sword as well?"

"Oh, ehm...sure I can do that. Not tonight though." The princess had caught her off guard again. 

"Okay, what's going to be essential for someone who's as-"  
_soft? Delicate? Feminine? Exquisite? Fuck._  
"uh-someone who's not as trained, is to use your opponents weight and strength against them."  
Tobin could feel her face heating up and was glad that the princess couldn't see it in the flickering light the fire provided. 

"So I'm not going to learn how to throw a punch?" The younger woman asked, almost sounding disappointed. 

Tobin chuckled. "Chris, I can't teach you everything in one session. If you want to learn it all, we can make this a regular thing."

The princess looked so excited, that Tobin had to bite her lip to stop herself from smiling.

"Ready?" She asked and moved closer to Christen.  
"Yes!" 

"Okay. First of all: the best fights are those you can avoid."  
Tobin clapped her hands and moved closer to the princess.  
"But if that's not possible, I'll show you how to break a hold. If they're in front of you, go for the vulnerable parts of the body: kick between their legs or aim for the eyes, ears or," Tobin took Christen's hand and placed it just below her rib cage. "here." Her hand shook lightly, or maybe it was Christen's? She couldn't tell. 

Swallowing her nerves, the guard put her hands around Christen's neck and held her firmly in place. Christen let out a surprised squeak, eyes wide, locking with Tobin's. Tobin let go of her immediately but didn't apologize. The princess wanted to learn and if it came to it, no one would spare her.

Placing Christen's hands around her own neck, she demonstrated a quick move to break free and twist the other woman's hand around, gaining full control of her. 

"Once you've done that first hit, their hold won't be as strong and that is your chance to free yourself. Joints and digits are fragile. Use that to your advantage and free yourself like I've just shown you."  
Christen nodded determinedly and took a breath before Tobin's hands closed around her neck again. Her fingers tingled, as they were pressed against the princess's smooth neck. It was distracting her and she had to force herself to stay in this exercise. It took the princess a few tries to fully get it right. 

After that, she showed her how to disarm someone without getting cut and how to get rid of someone grabbing you from behind. 

"Ouch," the guard laughed, landing hard on the ground, after the princess had flung her over her right shoulder with a skilled move.  
"Yeah, just like that! That was amazing, Chris!" Tobin told her and rubbed her aching shoulder.

The younger woman stood there with her hands on her hips, grinning from ear to ear. "Thank you, Tobin." 

"Anytime, Chris. I think it's enough for tonight, though." 

It was pitch black around them. They must've trained for almost two hours but the lady's maid still hadn't returned. 

Tobin grabbed two mugs and filled them with water, handing one to the princess.  
"Thanks."  
Tobin smiled at her and sat down close to the fire. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.  
"Toby?"  
"Mhhm."  
Rolling her eyes at the nickname, the guard turned to the princess.  
_She looks conflicted._

"What-what do you think is Ali doing?" 

The guard sighed. She didn't want to lie to Christen anymore. Christen wasn't this fragile flower, that needed to be protected from the scary world outside. 

"I don't know. What I do know is that there are people out there, who do not want you to marry Henry. People, who do not wish for LA to be peaceful and safe. People, who do not want the Press family to reign."

Christen pulled her knees up to her chest. "I see." She seemed to be calm but Tobin had a feeling that she was hiding behind a mask of indifference.

Tobin wanted to comfort her, tell her that she would do everything to keep her safe but before she could even form the right words, footsteps approached them. Her hand reached instinctively for her sword. 

Ali slowly came into view. The look on her face was sullen.  
Once she was close enough, the lady's maid forced a smile.  
"How was training?"

Tobin's eyes flickered to Christen but the younger woman made no move to answer.  
"Good, Christen is a natural," she said honestly.

The lady's maid gave them a thumbs up. "I'm tired. Good night you two."  
Without further explanation, Ali got her blanket and laid down, keeping her distance from them. 

"I guess, I should go to sleep as well," Christen said quietly. She stayed closer to the warm fire, just a few feet away from Tobin. 

A few hours later, Tobin had trouble staying awake. She's been staring into the fire, thinking about the best way to get through the Blackheart forest. Needing to do something to distract herself, she got up and pulled parchment, quill and ink out of Christen's bag.

The guard tried her best to remember how to write the letters but it was difficult. She copied them from the sheet Christen had made for her and practiced writing her name. The more she tried, the better her handwriting got.  
She stole a glance at the beautiful woman, cuddled up in a warm blanket next to her and wrote neatly:  
_Toby_

***  
Tobin woke everyone in the early morning hours. She wanted to cross the border to Portland today.  
After eating a quick breakfast, the three women were on their way.  
The Blackheart forest loomed in front of them. 

_Just two more hours and we'll be in a safer territory. Don't let your concentration slip._

"We need to be extra careful now. Please stay close to me at all times!" She said and the other women nodded. 

It turned out to be a smooth trip. Tobin's senses were on high alert the whole time but they got through the LA part of Blackheart forest without any trouble.  
"Welcome to Portland," she said relieved, as they crossed a small barricade and the large wooden sign with the emblem of Portland. 

Just as Tobin finally allowed herself to relax a bit, everything went to hell. 

She heard it first. The sharp zipping sound of an arrow flying through the air. 

"Chris! Watch out!" Tobin yelled, leaping off her horse and at the princess to shield her from the arrow. Both women crashed down hard to the floor. 

Pain radiated from her right shoulder and something warm and wet trickled down her sleeve, soaking her clothes. An arrow stuck deep inside the flesh just below her collarbone. 

"Oh my god, Tobin!" Christen was above her instantly, caressing her cheeks with shaking hands.  
"Don't leave me, Tobin! Please,  
I can't lose you," Christen whispered, tears in her eyes, as she cradled Tobin's injured body softly in her lap. 

The sound of heavy footsteps coming closer through the covert alerted the guard. They were running out of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger, I had to do it ;-)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some secrets will finally be revealed in this chapter. Thank you all for your kind words!  
> I've been going through a rough patch lately...so thank you for brightening my days with comments and kudos.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Christen's POV

_No. No. No. No!_  
"Toby!"  
Christen willed herself not to cry but as she held the bleeding guard in her arms she almost lost it. She didn't know what to do, wanted to ease Tobin's pain and grabbed the arrow. Maybe it would hurt less, if she'd pulled it out.  
Her hands slowly closed around the arrow.  
"N-no, Chris. Don't!" the older woman groaned.

Ali was appearing by their side, holding the reigns of their horses tightly in one hand.  
"Don't pull it out! She'll bleed to death!" Christen immediately let go of the arrow. 

"L-leave. I promised to protect you, Chris. Leave," Tobin pleaded and tried to shove the princess away from her. 

Christen shook her head vehemently. She wouldn't let Tobin die here in this forest. 

"Well, well, well. Ain't we lucky?"  
a cold voice said.  
Three men appeared in front of them. One was shouldering a bow. They all had the same nasty grin plastered on their faces.  
Christen recognized their uniforms. It were the same ones the offenders in town had worn.  
_Oh god..._

The guard in her arms wiggled, trying to get up. "Tobin-"  
She shook her head and cupped Christen's cheek, brown eyes locking with green determinedly.  
The princess knew then, that she couldn't stop Tobin. The older woman would fight until her legs gave out. 

She helped the guard up and steadied her. Ali had grabbed Tobin's sword and held it in front of her, ready to fight. 

"My, do you see that, Jon? These women wanna put up a fight. Let's make this easy for you, ladies: Put your weapons down and I promise to make it quick. You won't feel it," a tall, blonde man said, laughed humorlessly and drew his sword. 

Tobin handed Christen her dagger. "Cut down the arrow. Close to my skin, c'mon Christen. I need to be able to move." 

Christen didn't waste any time and did as she was told, trying not to move the arrow much.  
Tobin's pained yelp would probably haunt her in her dreams, if they survived this. 

The men had watched the exchange with interest. They didn't seem to think of them as serious opponents.  
Christen remembered what Tobin had told her yesterday and prepared herself. She would not let Ali and Tobin fight alone. 

Tobin took a few steps to stand in front of her and Ali. 

"Do you really need a sword to fight against women?" Tobin taunted, her voice not wavering at all. 

One man's face turned into an angry grimace and he snorted.  
"As if." He bore his sword into the ground and moved closer to Tobin. He was about twice her size, but Tobin didn't seem to be impressed. She quirked an eyebrow at the man. 

His patience snapped and he moved forward blindly, throwing a punch in Tobin's direction. The guard dodged it easily, kicking hard against his kneecap. He fell to his knees, groaning in pain. Tobin whirled around and sent him tumbling to the ground with a precise punch to the temple. He was knocked out. 

_Wow._  
Tobin was an amazing fighter. Even badly injured, she still fought better than half of LA's guards. 

Christen's gaze flickered to the two remaining men. Their dismay seemed to change into rage. Both drew their weapons and lifted them threateningly. 

Ali handed Tobin her sword. The guard made a show of taking her fighting stance, throwing her opponents a confident grin. 

But Christen could see through her. Tobin was as white as a ghost and sweat ran down her face. She didn't hold her sword up like she did last night. The woman would collapse soon. 

Christen took a few steps forward, raising the dagger. She had to help Tobin. 

Out of nowhere, arrows flew past them and landed directly in front of the men's feet.  
"What the hell?!" Tobin exclaimed irritated, as more arrows shot through the air, one hitting the man standing closest to Tobin straight in the chest. 

Someone was helping them! Who was it? Royal guards? 

The last remaining man's eyes darted around frantically. He decided to flee. 

Suddenly they were alone.  
Tobin was breathing hard and sank down on one knee. Christen rushed to her side, holding her upright.  
"Careful, Tobin. Don't hurt yourself any more," she said worriedly.  
"C-Chris we need to go. We don't know, if the archer is a friend or foe," the guard reasoned. 

The princess glanced around but couldn't see or hear anyone approaching them. 

Tobin grabbed Christen's shirt with her uninjured hand, pulling her closer. Their faces were just mere inches apart now and her head started to spin from the close proximity and the slowly fading adrenaline rush. 

"Chris, I-" 

Tobin's legs gave out. Christen caught her just in time, before she could hit the ground. "Tobin!" 

The guard was unconscious.  
Lowering the injured woman cautiously to the ground, Christen turned around to ask Ali for help. 

The lady's maid paced by the bushes, where the arrows had come from, a few yards away. 

"Ali! I need help!" Christen said loudly, trying to get the other woman's attention. The lady's maid looked back at her, but it felt like she wasn't actually seeing her. She seemed to be completely rattled. 

A loud, whistling noise echoed through the air unexpectedly. It sounded like a bird, but not quite. Christen was almost sure that sound was made by a human.  
Was this a code? Was someone out there, waiting for a good moment to attack? 

Christen stiffened, but Ali....Ali let out a relieved sigh and a broad smile spread on her face. She raised her arms in the air. "Thank you!" 

_What's going on?_  
Christen felt utterly confused, but this conversation would have to wait. 

The lady's maid got Tobin's bags and strode back to where Christen kneeled on the ground, next to Tobin's unconscious body. 

The guard looked so vulnerable, so....young. It was the first time since Christen has met her, that Tobin wasn't awake. It dawned on her, that she'd never seen the guard sleep before. Whenever Christen woke up, the guard had already been awake. 

A hand on her shoulder made her jump. "Ali! You scared the shit out of me!" She'd been so focused on Tobin, that she'd forgotten about Ali for a second. 

"Relax, Chris. I swear, we are safe...let's concentrate on helping Tobin," the lady's maid said calmly.  
"I'm sure she was prepared for this." She scanned the bag's content and pulled out bandages and two different ointments. 

"We need to get the arrow out before she gets a blood poisoning," Ali said and grabbed the yellowish ointment. "See? Well prepared. Yellow Loosestrife. It'll help stop the bleeding and sterilize the wound." 

Ali handed her a thick piece of cotton and applied a layer of the ointment. "I'm going to get the arrow out now. Chris, you need to put pressure on the wound immediately, okay?" 

The princess nodded. Her hands were already sticky with Tobin's blood and she felt nauseous. 

Slowly but surely, the lady's maid extracted the arrow. More and more blood oozed out of the wound and the sight made Christen gag. "Put pressure on it!" Ali ordered and Christen pressed down on the wound with both hands. 

Ali took the bandages and wrapped them tightly around Tobin's torso.  
"All right, that should do it," she said and put everything back into the bag. 

Christen sat next to the guard and gently brushed a strand out of Tobin's still pale face. "Is she going to be okay?" she asked shakily, not able to tear her gaze away from the woman on the floor. 

"You're very fond of her," Ali acknowledged and threw her a curious glance. "She should be fine. She's lost a lot of blood, but I think she'll pull through." 

"Shouldn't we get out of here?" Christen asked, not liking the idea of staying in this goddamn forest for longer than necessary. 

The lady's maid sighed and nodded gloomily.  
"Ali, what-?" 

"Not now, Christen...please," Ali interrupted, almost begging her to let go.  
"Okay", the princess agreed. "How do we get Tobin out of here?" 

"I'm not sure. I can only think of ways that put pressure and friction on the wound," Ali admitted. 

Christen looked around, trying to come up with a solution.  
_Come on, think! She needs you now._

Her gaze fell on the blankets.  
_Yes! That could work._

"Ali, can you get me the ropes? I have an idea." 

The princess got to her feet, grabbed one of the blankets and spread it on the floor. She bound the shorter ends together and tied one end to her saddle. 

Urging Ali's horse to stand still close to her own, she tied the other half of the blanket to Ali's saddle, creating some kind of hammock between their horses. 

The two women lifted Tobin gently and placed her still unmoving body softly in the 'hammock'. 

They'd have to move slowly in this terrain with low hanging branches and thorny bushes, but at least they could make sure Tobin wouldn't get hurt.  
Christen mounted her horse and guided Tobin's horse at a rope along next to her. 

The way out of the forest was slow and nerve wracking. A rabbit almost gave her a heart attack, as it jumped out of a bush to her right. Luckily the horses had been well trained and stayed calm. 

*** 

"We did it!" Ali said,  
pumped her fist in the air and laughed. "God, I thought we'd die in there." 

Christen swallowed hard and looked down at Tobin. "Yeah, me too. And we would have, if not for Tobin and the archer."  
Ali wouldn't meet her eyes, as she mentioned the archer, but Christen didn't have it in her to question her Lady's maid right now. She felt emotionally drained and willed the guard to finally wake up.  
She needed to see Tobin's blinding smile again, those deep brown eyes. 

_Stop it! Tobin is strong, she'll come back to you._  
And then they would continue their journey...so she could marry the prince. 

They moved farther away from the forest and the border to LA. They didn't know if they were going in the right direction, but putting distance between them and the forest was most important now.  
The sun started to set again and both women knew, that they couldn't go any further. 

"Let's camp here?" Ali suggested, as they reached a secluded area, about 3 miles away from the forest. 

This time Christen made a fire on her own. She smiled weakly, thinking about Tobin's proud grin, as the flames started to rise.  
The guard hadn't moved at all in the last hours... 

_What if she doesn't wake up?_  
Christen sat down close to Tobin and intertwined their hands like they did in Mary's Inn. Her hand was cold. The last time Tobin's body had provided enough heat to keep Christen warm and content, but now...now the guard laid lifeless and cold next to her. Christen tightened the blanket around Tobin's body and blinked her tears away, they wouldn't help Tobin anyway. 

"Chris, you have to eat something," Ali said worriedly.  
"I'm not hungry."  
The lady's maid shook her head slowly. "I know. Me neither, but you haven't eaten all day. 

Christen sighed heavily and took the offered rice bowl, hating to let go of Tobin's hand. 

"Do you think someone followed us?" Christen asked, picking at her food. "No, wait. Let me rephrase that. Do you think someone with _bad intentions_ followed us?" 

Ali bit her lip nervously. "Chris-I. Th-that's complicated." 

Christen stared her down, fire in her eyes. "More complicated than being forced to leave everything you've known behind, to marry some guy far away? Ali goddamn it! We are in this together! You're my closest friend. How can you not trust me?!"  
She was so angry at the lady's maid, that she nearly screamed the last part of it. 

Ali got to her feet, shaking her head violently. "You think you're the only one having a hard time with this? I had just as much to lose as you, Chris! God, you're like a sister to me! It's not easy to keep anything from you!" the other woman yelled. 

Christen had never seen Ali this upset before and felt instantly bad.  
"Then don't," she said quietly and patted on the ground next to her. "Sit down and talk with me." 

Ali looked like she wanted to say no but nodded eventually and sat down next to Christen. 

"So...who is the archer?" 

“I-uh. The archer is a friend, okay? I lied to you...when I was in that courier’s office, I got a letter from this person.” 

Christen furrowed her brows in confusion. “But how could he know we’d be there?” 

“They didn’t know. Just sent the same letter to every currier's office of the towns along the way to the boarder, in the hopes one letter would get to me.” 

That sounded...weirdly romantic?  
„So you have a suitor? What's his name?” Christen asked. 

Ali gave her a small smile. “I guess- I guess you could say that. Anyway...the letter said, that the quickest way to get to Portland was right through the blackheart forest. And that-that Ash would try to find me there.” 

“Were you planning to run away together? Is that why you didn’t tell me?” Christen questioned, swallowing against the lump in her throat. Had Ali wanted to just leave her, after all this years without even saying goodbye? 

"No! Of course not! Ash wanted to follow us to Portland so we'd be able to be there together." 

"Why doesn't he just show up and come with us now? He saved us." 

"Ash...prefers to ride alone. Also, I doubt Tobin would like that." 

Although Christen thought Ali was right about Tobin, it felt like she still didn't tell her everything. "So he waited in the woods, hoping we would get there, too," Christen repeated the facts again, trying to wrap her head around this. 

"How have you met him?" It didn't sit well with her, that Ali hadn't told her about this big part of her life. She and the lady's maid had always been so close, always known each other's secrets. 

"Remember when your mom sent me to town to get her new mink cloak? Ash's dad was the hunter, who sold the fur." 

"But that was months ago!" Christen exclaimed. How had she not realized that her best friend was being courted? 

"Do you love him?"  
The question made Ali wince.  
"I-Chris it's not that simple.I-I do love Ash." 

*** 

Christen couldn't sleep. The day's events played in her mind non stop. Tobin saving her, Tobin fighting, Tobin going down.  
She scooted closer to the guard, needing to touch her solid body.  
Just as she was about to wrap her arm around Tobin, the guard moved lightly and began to stir. 

"Toby," Christen whispered and finally locked eyes again with the most beautiful brown orbs she'd ever seen. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Chapter! :D 
> 
> Thank you all for your comments and fascination with this story. When I started writing, I never thought I'd have so many amazing readers. 
> 
> Shout-out to 'no' for taking the time to write such an awesome comment! I'm trying my best :)

Tobin's POV

The first thing she felt when she woke up, was a searing pain on the right side of her body. Her shoulder!  
Memories flooded back. The men. The fight. The arrows. Christen!  
Tobin's eyes flew open and were instantly met with the princess's green ones.  
The guard looked around frantically. It was dark around them but they didn't seem to be in the blackheart forest anymore.

_Where are we?!_  
"Toby, calm down! We're safe," Christen soothed and put a hand on the guard's left shoulder, to stop her from sitting up.  
"How-what?" Tobin's mouth was so dry that she could barely speak. "W-water, please," she croaked out, coughing. 

The princess jumped to her feet and brought her some water and leftovers from supper. She curled her blanket and put it under Tobin's upper body, so she could get into an upright position. 

The guard took a long sip. "Thank you! I really needed that."

Christen smiled at her. "You should eat something. You-you've been unconscious for so long." Although her smile was bright, Tobin could see the princess's exhaustion. Her eyes were red rimmed, as if she'd been crying for hours.

_Did she cry because of me?_  
"What's going on? What happened?" Tobin asked and placed the bowl in her lap. 

Christen looked like she didn't want to relive the last few hours again. "Remember the arrows? Turns out that Ali has a suitor, who's been traveling to Portland as well. He's a hunter and was the one, who shot the arrows."  
Tobin furrowed her brows at that. "What? But why didn't she just tell you? I thought you were friends." Her words made Christen flinch. She had hit a nerve.  
"Sorry," Tobin apologized, wanting to erase the sad look on the princess's face. "But how did we get here? He isn't around, is he?"

Christen shook her head and explained how she and Ali transported Tobin in the blanket and that this mysterious Ash would rather not stick around with them.

Although Tobin was thankful, that someone had rescued them, she was glad that Ash would not tag along. She still couldn't shake the feeling that the lady's maid was hiding something. 

Once Christen had finished the story, Tobin couldn't help but grin at the princess.  
"What?" Christen asked, cheeks turning pink.  
"You're just-truly amazing, Christen Annemarie Press. I have never met a woman like you," Tobin confessed and took a few bites of the food.  
"No, I'm not!" the princess argued quietly. " I almost threw up, when Ali pulled that arrow out of your shoulder!"  
Tobin chuckled lightly. "But you didn't. You were persistent." 

Christen smiled back at her now and it felt like her smile warmed every cell in Tobin's body. 

The guard thought back to the moment right before everything faded. Christen had her arms around her aching body. She remembered the fear of not being able to protect the younger woman. Remembered, how she pulled Christen closer to reassure her, that they'd find a way out of it. The closeness of their bodies.  
Remembered, that the last thing on her mind before losing consciousness, was this woman's beautiful smile. A hand waved in front of her face and brought her back to reality. 

"Toby?"  
"Huh? I'm sorry," Tobin said and rubbed her neck.  
The princess smiled softly and laid a hand on Tobin's biceps.  
"Does it hurt badly?"

Christen's touch felt soothing.  
"It hurts like hell. But I've had it worse," the guard answered honestly, not wanting to lie. 

"Worse?" her grip around Tobin's arm tightened. 

The guard nodded and took another bite. "I thought you might have seen the large scar on my upper body, when you and Ali patched me up." 

"No, I didn't. The arrow was everything I could focus on," the princess said and bit her lower lip. "Can I-can I see it?"  
Tobin's cheeks flushed at the thought of Christen undressing her. She shouldn't think of it as a big deal. They were friends. Christen wanted to be her friend.  
_Friends don't spend the day gazing into each other's eyes._

"I just thought your clothes must be uncomfortable because of the blood anyway and that-that I could help you change them and-" the princess rambled hastily. 

"Yeah, you can see it," Tobin interrupted her gently. She set the bowl aside and took another sip of water. 

The princess helped her into a sitting position and started to open the buttons of Tobin's shirt with trembling hands. 

_Relax. It's just Christen._  
Tobin's heart was racing and she felt her body heat rise with every button the younger woman undid. The soft touch of the princess's hands wandering down her body was already too much. 

Tobin closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on her breathing.  
"Do I hurt you?" Christen whispered lowly.  
"N-no. Keep going, it's fine"  
It wasn't fine. Tobin had never felt like this before. Never craved someone's touch before and now that she knew how it felt like...

_Snap out of it, Heath! She's Henry's betrothed!_ The thought was sobering. Christen _was_ the princess of LA after all.  
The younger woman removed the shirt and grabbed Tobin's undershirt, to take it off as well. Tobin was left in only her bra now.  
The cool night air brushed against the guard's heated skin, but it was the look Christen gave her, that sent goosebumps all over her body.  
The princess's eyes were dark as she dragged her gaze down Tobin's body. 

"You...have an amazing body, Tobin," she husked, making the guard squirm.  
"Th-thanks. Uh..the scar is right here," Tobin said and shifted a bit, to give Christen a better view of the long but thin scar stretching from her hipbone all the way across her rips on the left side of her body. The princess gasped audibly.  
"Oh my god, what happened?"

Tobin sighed. She hated feeling vulnerable. But somehow she wanted to be vulnerable for this woman in front of her. She wanted to know everything about her and wanted her to know everything too. 

"When I joined the guard a few years ago, the king held a huge celebration for his daughter's 16th birthday. It was the first time I served as a royal guard and I wanted to proof myself. Wanted to honor my dad. There was a commotion with some drunkards and I jumped at the chance to show everyone that I could handle the situation. Got a hit from behind when I wasn't paying attention and fell to the ground. I-I tried to roll out of the way when one of them struck me with a sword." Tobin finished her story and looked down at the scar. She knew, she'd been lucky to survive the attack.

The princess stared at her for a moment and then started to trace along the scar with her fingertips.  
"You are so strong...and beautiful, Toby," she said and moved her fingers lower, closer to Tobin's hips.

The guard's breath hitched, as Christen drew soft patterns across the sensitive flesh. It was addictive. She couldn't tear her eyes of the princess. "Ch-Christen...I-I..you can't!" the older woman husked and bit her lip to muffle a sigh, as the hand wandered along her abs.  
"Can't what?" Their eyes met and judging from the dazed look the princess gave her, this was affecting her just as much.  
"Ca-can't touch me like this," Tobin said. "It's not-not what friends do."

Christen paused her exploration and nodded, retreating her hand.  
"You're- you're absolutely right, I'm sorry, Tobin. I just...wanted to make you feel better," she said and laughed awkwardly. 

She got a new shirt for Tobin, helping her with the buttons. And then she was close again, straightening Tobin's collar with both hands and the guard couldn't keep her distance anymore. Christen's face was so close, that she could feel her breath on her skin. Tobin leaned in and pressed a lingering kiss to the princess's cheek. Her skin was so smooth and soft.  
_You idiot!_  
"Thank you for taking care of me, Chris!" 

"A-anytime," she squeaked and touched her own cheek, like she couldn't believe what Tobin had done.  
_Because she probably can't!  
What has gotten into you! _

***

The next few days were challenging. They had already been behind the schedule, but Tobin's injury forced them to take longer breaks. The guard was slowly making some progress and was able to move without making a pained face. She still wore her arm in a sling but it got better every day. 

Ali had been taking care of cleaning and bandaging the wound after the kissing incident, but Tobin wasn't sad about it. She was drawn to the princess like a magnet and didn't know how to handle it.  
But she didn't seem to be the only one. More often than not, she caught the princess staring at her too.

"We should've arrived at the castle today," Tobin said grimly, as they took another break at a lake.  
"Not your fault," Ali replied and Christen nodded in agreement.  
The guard knew that, but her patience with herself was running thin.  
"Your wound is healing very well. I'm sure, you can use your arm again within the next few days," the lady's maid said encouragingly.

The problem was, that Tobin wasn't exactly sad about the few extra days with the princess. The thought of not being around Christen anymore made her heart ache. 

"Are you happy to be home soon?" Christen asked, as if she knew what Tobin was thinking about. "I guess," she answered evasively.  
"What about you? Excited to meet your soon-to-be husband?" 

Christens jaw clenched at Tobin's words and although Tobin was aware of Christen's reservations, she felt the desperate need to hear her say them again.  
"I don't know...from what you've told me, Henry sounds like a good man, but..."  
"But?"  
"It doesn't matter, Tobin! I don't have a choice, so I'm just trying to accept my fate."  
Ali looked back and forth between the two women, watching their exchange with interest. 

***

It took Tobin another two days to be able to move her arm again. The wound felt sore but wasn't throbbing anymore. The temperatures got colder the closer to the castle they got. Tobin shivered in front of the fire and got up to get her blanket out of the bags. The princess was already sound asleep but Ali had joined her at the fire, curled in her blanket, reading a book.

Tobin retrieved hers and wanted to go back to the lady's maid, when something on the ground caught her eyes. A piece of parchment had fallen out of Ali's bag. The guard picked it up and saw that it was one of the love letters the lady's maid had gotten. Even if it took her longer to understand all the words, Tobin's reading skills had definitely improved.

She started to read:  
_My dearest Ali,  
it's only been four days since the last time I saw you, but it feels like an eternity. I know, that the princess's birthday is approaching fast and that our time is borrowed but I also know, that our love is strong enough to find a way through this. I'm not willing to let you go! Not now, that I have finally found what's been missing my whole life. I love you. Send me a message when we can meet again and I'll be at our usual spot.  
With all my love,  
Ashlyn  
_

Tobin had to reread the letter a few times. It must've been one of the letters the lady's maid had kept. _Ashlyn?_

Ashlyn was a woman's name. Ali's suitor was a woman?! Surely Tobin had misunderstood something?

Letter clutched in her hands the guard went back to the fire.  
"Missing something?" she said and threw the paper at her feet.  
Ali looked at the letter for a second and paled. So Tobin had not been wrong...the lady's maid did have a female suitor and that's why she hadn't told Christen the truth.

"It's not what it looks like!" she said hastily.  
"Really? Because it looks like Ash is a woman," Tobin answered unimpressed. The lady's maid opened her mouth a few times to answer but then shook her head defeatedly and buried her face in her hands.  
Tobin just sat there, waiting for the other woman to recover from the shock.

"Are you in love with her?"  
Ali nodded without hesitation. "I am. So much." At least she was honest now. 

"But she's a woman! You're not supposed to fall in love with a woman," the guard argued.  
"You're one to talk! Don't believe I haven't seen the way you look at Christen!" 

Tobin felt like she'd been punched in the face. "I don't-"  
Ali shook her head again and laughed a little hysterical.  
"Don't even deny it, Tobin! I've been through this, too! I know the signs." The guard's stomach churned uncomfortably. She wasn't like Ali. Yes, she was very fond of the princess but she couldn't be in love with a woman, especially not Christen. _Too late._

"Are you going to tell Christen the truth about Ash?" Ali asked in a small voice. 

"No. It's none of my business," Tobin said and shrugged with an indifference, she didn't feel at all. 

***  
If Christen felt the tension between the guard and her lady's maid the next morning, she chose not comment on it. 

A few hours later, Portland castle was in sight. Subconsciously Tobin slowed her horse down a bit, prolonging her time with the princess. "Welcome to your new home," she said cheerfully, but her heart wasn't in it. Tobin stole a quick glance at the princess. Her mouth was slightly agape and the guard could imagine why. Portland's castle was way bigger than Christen's previous home and it sat in the middle of a bustling town, instead of a secluded area.

Tobin rode a few steps in front of the other women and greeted a guard at the castle's gate, who opened the door for them.

Once they passed the gate and were safely on the castle's grounds, Tobin's heart felt like it got ripped out of her chest. She couldn't think of the younger woman as _just_ Christen anymore. She was the princess and she had to treat her like one again. 

They stopped in front of the great hall's huge entrance. Tobin dismounted her horse and helped Christen down. The princess looked irritated by her action.  
"Tobin, I can get down on my own," she said and furrowed her brows.

"I know that, my lady. But I also know my place," she said and bowed down, her words making Christen wince.  
"Tobin- no, please don't-" She looked so sad that Tobin wanted to give in, but she couldn't. She shook her head.  
"I-I'm sorry, princess. Forgive me," Tobin pleaded quietly, closing her eyes to steady herself. 

"Tobin!" a voice behind her greeted loudly.  
_Henry..._

The guard whirled around and kneeled down.

"You may stand up," he said and grinned nervously, patting her on the back.  
"It's good to see you again, my friend! We were worried. Woah...the princess is stunning!"  
Tobin froze, hands balled into fists.  
She gave him a tight lipped smile and nodded. God, she hated the way he looked at Christen. 

Henry went past her and kissed Christen's hand in greeting. "My lady! It is a pleasure to meet you," he said with a charming smile, that made Tobin want to throw up. "I'm Henry O'Hara and I'm delighted to welcome you to Portland castle."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise? ;-)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heartbreak seems like a great motivation for my writing so I'm just gonna leave this here for you. Hope you like it!

Christen's POV

He was really nice. He was good looking and well mannered. He was the picture perfect prince, every woman would dream of. Every woman...except Christen.  
She smiled politely at him, as he introduced himself but her mind wandered to the woman, who stood in the background now. 

Christen hadn't been prepared for the hurt she'd felt when Tobin used her title again. She felt the guard distancing herself from her, as soon as they reached the castle grounds. "Nice to meet you, too" Christen answered and curtsied. She could feel Tobin's eyes on her and tried her best to ignore it. 

Ali curtsied and introduced herself as well. "Tobin, could you help Ali bring the bags up into the princess's bedroom? The one next to Kelley's room," Henry said and offered Christen his arm.  
"Shall we walk inside? I want to introduce you to my family before dinner."

The castle was beautiful, it was obvious that the O'Haras were of extraordinary wealth. Henry led them into the dining room, where the rest of the family already sat.

"Look who showed up," Henry said loudly as they entered the room. The three O'Haras saw Christen and jumped to their feet to greet her. King and queen were over the moon to finally have the princess at the castle.  
"Hi, I'm Kelley. Nice to meet you, Pressy," the youngest family member introduced herself and smirked.  
The queen gasped. "Kelley! Manners!" But Kelley seemed to be unfazed. "What? She belongs to our family now, doesn't she?" The short girl shrugged and pulled the chair next to her back.  
"I'm sure we'll be great friends."  
Christen stared at Kelley with wide eyes. Her own mother would've killed her, if she spoke like that. 

It turned out that the O'Haras were open and affectionate people. They made sure that Christen felt welcome and asked her about her life.  
"Soooo...how was the trip to Portland?" Kelley asked, not avoiding the elephant in the room anymore. "Tobito is always on time, what happened?"  
Christen imagined Tobin's grimace at the nickname and grinned inwardly.  
Four pairs of eyes were looking at her expectantly.  
"Oh-uh..." she didn't know what to say or how much she should say. Would Tobin be punished because of the delay? "We've hit some obstacles but Tobin was fabulous. The delay was not her fault," Christen explained.

"Not surprising," king Harris said with a pleased smile. "Tobin is one of the best guards this kingdom has to offer."  
Christen nodded enthusiastically and hoped she'd be off the hook.  
"My lady, would you like to join me for an evening stroll after dinner?" Henry asked full of hope.

Before Christen could answer Kelley snorted loudly.  
"You're an idiot, Henry. Pressy has _just_ arrived after traveling for weeks. Give her a break."  
"Enough now, Kelley!" king Harris said and gave his daughter a disapproving look. The prince blushed in embarrassment and Christen decided to put him out of his misery. "I would've loved that, Henry but it has been a long day for me. Maybe tomorrow?"  
His smile was back and he nodded. "Of course."  
They sat together after dinner to discuss some basic wedding preparations.  
"Sir, have you heard anything from my father, yet?" Christen asked worriedly.  
The mood at the table shifted. Something was off, that much was obvious.  
"Unfortunately not. But word from LA takes a while to get here, so do not worry about it too much."  
_Maybe I should ask Tobin about this._  
Would the guard even know? It seemed like king Harris saw some kind of confidant in Tobin. 

"Kelley, could you escort Christen to her room now? I'm sure she would like to rest."  
The shorter woman nodded and jumped up. She was certainly energetic. "C'mon Pressy! I'll show you everything!"

They went through the great hall and up the stairs, crossed a large corridor and-  
"Oh god, I'm never going to find the way back again," Christen realized bewilderedly.

Kelley smirked. "Good that your room is next to mine, then. But you can always ask the guards or servants for help." They walked down another long corridor before Kelley pointed to a door to their left. "These stairs lead up to the servants's tower. Hey, Sonnett!" 

She greeted a blonde girl by performing a complicated handshake, both women grinning from ear to ear. "Pressy, meet Emily Sonnett. Sonny, this is Christen, princess of LA" The girl's eyes widened and she curtsied quickly.  
Christen gave her a wave, enjoying the relaxed dynamic.  
"I've got to go, but it was nice to meet you, princess."

They continued their way through the castle. It was humongous. "Sonnett is our jester's daughter. Really artistic, you should see her juggle," Kelley explained. They rounded a corner and Christen's heartbeat spiked at the sight. Tobin stood in the middle of the corridor, all dressed up in a clean uniform. _Wow..._  
She was mesmerizing. The uniform fitted her perfectly.  
"Uh-Christen? Your room is this way." She pointed to the other side of the corridor, away from Tobin.

It felt wrong to move away from the guard. "Doesn't Tobin get to rest, too?" Christen asked, eyes trained on the woman she'd spent the last weeks with.

Kelley furrowed her brows. "If she's on duty now, she must've requested it. My father would not force her to take a shift right after coming back."  
_Why would she do that? She needs rest to heal._  
Christen worried her bottom lip between her teeth.  
"Everything okay?" Kelley asked incredulously.  
Christen nodded and reluctantly tore her gaze away from the guard. A bulky man stood in the doorway leading to her room.  
He bowed and let them pass.

"We're here," Kelley said cheerfully. "My room is the one on the left. Your lady's maid is just down the hall, first door on the right."

"Thank you, Kelley," Christen said sincerely.  
"Sure, no problem. Anything else you need?" She nodded, having a sudden urge to see her guard.  
"Any chance that I can get Tobin as my guard instead of a stranger?" 

Kelley's eyebrows shot up. "Yeah, I'll arrange it for you."  
The princess of Portland left her alone and Christen finally allowed herself to breathe again. She sat down on her huge new bed and took her room in. It was spacious, just like the rest of the castle. 

Although it wasn't as bad as she had anticipated, Christen felt overwhelmed and yearning for Tobin's calming presence. 

The princess got up and back into the corridor. The bulky man had disappeared but there was no sign of the other woman so she went down to Ali's and knocked.  
No answer. Christen opened the door and found the room empty.  
_Where did she go?_

"Are you all right, my lady?" Tobin's voice husked from behind her.  
Christen jumped and squeaked in surprise. "Tobin! God, you scared me!" Instead of her usual grin, the guard's face stayed blank. "Ali isn't here," she said and stated the obvious to get at least a reaction out of the other woman.  
"Mhm, she's downstairs getting to know other servants," Tobin explained and escorted the princess back to her room.  
Christen held the door open for Tobin but the guard remained where she was.

"Come in and rest, Toby," Christen offered. Tobin shook her head and took instinctively a step back. The princess felt a pang in her chest at the distance between them. "Please, Tobin. You can still protect me and at least lay down for a bit."

"I can't, my lady. I-I have my orders and I can't just break them."

Tears stung in her eyes as she heard Tobin using her title again.  
"What does it matter if you're in front of the door or behind it? Tobin, I really want to have you here with me," she tried for a very last time. 

"Is that an order, princess?"

"That's all you can do, isn't it? Following orders?" She whispered quietly and let her tears fall freely.

Something in Tobin's eyes flickered and she raised her hand, as if she wanted to reach out to brush the tears away, but seemed to realize what she was about to do and pulled her arm back quickly. 

Christen couldn't stand this anymore. She turned around and went back into her room. Before the door snapped shut, Tobin spoke again and this time her words were full of emotion: "I'm sorry, Christen."

The princess sank to the floor, leaning against the door as she sobbed. Ever since Sterling town Christen had been _so_ sure that she and Tobin would be able to spend time together and that Tobin would see more in her, than just the future queen of her kingdom.  
_Why does this hurt so much?  
_

***  
A loud, rhythmic drumming pattern on the door startled Christen awake.  
Kelley O'Hara burst into her room. "Good morning Pressy!" she exclaimed and grinned. "Breakfast time."

Christen sat at the edge of her bed, feeling like she'd been punched in the face. And apparently she also looked like that.  
"Woah, what happened to your face?"  
Christen rubbed her eyes. They were still lightly swollen. "N-nothing..I was just-"  
Kelley sat down next to her. "Hey, I know my brother is not exactly a dream coming true," she joked. "But once you get to know him, he's kind of okay."  
Christen gave her a small but genuine smile. "What a fierce and passionate speech in your brother's favor, thanks Kelley."

They moved back to the entrance hall. Christen admired the easy way Kelley seemed to get along with the servants and subjects.  
"Can I ask you something?"  
"Sure."  
"Don't take this the wrong way, but don't you get in trouble for your-uh-free spirited behavior?" Back home none of the women would've dared to act like she did.

"The perks of not being the heir of your kingdom. I do have obligations, but my boundaries are not as set as yours or Henry's. Now that I think of it, it's a pity I'm not the first born and the one to marry you. I'm obviously a catch."  
Christen shook her head at Kelley's antics. The princess of Portland was definitely a good distraction from the heartache she has felt since they've reached the castle.

"Good morning, my lady," Henry greeted her as they got into the dining room. Christen greeted him, while Kelley rolled her eyes. "Good morning to you too, dearest brother."  
Christen snickered and greeted the king and queen who had just entered the room.  
"How was the first night? Did you sleep well?" Queen Eliza asked her.  
"Oh, it was fine. My room is wonderful, so is the bed," Christen said politely.  
The queen seemed satisfied with her answer. "Of course, Christen. We thought once you and Henry are married the room would make an excellent nursery."

Only her mother's stern training of always keeping her composure prevented Christen from choking at the queen's words. 

"Mother, I think it's still a little early to talk about children," Henry said, ears red. 

"Nonsense! The wedding will already be in 10 days!"

A loud noise came out of the hall and a pale Tobin poked her head through the door. "My apologies for the interruption, an amour fell down. I'll fix it immediately." She spoke and avoided any eye contact with Christen, hastily leaving the room again.

Henry rubbed the stubble on his chin. "How about that stroll today? I could show you around the castle grounds?"

Christen was still thinking about the guard. She had been as white as a ghost. Was she okay? Was it the injury?  
"Pressy." Kelley poked her in the rips to get her attention back. "I'm sorry. Yes, I would love for you to show me around," she said and tried to feel excited at the prospect of spending more time with him. 

"Kelley, you're going to accompany them," king Harris said. "As a chaperone."

"What?!" both O'Hara siblings gasped simultaneously. 

"Why me?" Kelley whined and Henry said: "A chaperone won't necessary, father."

King Harris lifted his hand peremptorily and their protest died down.  
"You know the rules."

***

The sun was shining brightly outside. It was still colder than Christen was used to but she enjoyed the sun nonetheless.  
The three of them left the castle, Kelley grumbling. "Okay, no awkward courting behavior under my watch."  
"Shut up, Kelley!" Henry turned to Christen, who watched their bickering with a grin. "I'm so sorry for her, Christen. I really want to get to know you," he said earnest and kissed her hand again.

"Ugh, you know what, go ahead. I'll stay in sight but I don't want to witness this." Kelley said, shook her head and went to an old oak tree, sitting down beneath it to relax in the shades. 

Christen felt uneasy as she saw Kelley leave. It wasn't that Henry was an unpleasant person, it just seemed to be so forced between them. _Give him a chance at least._  
So she did. They talked about their royal responsibilities and what they'd like to do for fun and Christen actually found Henry to be a very charming, intelligent man.  
"I'm also a very skilled archer," the prince said proudly. "Still not as good as Tobin, but I doubt anyone is."  
_Tobin..._  
Christen gave him a noncommittal "Mhmm."  
His smile faltered. "You don't like archery?"  
"I don't know, I've never done it," the princess said and Henry's eyebrows shot up.  
"Yeah, why would you, my lady? It's not suitable for someone petite like you. I meant watching."

Rage and sadness hit Christen at the same time. She closed her eyes to keep her temper in check.  
_Right. A princess wouldn't do that. I'm just something pretty to look at._  
Her thoughts went back to Tobin. Tobin, who had not hesitated to teach her what she had wanted to learn and who now treated her exactly the way Henry just did.

***

Christen wasn't feeling well and couldn't bear the thought of talking about the upcoming wedding ceremony today.  
"I'm sorry to hear that, dear," Eliza said motherly. The queen postponed the chat to the next day and Kelley brought her back up to her room. "Feel better soon, Pressy. If you need me, I'm probably with Sonnett." 

The princess laid on her bed, staring into space. She felt empty. After a while she pulled her books out, trying to distract herself. A piece of parchment fell out of the bag. It was the one Tobin had practiced on. Sobs wrecked her body as she looked at the last word the guard had written in clear handwriting. _Toby_

Christen curled herself up in a ball, wanting to go back in time to Mary's Inn, comfortably cuddled into Tobin's side. She closed her burning eyes and drifted into a restless sleep. 

A quiet knock pulled Christen out of her slumber. She padded to the door and opened it just a crack, not wanting anyone to see her bleary eyes.  
"Tobin...what are you doing here?" the princess asked hoarsely, opening the door wider. Tobin stood a little straighter.  
"Uh-Henry has sent me to ask you, if you'd like to join him during his archery training tomorrow."  
"Oh." _Right, of course she isn't here for you. She's only here to fulfill her duty._  
Christen nodded, wondering how much more pain she could feel because of this woman in front of her. 

She tried to close the door but Tobin's hand stopped it. "Wait! That's not the only reason I'm here for."  
Christen grimaced, hot anger pumping through her veins. "What? More messages to deliver?"  
The guard pushed the door open. "Just one: It hurts me too, Chris," Tobin said sincerely.  
Christen scoffed. "Oh, now I'm Chris again? Not just the princess?"

Tobin seemed to have an inner conflict. "No! You-you have always been Chris for me...in here." She put her hand over her heart. "I want to be part of your life, Christen. I just-I don't know how."

Something inside Christen snapped. All the emotions she'd tried to shovel down came back up at Tobin's words. She grabbed the guard's collar impulsively and tugged the other woman's body closer to hers. "You're an idiot," she breathed and pulled the guard into a fiery kiss.

Both women gasped when their lips met for the first time. Heat rushed through Christen's body as Tobin's full lips moved hotly against hers, the guard's hands coming to rest on Christen's hips, pulling her tightly against Tobin. Christen couldn't suppress a moan at the feeling, tangling her hands in Tobin's hair. God, she had never felt anything like this before. Her body was on fire, wanting Tobin closer...her tongue licked over the guard's lips, who allowed her to deepen the kiss.  
Tobin's tongue slid against hers, licking into her mouth. _Oh lord._ This was heaven. Tobin's kiss made her knees weak but the guard's strong hands held her upright.  
Christen couldn't get enough of her, all senses were filled with Tobin. Her warmth, her smell, her mouth, her hands...

Loud laughter came from the staircase, causing them to break apart immediately.  
Tobin backed away against the opposite wall, panting. The guard ran her hand through her tousled hair, staring wide eyed at the princess. Christen stood glued to the spot in the doorway, breathing heavily. She didn't know what to say or what to do. The voices approaching them grew louder. 

"I-I have to go," the guard said distressed, gaze flickering to the staircase.  
"Tobin..I-"  
The guard shook her head. "I can't stay." She licked her swollen lips and gave her one of her signature smiles that accelerated Christen's heartbeat even more.  
"You're so much more than just a princess to me. I promise, Chris," the guard said honestly and ran off down the corridor and away from the voices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops.  
> Coming up next:  
> What made Tobin show up at Christen's door


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all of your support and comments. It brightens up the quarantine a lot!  
> Hope this does the same for you guys. 
> 
> This time we're filling in the blanks what happened to Tobin. 
> 
> Enjoy and stay safe!

Tobin's POV

She nodded numbly at Henry's request to bring the bags upstairs. Prince and princess left them arm in arm and Tobin felt like she'd been shot with an arrow all over again.

"Well, they certainly look good together," Ali said as she detached Christen's bags from the horse. Tobin grimaced at her words.  
"You know, for someone who's not feeling anything for her, you seem rather jealous," the lady's maid said in a light tone.  
"I'm not jealous," Tobin denied scowling. "Let's get the bags upstairs." 

On the way up, she explained where servants ate together and how every servant lived in the castle and not just the more privileged ones. The guard tried to get her mind off the princess, who was probably looking at Henry's stupid smiling face right now.  
_Stop thinking like this! Henry is your friend. He is a good person._ Would he make her happy though? 

"The castle is really beautiful," Ali said as they reached the top floor, that gave them a nice view of the surrounding area. "Why haven't you mentioned all of this before, when we asked you about Portland? I would've felt better, knowing that servants get a more respectful treatment than in LA."  
"I guess, I didn't think too much about Portland," Tobin sighed and lead her to the princess's room. 

They put the baggage down and Ali gave Tobin's shoulder a light squeeze. "Hey, if you need to talk...I'm here, okay?"  
The guard nodded and gave her a tight smile. "Thanks, Ali."  
She showed Ali her own room and to say the lady's maid was delighted, would be an understatement. "Oh my god, it's so big! This room is as big as Christen's was in LA."

"Glad you like it," Tobin said without enthusiasm. "I guess the O'Haras wanted you both to feel welcome. My room isn't even half this size."

One of the fellow guards knocked on the door. "Tobin?! Are you in there? King Harris wants to see you!" Tobin opened it and saw Jason, one of the guard's she had started her training with.  
"I'm on my way. Thanks, Jas."  
She gave Ali a nod and went downstairs, hoping that she didn't have to see Christen and Henry together again.

The door to the dining room opened, just as Tobin reached the bottom of the stairs. Christen and Kelley came out, Kelley explaining something, excitedly waving with her hands. Tobin ducked down and slid into the next broom closet.  
_Pathetic._  
The voices began to fade so Tobin strode quickly into the dining room.

"You wanted to see me, sir?" she asked loudly, waiting in the doorframe.  
King, queen and prince all smiled at her. "Come in and take a seat, Tobin." 

"How was the trip?" King Harris asked and Tobin instantly felt uneasy. What had Christen told them?  
"Rather uneventful," Tobin said curtly.  
King Harris raised his brows.  
"Why have you been late, then?"  
Tobin's face remained unreadable, just as she had learned in her years as a royal guard. "We had an incident with some separatists," she explained, not wanting to go into details. 

"The princess said that you handled everything extraordinarily well. I'm very proud of you, Tobin," the king praised and stood. "Your father would be very proud, too. You do him justice."  
_No, I don't..._  
"What do you think about the princess?" The queen asked and Henry's ears perked up at her question, obviously interested in her answer. "Is she good enough for our Henry?"

_Good enough?!_  
"I-uh...the princess is one of the kindest women I've ever met, Eliza. If you ask me, anyone would be lucky to court her."  
The queen's eyes lit up. "And she is such a beauty! Those two will have beautiful babies."  
Tobin's chest tightened at the thought. She took a deep breath, trying to fill her lungs with air.

"Mother!" Henry said and blushed.  
He definitely wasn't ready to raise a child. Tobin knew that he was still terrified at the prospect, but now that he'd met Christen, his reservations had lessened.  
"You deserve some time off, Tobin," the king said and stood. Tobin took the hint and stood up as well.

"Although that's a gracious offer, I'd like to get right back on duty."

King Harris laughed. "Just like your father, I swear! Go ahead then. Take the west wing for the night shift."

***

She'd been so sure that Kelley and Christen would already be in their rooms, that she was caught off guard when she saw them again.

Christen seemed to feel the same way. She just stood there, rooted to the spot, staring at her.  
_She looks sad._  
Tobin focused on the shadows that the flickering torch light created and waited for them to leave.  
She couldn't hear what they were talking about but was glad when she heard their footsteps moving away. 

The wound started to throb again and Tobin wondered if she should've just taken the king up on his offer to rest. "Tobin!" Kelley came marching down the hall. "Christen wants you to guard her door tonight."  
The guard blinked in surprise. "Really?"  
Kelley quirked an eyebrow. "Yeah. Guess she needs someone familiar around and not Eric. She looked at him, as if he'd got three heads. My dad's plan to impress her by sending him apparently failed," the princess smirked. Eric was the largest man of the royal guard. 7 ft tall, bulky and uncommunicative, he had the fitting nickname "bear".  
Tobin chuckled weakly at Kelley's words and was about to head to the other side of the west wing, when Kelley's hand on her arm stopped her.

Pain radiated from her injury. Tobin gritted her teeth to suppress a yelp.  
"You've been tense all day. Are you okay?" Kelley asked genuinely.  
"Sure, all good. I'm gonna go to Chr-the princess now." 

***

She found Christen standing in the hallway in front of Ali's door.  
"Are you all right, my lady?" Tobin asked and hated herself for it.  
The princess spun around and squeaked in surprise. Although Tobin considered the castle a safe place, she'd feel better, if she knew that Christen was safely in her room again. Christen asked about Ali and Tobin tried to keep her answer short. 

She needed to stay away from Christen or she might go insane but the princess had other plans. "Come in and rest, Toby," she said and Tobin had to swallow the lump in her throat, taking a step back to be out of reach.  
"I can't, my lady. I-I have my orders and I can't just break them."

The princess didn't give up easily, so Tobin said the one thing, she knew would hurt Christen enough to make her stop.  
"Is that an order, princess?" Christen looked like she'd been slapped. 

"That's all you can do, isn't it? Following orders?" There was no bite in her words.  
_I wish it was like that...it wouldn't hurt so much._

Tears streamed down Christen's beautiful face and everything in Tobin wanted to reach out and pull her into a hug. Wanted to tell her how much she meant to her.  
_And just how much is that?_  
"I'm sorry, Christen," Tobin murmured as the princess closed the door on her.  
Tobin sucked in a deep breath to calm down but it wasn't working. She leaned her head against the door, breathing hard. The guard could hear Christen's sobs through the door and pressed closer, wanting the barrier to disappear. Every sob tugged on Tobin's heartstrings. She wiped her own tears away angrily. Tobin didn't know how long she stood there, ears tightly pressed to the princess's door but when Ali showed up she didn't even try to hide her puffy eyes.

"Tobin! What-? Are you okay?" the lady's maid asked worriedly and rushed to the guard, who just shook her head and pointed at the door, bottom lip trembling.  
Ali leaned closer to the door and her eyes widened, hearing Christen's broken sobs drifting through the wood.  
"What happened?" She demanded, fixating Tobin with a glare. "Why are you both crying?"  
Who knew Ali could pull of such a death glare. The guard backed away from her.  
"She-she wanted me to stay with her....and to stop treating her as a princess."  
Ali's eyes narrowed. "Well, why don't you? Not officially of course, but when you're alone?"

"I can't, Ali...I," Tobin buried her face in her hands. "It broke my heart to see her with Henry today."  
"Because...?" The lady's maid pressed on. 

"Because I-I'm in love with her," the guard finally admitted. Tobin felt instantly lighter, now that she'd said it out loud. The lady's maid pulled her into a quick but warm embrace before listening at the door again.  
"It's quiet now," she said and gave Tobin a small smile. "I...might have misjudged the situation."

The guard wanted to ask what Ali was talking about, but the lady's maid's eyes were glued to a blonde woman, who just came out of the staircase. "Ash," she whispered like she couldn't believe it before running towards her, jumping into her arms. The blonde twirled her around, grinning from ear to ear. They looked so in love with each other, that Tobin had a hard time to think of their relationship as wrong. It just looked...natural.

"Oh my god, Ash! What are you doing here?" Ali squealed and pecked her lips. The blonde threw a worried glance at Tobin, who only stood about ten feet away, staring at them. Ali smiled brightly. "It's okay, she knows about us. I've missed you so much!"  
"I missed you too!" They linked their hands together, still looking at each other with so much love and adoration that it took Tobin's breath away.

"How did you get in here?" Ali asked amazed. Ash grinned, pleased with herself. "I work here. The king hired me as a cook."  
Both, Ali and Tobin, looked at her in astonishment.  
"You-you mean we'll be together in the same castle. We get to see each other every day?" The lady's maid asked full of hope.  
"Yes! Told you I'd find a way for us to be together, didn't I?"  
Laughing happily Ali flung her arms around Ash's neck again.  
"I love you!"  
"I love you, too!"  
The lady's maid intertwined her hand with Ashlyn's left.  
The blonde smiled blissfully and turned to Tobin, who leaned against the wall.  
"Hi, I'm Ash," she introduced herself and stretched her free hand out. The guard took it and nodded politely. "Tobin. Thanks for helping us in the blackheart forest." She meant it. Without Ashlyn they would've probably died in there.

"How far away were you?"  
"About 100 yards, I'd say," the huntress said thoughtfully.  
Tobin gave her an impressed look. "On the horse?"  
"Yeah," Ash smirked again.  
"We should compete against each other sometime," Tobin said, exited at the prospect of a good competition. "Sure, if you wanna lose." The guard rolled her eyes.

"Soo...Ash and I are going to bed now. Chin up, Tobin. It's going to be okay," Ali said and gave her a another hug. Tobin couldn't speak, she didn't want her voice to crack and nodded slowly. 

"Goodnight."  
They disappeared into Ali's room and left the overwhelmed guard alone in the corridor.  
The next few hours dragged on and gave her enough time to think. Tobin had never seen two women kiss or share such an emotional moment. It had seemed _so_ normal. 

***  
Tobin stretched her aching muscles as she went down into the entrance hall. She'd grab something to eat and head into her room to catch up on some sleep. At least that had been the plan. King and queen had just entered the royal dining room, not shutting the door behind them. Tobin looked around, the entrance hall was empty. She tiptoed closer to the door and bent down close to an armor, pretending to retie her boots. 

The queen's loud and somewhat stern voice drifted into the hall. "Nonsense! The wedding will already be in 10 days!"  
Tobin's stomach dropped.  
_10 days...Christen would become Henry's wife in 10 days._  
Knowing just how close the wedding was, raised her anxiety to a new level. Tobin stood up on shaky legs, her brain foggy. Her head collided with the armor's arm, causing it to fall to the floor with a loud rattle.  
_Shit!_

Steeling herself, the guard poked her head inside the room and apologized for the mess. She avoided looking into Christen's direction, too scared she'd break down, if she found a pair of disappointed green eyes again. "I'll fix it immediately." She said and left the room, closing the door behind her. 

Her hands shook as she collected the metal parts from the ground.  
"Need some help?" a familiar voice asked and someone kneeled down next to her. Ashlyn, still wearing an apron, crouched down and picked up the last remaining pieces off the ground.  
"Woah, you're shaking!" They repaired the amor quickly together. "Come on, let's go to the kitchen, you need to eat something." She put her arm around Tobin's shoulder and lead her to the kitchen, dismissing the guard's weak protests. 

Luckily the kitchen was completely empty at this time of the day. The cooks would return a few hours before dinner, enjoying their downtime until then. "Here, eat something. Bet you didn't eat much yesterday." Ashlyn handed her a plate with scrambled eggs.  
"Thanks," the guard said and tried to eat a few bites. She didn't feel hungry anymore.

"Tell me about her," the huntress said calmly.  
"I-I don't know what you're talking about," Tobin said unconvincingly.  
Ashlyn rolled her eyes. "Riiiight. Listen, Tobin. I've been through this denial as well. It took me a while to accept my feelings, too. It. Is. Not. A. Sin."

Tobin winced. "It is, if the woman I love is going to marry someone else in 10 days," she said distressed. Ashlyn's head snapped up. "You're in love with the princess?!"  
"Ali didn't tell you?"  
The huntress shook her head.  
"I can't stop her from marrying him anyway," Tobin said defeatedly. "Her friendship is all I can hope for and I might've fucked that one up as well."  
The blonde raised her brows. "Well, fix it, then!"

***  
Sleep didn't come easy to her. Although she'd been awake the whole night and her body felt exhausted, her mind wandered back to the princess. Christen would get married in 10 days, but what happened afterwards? Her feelings for her were real and Tobin doubted they would go away just because Christen had a husband. But she couldn't avoid talking to the princess forever. Maybe Ashlyn was right. Maybe she should try to apologize and try to be Christen's friend again. Having the other woman in her life _was_ worth the pain.

"Tobs!" Henry's voice dragged Tobin out of her sleepy thoughts. She shuffled to the door. "Henry, what's up?"  
The prince stood in front of her, kneading his hands nervously.  
"Hey! I was wondering, if you could go upstairs and ask Christen if she'd want to join me for archery practice tomorrow?"  
Tobin groaned inwardly.  
_Why did he have to come to me for this?!_

"You guys are friends, right? I thought...perhaps you could also ask her, if she uh-likes me so far," he said, looking so hopeful that she nodded.  
"Thanks, Tobs! You're the best!" He went away with a slight spring in his step, leaving the guard torn between the woman she loved and the boy she'd considered family for years.

***  
Tobin knocked on the princess's door. Her palms were sweaty and her heart hammered in her chest as she waited for Christen to open the door.  
"Tobin...what are you doing here"  
_God, she looks so tired._  
"Uh-Henry has sent me to ask you, if you'd like to join him during his archery training tomorrow," Tobin said, getting her task out of the way first.  
"Oh."  
Hurt flickered over the younger woman's face again and Tobin wanted to slap herself for being the cause of it. Before the princess could close the door on her to shut her out, she quickly stretched her arm out, bracing herself against it.  
"Wait! That's not the only reason I'm here for," Tobin said hastily, trying to order her thoughts. 

Christen's frustration was palpable now. "What? More messages to deliver?"

Tobin pressed harder against the door, she needed Christen to really look at her. "Just one: It hurts me too, Chris."  
Of course the princess called her out on using her nickname. _Time to open up._  
"You-you have always been Chris for me...in here," Tobin said, coming dangerously close to the truth, as she laid her hand on her heart. "I want to be part of your life, Christen. I just-I don't know how," she finished, meaning every word she said. She gulped at the look on the princess's face, who suddenly grabbed Tobin's collar in a death grip, pulling her closer. 

"You're an idiot," Christen said and Tobin was ready to agree with her, when the princess closed the gap between them and kissed her. The feeling of Christen's soft lips on hers made her gasp. Her body on autopilot, their lips moving perfectly in sync.  
_Oh god. Yes!_  
Christen's tongue slid softly along her bottom lip and Tobin knew she was a goner. Nothing had ever made her heart race like Christen Press. The guard gripped her waist tighter, holding her even closer, as the princess moaned into her mouth. God, she never wanted this feeling to end!

Laughter brought her back to reality. She stumbled backwards against the solid wall, putting some distance between them.  
Tobin couldn't tear her gaze away from the princess's flushed face, her kiss swollen lips and bright eyes. God, she wanted to do it all over again but the voices got louder. _Shit!_  
"I-I have to go," Tobin said reluctantly.  
"Tobin...I-"

Whatever Christen had to say needed to wait. She could already hear the footsteps and shook her head hastily. The princess looked so unsettled that Tobin flashed her a reassuring smile.  
"You're so much more than just a princess to me. I promise, Chris."

She ran off before someone could see them together and didn't stop until she had at least two floors between them.  
What the hell just happened? Did Christen feel the same way? Tobin couldn't stop grinning, at least until she rounded a corner, walking straight into Henry. 

"Tobin! Did you talk to Christen?"  
"Yeah-I-I did," she said quickly.  
"And? Does she want to join me tomorrow?"  
_Damn it! I've kissed his betrothed._  
"Yes, she...uh...would love to join you."  
"Great! Did you ask her...about me?" he asked slowly and Tobin shook her head as if she wanted to shoo a fly away. "No, she-she didn't feel well and I didn't want to bother her," she lied uneasily.  
The prince nodded in understanding. "I see. Are you gonna train tomorrow, too?"

Tobin forced a grin, trying to act normal. "Why? Scared I'll give you a run for your money again?"  
Henry laughed and patted her back. "I'm really glad you're back again, Tobs."  
Her gut twisted uncomfortably at his words.

Back in her quarters, Tobin paced back and forth. She desperately wanted to talk to Ali or Ashlyn but it was already late and would raise suspicions.  
"Fuck!" She swore furiously and punched against the wall. The skin on her left hand split open at the force of impact. Why did this have to be so complicated?!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful people,  
> I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. Please let me know what you think!
> 
> Again..thank you all so much for your comments, kudos and subscriptions! :)

Tobin's POV

The next morning couldn't come soon enough for Tobin. She'd slept for what felt like two hours and made her way downstairs into the already busy kitchen. Cooks were chopping fruit and preparing bread dough. 

She looked around and found Ash at a table, expertly forming bread loafs. The guard sat down next to her "I need to talk to you. Alone," she said instead of a greeting.  
"Okay. I'll be out in 10 mins."  
"Thanks!" Tobin appreciated that the huntress didn't question her sudden need to talk and simply agreed. 

True to her word, Ashlyn came out of the kitchen about ten minutes later, carrying two apples. "Let's take a walk?" She suggested and handed Tobin one of them.  
They barely made it out of the large gate when the guard lost it. "We kissed!" Tobin blurted out, cheeks flushed. 

Ashlyn, who had just taken a bite of her apple started to cough as it almost went down the wrong pipe. "Wh-what?! You kissed her?"  
"Yes! Well-no. She kissed me. I went to apologize yesterday and then she...just-uh did it," Tobin finished lamely.  
"Wow. I didn't see that coming. So...how was it?" Ashlyn smirked. 

Tobin's blush only intensified.  
"That good, huh? What are you gonna do about it?"  
Tobin sighed depressed.  
"Nothing...I can't. There is too much on the line."

Ashlyn looked at her with an unreadable expression. "I see...so you're friends?"  
Were they friends? Could they be friends? Tobin's body ached for Christen. Would the princess want more?  
"I...don't know. We didn't have the chance to talk about it," the guard said uncertainly.  
The huntress shook her head smiling. "Maybe you should talk about it, then. Especially with the wedding in nine days."

_Nine days..._  
That brought something else to Tobin's mind. "What about the Press family? They should be here for the wedding, shouldn't they? As far as I know, they didn't reach out to the king again. Have you heard something?"

"I feel like they want to get this over with as fast as possible and sign the contracts," Ash said, confirming Tobin's suspicions. "I've heard some of the maids say, that the O'Haras are planning the wedding without their attendance." 

"Christen will be devastated, if her family is not here for the wedding." Tobin's hand gripped the apple tightly, squishing it.  
"Hey, easy my friend!" Ash said, rubbing apple juice off her sleeve.  
"I need to go back to the kitchen, we'll catch up later, okay?"

***

Tobin had hoped to talk with Christen before Henry's training session but the king had other plans. He ordered his most trusted guards to an extraordinary meeting.  
"As you all know the wedding of my son and Christen of LA is approaching. To honor their bond, I want celebrate with our subjects," king Harris told them. Tobin furrowed her brows, slightly irritated. A celebration so close to the actual wedding? It meant they'd have to reinforce the royal guard and it would be stressful for everyone involved. 

"It's going to be exactly what this kingdom needs," the king said with conviction. "Heath, stay! The rest is dismissed!"  
Tobin nodded and watched as the others left the room. King Harris sat down into his huge throne, rubbing his temples.  
"Tobin, I need you to stay close to the princess at all times," he said gravely. "Not just during the celebration but at all times from now on!"  
_Had Christen made this request?_  
"You look worried, your majesty," Tobin stated. "Is there something I can do?"  
King Harris smiled in appreciation. "Thank you, Tobin. Sometimes I wish your father was still here and that I could lean on him for advice."  
King Harris had been about Henry's age when he had taken over the responsibilities of the crown and Tobin knew he had relied on her father a lot.

"Well, you have me, sir. I might not be my father but-"  
"I trust you unconditionally, Tobin. It's the main reason you're here, getting this assignment." He sighed deeply and the guard wondered, if she should probe some more.  
"Sir, what's going on?" She asked, going for a direct approach, coming straight to the point.

"I...have it on good authority that we have...an assassin among us."  
"Someone here wants to kill Christen?" Tobin was so upset, she didn't even try to cover her slip up but the king had either not noticed it or chose not to commend on it. Damn it! She had thought Christen would be safe within the castle's walls.

"Yes," he confirmed. "I don't have to tell you just how important this wedding is. We have to make sure the princess is safe."  
Tobin balled her hands into fists. "I'd give my life to protect her!"

The king nodded and Tobin had a feeling that he wanted to dismiss her.  
"What do I tell her?" she asked, knowing that Christen would certainly notice it, if she'll stay closer.  
King Harris looked out of the windows, lost in thought. "I don't want her to worry. Friends spend time together, don't they?" he said and smiled conspiratorial. Tobin clenched her jaw and nodded. 

She felt conflicted. Her loyalty was with the king and she did not want to disobey his orders but she couldn't just lie to the princess again. Tobin was done with lying to her and the king's suggestion wouldn't be enough to satisfy Christen anyway.

As if her life hadn't already been complicated enough. Now she had to look out for an assassin, while constantly being around Christen.  
Yep, she was screwed.  
_Get it together, Heath! Push your feelings away and concentrate on the job!_

What she didn't think about, was that being at Christen's side also meant having to endure watching the courtship. 

***  
"Didn't think, I'd ever see Tobin Heath being the chaperone for my brother," Kelley said, smirking as she saw the guard approach the archery range.  
Tobin scowled. "I can guarantee you, I'm not here because I want to be."  
Kelley patted her on her back and laughed. "I know. Father told me that you'd take over my task. It's gonna be so _awful_ ," she said, eyes full of glee. "Have fun, Tobito," the princess of Portland said and left Tobin alone at the range, waiting for Henry and Christen to arrive. 

She didn't have to wait long. Arms linked together, they walked the 400 yards from the castle to the range. Both of them smiled as they saw who'd be the chaperone today.  
"Tobs! No wonder my sister was in such a good mood. So good to see you. Will you train with me?" Henry asked, excited that Kelley would not be around to make fun of him.

The guard flexed her arm, it felt better but still not at 100 percent. "Maybe later. For now, I'll just watch," she said and leaned against a wooden railing. The prince nodded and let go of Christen. "Hope you'll enjoy the show, my lady," he said confidently and grinned at her.  
"Oh, I can't wait," the princess answered, smiling sweetly. 

Henry went into the range, placed some apples on a hay roll and put up some targets. "Hi," Christen said quietly, leaning against the railing, close to Tobin while watching Henry work.  
"Hi, Chris," the guard whispered back hoarsely and forced herself not to steal a glance at the beautiful woman next to her.  
"C-can we talk when this is done?"  
Tobin said nervously and fiddled with her sheath. The princess sighed. "It's fine, Tobin. We don't have to talk about it. It was in the heat of the moment and-"  
Tobin's eyes widened. "No! No, that wasn't what I wanted to-I mean-uh we should probably talk about that, too but I meant something else," she rambled on. 

A fond smile spread across Christen's face. She reached for Tobin's hand on the railing and gave it a reassuring squeeze. It would've been nice, if it weren't Tobin's bruised left hand. "Ouch," the guard whimpered.  
Christen looked down at the guard's hand.  
"What happened to your hand?"  
"Uh-" Fortunately Henry came to her rescue. The prince jogged up to where they stood. 

"Christen, would you do me the honor and join me in the range? I'd love to get to know you better."  
The princess gave Tobin a "this conversation isn't over" look and took Henry's outstretched hand.  
Leaning back against the railing, Tobin watched as the prince tried to explain what he was about to do. He made a show of getting into position, aiming for the first target. The first arrow shot through the air, hitting one of the outer rings. The prince made a face and squared his shoulders.  
"I swear, I can do better," Tobin heard him say in embarrassment. When Christen touched his arm lightly, telling him that she was certain the next one would be better, Tobin felt like throwing up again.

"Relax, she's not into him," Ash said from behind, leaning her elbows on the railing.  
"Yeah, no need for the death glare," Ali agreed with her and stood on Tobin's other side.  
The guard looked back and forth between the two women and sighed. "I didn't mean to glare. What are you even doing here?"

"Well," Ashlyn drawled, mustering Henry's moves with interest. "It's a beautiful day and I really wanted to see, if our prince is any good."  
Right in that moment Henry hit the target, scoring a seven. Christen clapped. Getting more confident, Henry aimed at an apple.  
Ashlyn shook her head and chuckled. "Does he know that he's holding the bow wrong?" 

Tobin bit her lip to stop herself from grinning. She'd told the prince so many times during practice, but he insisted that his way worked better. Henry missed the apple by a few inches.  
"Ash, I can almost feel your fingers itching," Tobin teased the huntress lightly, making both women laugh. 

They watched Henry slowly improving until he finally hit an apple. Christen cheered for him and pulled him into a hug.  
Tobin's hands gripped the railing hard, making the wood creak.  
"Wow you're really jealous," the lady's maid stated.  
"I....don't want to be jealous, I swear! I know it isn't my place...but seeing her with him...knowing that I-I'll never..." her voice broke.  
_Damn it!_  
Tobin had always prided herself to be calm and in control but this control more and more seemed to slip away. 

"Well, to soothe your worries: She's bored. I can tell, because that is the same expression she's had during our afternoon tea sessions with the Duchess of Washington," Ali explained. 

"Thanks, Ali," Tobin said, grateful for this piece of information. Now that she looked closely at Christen, she saw that even though the princess smiled, it didn't quite reach her eyes.  
_Why doesn't he let her try it? It's certainly more interesting than just standing around watching him putting on a show._

"There is something I need to tell you," Tobin said suddenly. Both woman turned to look at her. "The king believes there is an assassin among us who wants to kill Christen."  
The guard knew that Ash and Ali were trustworthy. If they had wanted to kill Christen, they would've had several chances along the way and Tobin felt better at the thought of two more people looking out for the princess.  
Ash was the first to respond. "Thank you for your trust. I assume she doesn't know that, yet?"  
The guard shook her head. "I'm actually not allowed to tell her-"

"She needs to be aware of the danger!" Ali interrupted her in a stern voice.

"I know. I'll talk to her about this later. I will not lie to her anymore," the guard said honestly.  
"Speaking of lies....are you going to tell her about your mysterious lover, Ali?"

The lady's maid bit her lip, thinking about it. "I don't know...maybe now isn't the right moment."  
Tobin doubted that there would be a right moment but it wasn't her choice to make. 

Prince and princess walked towards them. "Good afternoon, ladies," he greeted politely. Both women curtsied dutifully.  
"Tobs, can you put the things back in? I didn't realize how late it was. My dad wants to go over some wedding arrangements with me," Henry said and rolled his eyes. Tobin nodded curtly.  
"My lady, would you like to accompany me back to the castle?"  
The princess gave him an apologetic look. "Actually, I'd rather stay outside and enjoy the sun some more."  
"I understand. Portland's weather is probably something you'll have to get used to. Enjoy the sun as much as you can." He kissed her hand and left.

Ashlyn cleared her throat. "I don't think we've met before, your highness. I'm Ashlyn," she introduced herself curtsying for Christen as well.  
"Nice to meet you," the princess said friendly. Tobin studied their interaction, but the princess didn't seem to make the connection. 

"I need to get back and prepare the food for dinner," Ashlyn said and threw Tobin a meaningful glance. The lady's maid excused herself as well, leaving the guard alone with Christen but not without giving her a thumps up behind Christen's back. 

"So...you wanted to talk?" Christen finally broke the awkward silence between them.  
"Yeah. It seems like we'll be spending more time together the next few days," Tobin began to explain. "The king doesn't want me to tell you this...but you're still in danger, Christen. An assassin is among us. They want to kill you."

The princess took a few steps back at Tobin's words. "Why are you telling me this?" she asked, voice shaking a little. Biting her lip, Tobin approached her softly, taking Christen's hands into her own.  
"Because you deserve to know this, Chris. I'm not lying to you anymore," she said earnest and the princess's grip around her fingers tightened.  
"Thank you," the princess whispered softly and threw her arms around Tobin's neck, holding the stunned guard close. She brought her lips to Tobin's ear and confessed: "You mean so much to me, Toby." The guard sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes for a second, enjoying the feel of the other woman's body against her own. It was sweet torture. 

"I'll be there for you, Chris. In whatever capacity you want me to be."  
The younger woman laid her head on Tobin's shoulder.  
"I wish things were different."  
She could feel it now...  
Even if the princess didn't outright admit it...she didn't have to. Tobin's heart knew. Christen felt the same. 

The princess let go of her and although still pale, she had a determined expression on her face. "Train me. I want to learn how to fight....we didn't really get far during our trip. If someone tries to kill me, I'd at least want to be able to put up a fight," she said grimly. 

Tobin's heart swelled at the fierce woman standing in front of her.  
"Of course."  
She picked Henry's bow up from the ground and grabbed an arrow out of the quiver. "Want to give it a try?" Tobin asked playfully. The princess grinned and nodded. 

Tobin got into position and explained her stance, raising her bow, pulling the bowstring back with skilled hands and let go. The arrow zipped through the air, straight at the target, boring into the 9 points. The guard grinned at Christen, who looked at her with slightly hooded eyes. Tobin blushed and handed her the bow, discreetly rubbing her injured arm. The princess tried to recreate Tobin's stance and raised the bow. 

She drew the bowstring, aiming at the target. "Like this?"  
Tobin positioned herself behind the princess. "Loosen your grip a bit. It needs to be relaxed so it doesn't influence the trajectory," Tobin explained, pushing her leg softly between Christen's to correct her stance. She covered Christen's hands with her own, changing their angle. 

The proximity made Tobin's head spin but apparently Christen didn't fare much better. The princess bit her bottom lip. "I-I can't concentrate," she sighed and shivered, as she felt the guard's breath hitting the sensitive skin on her neck. "God, Toby...you make me want to-" she stopped herself mid sentence.  
Tobin knew she should step away. Knew, that if someone saw them, it would most likely cause suspicions. Her body didn't seem to listen to her brain.  
"Make you want to do what?" she asked instead. Christen swallowed audibly. "You make me want-to kiss you again, but this time without any interruptions," the princess husked. A low whine slipped out of Tobin's mouth. _Fuck!_ She needed to stop this. Now!

Tobin let go of the younger woman, feeling hot all over.  
"Sooo...why-why don't you give it a try now," the guard murmured, desperately trying to regain her composure. 

Christen's arrow flew way past the target. "Try to concentrate on your stance, Chris!" Tobin reminded her.  
The princess rolled her eyes. "That's what I'm trying to do." There was an edge in her voice. She grabbed another arrow but the next one missed the target as well.  
Christen huffed and stubbornly grabbed another arrow. Tobin chuckled at her attitude. "Chris, you have to relax. Be still and not hectic," she said in a calming tone.  
"Right hand a bit higher...great.. now stop focusing on your breathing so much. Just breathe naturally." 

Her instructions worked. The next arrow was just slightly off target. And the one after...  
"I did it!!" Christen cheered joyful and jumped into Tobin's arms, as the arrow hit the outer ring.  
The guard caught her and hugged her tightly. "Well done, Chris!"  
It felt so good to hold her in her arms...  
_Stop dreaming! It's getting darker and your top priority is her safety_  
Tobin lowered Christen softly to the ground. "You were great!"  
The younger woman beamed at her. "Thank you for being patient with me."

"Always, Chris! Let's pack up, the sun will set and I'm sure you're expected to join the O'Haras for dinner."  
She pretended not to notice how  
Christen's face fell at the mention of the royals. 

***  
"Please tell me that you'll stay in my room tonight," Christen said as they climbed up the stairs to her bedroom.  
"I...suppose the circumstances have changed now. So if that is something you want, then I will stay with you," the guard said cautiously. Staying with her in close quarters again would be challenging for her self control.  
"Let me check the room first," Tobin said as Christen unlocked the door. 

The guard scanned the room, checking on the windows, looking for anything unusual but it seemed fine. She waved for Christen to come in and lock the door.  
Tobin sat down in the princess's armchair close to the fireplace and waited for her to change into her nightgown. 

She looked so soft as she padded to her queen size bed, sliding under the covers, looking expectantly at Tobin.  
"Aren't you going to join me?"  
"I-uh...join you...i-in bed?" Tobin stuttered, face flushing at the thought of wandering hands and naked bodies.  
"I'm not going to jump you, Toby," the princess laughed. _But maybe I will..._  
Tobin sighed, not able to say no to her, pulled her sheath off and leaned it against the wall, within reach.  
Once Tobin was laying comfortably under the blanket, Christen turned on her side, facing her.  
"Now...what happened to your hand?"  
_Yep, definitely screwed._


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for those amazing comments and thoughts! 
> 
> This one was the hardest to write for me so far.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Christen's POV

Christen was fuming! How could Tobin be so reckless and hurt herself?!  
The hand was bruised and still a bit swollen. Christen had assumed that the guard had gotten hurt while being on duty. Now finding out that she'd done this to herself angered the princess.

Christen got out of bed and into the bathroom, wetting a washcloth.  
"Give me your hand," she said in a tone, that left no room for a discussion. Cradling the guard's hand softly in hers she gently pressed the cool cloth against it.  
"Thank you, Chris. Feels good," Tobin said and seemed to relax.  
"I'm still mad at you!" she reminded her. The guard smiled at her apologetically and Christen felt her anger already fading away at the sweet look on her face.

 _Don't let her get away this easily._  
"Seriously Tobin, don't do that again," she scolded.  
"I'm sorry." Soft brown orbs looked pleadingly at her and Christen gave up with a huff.

Sleeping with Tobin by her side was really something else. Tucked comfortably into the guard's side Christen fell asleep almost immediately. 

***

"Chris, wake up. We need to get down for breakfast," a soft voice pulled her out of her dreams. A hand cupped her cheek, thumb drawing lazy circles. She opened her eyes slowly, instantly connecting with Tobin's. The guard was popped up on her elbow, observing Christen's every move.  
"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, Chris," Tobin whispered and looked at her with so much adoration, that her heart melted into a puddle. 

Deep inside the princess knew that what she felt for Tobin exceeded friendship by far. The way her heart raced around her. The way one glance and one simple touch could set her on fire. The way Tobin's smiles always brightened her days...  
The way Tobin's lips had felt against hers...  
Christen had only ever read about it before, yet she knew...It was love.  
She was in love with Tobin and she'd have to marry Henry in eight days.  
_God, how am I supposed to let her go?_

A knock on the door brought her back to reality.  
Tobin was on her feet in an instant, sheath in hand.  
"Stay back, okay?" she said and opened the door just crack.

"Oh, hi Tobs! Are you..on duty? No one was guarding this door," Jason said irritated. Tobin's grip around the sheath softened as she talked to the other guard. It was obvious to Christen, that the other woman felt uncomfortable at the thought of being caught inside her room.

"Yeah I'm on duty. The princess needed my help with something. Thanks for checking, though!"  
Tobin rubbed her neck and a slight blush tainted her cheeks. She looked so attractive...  
Christen shook her head at herself and got up to get through her morning routine. 

She was trying to tame her unruly hair when the guard knocked on the doorframe.  
"Are you decent?" Tobin asked.  
Christen smiled. The last time she'd heard that question she'd been in LA, putting on Tobin's clothes. She really missed the clothes. They were more comfortable, convenient and had this unique smell that was just...Tobin. It seemed so far away already.  
"Yes, I am." The other woman entered the bathroom, staring at her hair. Christen had chosen to wear it in a tight bun the last few days.

"I'm sorry. I'm a mess," the princess said as the guard still stood silently in the door while she tried to comb her hair.  
Tobin shook her head and chuckled.  
"So what's on the agenda today?" Tobin asked casually, smiling at her. Out of all questions the guard could've asked, it had to be this one? Christen couldn't look at her. 

"The queen and I are going to talk about the wedding ceremony and I think she wants to do...do the dress fitting," she said in a small voice.  
"Oh."  
The guard tried to sound cheerful and happy for her, but it was hollow. Just how Christen felt about it.  
"So, uh...the guard at the door, do you know him well?" the princess asked, changing the topic. She didn't want to think about the wedding, couldn't think about it without feeling sick.  
"Yes, Jason. He and I often trained together. He joined the guard the same time I did," Tobin explained, thankfully letting the subject go. 

"Do you want me to get Ali to help you with your hair?" 

Christen laughed. "That bad, huh?"

"No, you look-" the guard swallowed audibly. "You look absolutely gorgeous, Chris. I just figured you'd want some help."

"Why don't you help me?" Christen asked slyly, catching the other woman off guard. "Oh-sure. I can do that," Tobin mumbled more to herself than to Christen and pulled another chair out to sit behind the princess. 

The older woman sat there motionless, staring at Christen's hair, waiting for instructions. The princess grinned cheekily at Tobin. "You're allowed to touch my hair, Toby." She divided it into three parts and guided Tobin to braid it. Her touch was soft and careful. Closing her eyes, the princess hummed happily. This was something she could definitely get used to.  
"I think, I'm done," Tobin said, gently massaging Christen's scalp with her fingers for a minute longer.  
"God, that feels _so_ good," the princess said sensually. 

Tobin blushed and stood up, offering her hand to Christen. "We should get going...wouldn't want you to be late to-your thing."

Christen hated how sad Tobin's voice sounded, wished now more than ever to just elope with Tobin. It wasn't possible, she had to fulfill her duty as the princess.  
She would never be able to look into her mother's eyes again if she broke the engagement. Her kingdom needed her.

Tobin escorted her down and it felt like walking to her own funeral. The guard waited in front of the room, not wanting to intrude. "I'll see you later," Tobin whispered lowly as Christen entered the dining room, where Kelley and her mother sat, still eating breakfast.  
"Good morning," Christen said, trying to sound cheerful. 

"Christen, dearest! Good morning! Sit down, eat something. You look like you could use a good breakfast," Eliza said brightly, already filling Christen's plate with sausages and scrambled eggs. 

"Thanks", Christen said weakly as she eyed the plate.

"Henry is going to join us in the afternoon to talk about the ceremony. We have already taken care of the most important parts, since you arrived on a short notice. I still hope everything will be to your liking," the queen explained.

Christen tried to look grateful and put on a happy smile but a snort coming from the youngest O'Hara told her she wasn't doing a good job. 

The queen excused herself to gather the maids and the dresses, leaving Kelley and Christen alone.  
"You look like you've got tooth ache, Pressy," Kelley said directly and raised her brows. 

"Just not feeling well," Christen retorted, attention still on her food.

"Mhm...you seem to feel just fine whenever Tobs is around."  
Christen's head snapped up. Did Kelley know?! But how could she? They both acted professionally around each other and kept their distance. Except...did the princess of Portland see them yesterday at the range?  
"Alright, dear!" The queen came back into the room, two maids holding different dresses following her. "Let's move this to the dressing room, shall we?"

Kelley shrugged and followed her mother outside, leaving an uneasy Christen at the table. She needed a minute to center herself. Kelley couldn't possibly know about her feelings for Tobin. They were both women, it was normal for them to hug and be close, right?

"Christen, are you coming?" The queen came back in, startling her out of her thoughts. "I'm sorry. I'm on my way."  
She got up and moved to the door, hearing the queen speak again. "Why don't you join us in the dressing room, Tobin?" Although she couldn't see the guard's expression, Christen had a feeling that it looked a bit like the grimace she had on her own face. 

***  
Christen stared at her reflection. It was the third dress she'd put on already and they all had the maids and the queen gushing just how beautiful she looked in each one of them.  
Her own lady's maid stood close to Tobin, who looked like she didn't want to be here at all, being unusually quiet. She complimented her but not in an overly happy way. It seemed like Ali wasn't trying to be excited for the wedding anymore. 

"Maybe you'll like this one more," the queen encouraged, presenting another dress. The princess nodded, trying hard to be enthusiastic.

"Wow! Not bad, Pressy!" Kelley was the first one to comment on the dress. It was rather plain but elegant, hugging her curves just right.  
"Oh goodness, aren't you stunning! Henry will have a heart attack when he sees you in this," the Queen gushed, walking around Christen to look at her from every angle.  
Christen wanted to cry. Eliza was right. It would've been the perfect dress, if it wasn't the wrong person she had to marry. 

"Tobin! Isn't Christen the most beautiful bride?" the queen asked out of nowhere, apparently wanting more people to reassure the princess to choose this dress. 

Their eyes met through the mirror and it felt like time stood still for a moment. Tobin's eyes were wide like saucers and...were they glistening? The guard nodded faintly. "She is. Absolutely magnificent," Tobin croaked out, her eyes not leaving Christen. 

"That's the reaction we were going for," Eliza said happily and handed Christen a handkerchief, who hadn't realized that she was crying.  
Kelley's gaze darted back and forth between them, unsettling her.  
"Th-thank you, Eliza. It's beautiful."  
In the mirror she saw Ali gently squeezing Tobin's shoulder, as if the guard needed some support.

"Why don't we take a break and eat some lunch before going over the preparations," the queen offered and smiled at Christen, who certainly wasn't feeling like eating something.

***  
Sitting through the wedding preparations was torture. King and Queen talked to them about their ideas. The ceremony was supposed to be held in the idyllic inner courtyard. Henry seemed to hear about the arrangements for the first time, too and it made her wonder, if he tried to avoid the thought of the impending marriage as well.  
"Christen, we've been wondering if there is any local dish you'd like to be served?" The king asked and smiled at his soon-to-be daughter in law. "This is your wedding, too and we want you to feel comfortable."  
_If you want me to be comfortable don't let us get married._ She couldn't think about food right now.  
Bile rose in her throat at the thought of actually putting on that dress and exchanging vows with Henry. Panic surged through her body. The walls were closing in on her, voices drowned out by a loud buzz inside her head. The O'Haras blurred and dark dots appeared in her vision. She couldn't breathe.

Tobin was by her side in an instant. She'd recognize her specific smell anywhere. The guard wrapped her up in her strong arms, gently touching her cheeks.  
"Take a deep breath."  
Her voice seemed far away but Christen did as she was told, sucking in a lungful air. The buzzing sound decreased a little.  
"It's okay. Just breathe evenly, my lady," the guard said, taking Christen's hand in hers to put it on her chest so she could feel her breathe in and out steadily.  
Her vision slowly improved and Tobin stepped away again, not making eye contact with her, looking at the king instead.

"Sir, I think the princess needs some rest. The last days have been eventful and she hasn't been feeling well lately," the guard spoke up and the king nodded understandingly.  
"You may escort her back to her room, then. Christen, if there is anything you need, let us know," the king said and the princess nodded, relieved to finally get out of this situation.

Henry was about to get up, wanting to join them but his sister put a hand on his shoulder to stop him, shaking her head. "Give her space, Hen. Tobs will handle it."

Christen's legs were a bit unsteady as she got up and left the room as fast as possible, the guard right behind her.  
"Thanks for-for getting me out of there," Christen said shakily, grateful for Tobin's quick reaction.

The guard shrugged and put her hand on the small of Christen's back to steady her as they climbed up the stairs. It seemed like Tobin knew exactly how to reassure and help her without having to ask. It was just a small gesture but Christen felt safe. 

Back in her room the princess let herself fall onto the bed, face buried in her pillow, hating how weak she felt all over again. She'd faint at the wedding, if she didn't come to terms with the situation. 

The mattress dipped down next to her. Christen lifted her head and stared straight into Tobin's concerned eyes.  
"Is there anything I can do for you, Chris?" the other woman asked softly.  
_Hold me and don't let me marry him!_ Christen shook her head. It was ridiculous to think Tobin could do anything about her marriage. 

The guard stayed close to her while Christen bemoaned herself silently. She should be happy to marry a nice guy like Henry, it could've been so much worse. She curled herself into a ball, wanting to disappear.

"Get up," Tobin ordered suddenly and stood.  
"Tobin, what-" Christen blinked owlishly and took Tobin's outstretched hand.  
"We're going. You need a break...we both do," the guard said as if that was obvious.  
"Going?" Christen tried to keep up. Tobin pulled her out of the room and down the stairs without saying anything else. They reached a part of the castle she hadn't seen yet. Tobin unlocked a door and ushered her inside.

"Toby? What-where are we?" The princess looked around the small room. It was full of various training gear and weapons. An old rug covered the floor and a small bed stood in the corner, beneath a tiny window. Tobin rummaged through an old drawer, pulling out some clothes.

"This is my room," she said without further explanation.  
Christen raised her brows suspiciously. "And what are we doing here?"

Tobin finally turned around and held out leather pants and the same leather jacket she'd worn on the journey to Portland. "Want to be Annemarie for a bit?", she asked and grinned conspiratorially at the princess. 

Christen's mood promptly improved at the prospect of getting out of the castle. "You can get us out of here?"  
The guard nodded, hastily turning her back to the princess, as Christen eagerly wiggled out of her dress. She couldn't help but smile at Tobin's gallant behavior.  
"You're...allowed to look at me, you know?" She whispered softly, suddenly needing Tobin to look at her.  
The older woman turned around, gaze wandering over the exposed skin. Her eyes were dark as her tongue darted out to wet her lips, hands clasped behind her back, as if to stop herself from reaching out. A surge of arousal pulsed through Christen's body.  
She took Tobin's clothes, taking her time to put them on, loving how Tobin observed every move. 

The guard cleared her throat. "I love seeing you in my clothes." Her cheeks were still red but her natural confidence back in place.

"I love wearing them. They smell like you," Christen confessed, inhaling the sent deeply. Tobin's smile was so blinding that it could light up the room. "We should go now. Pull the hood as far into your face as you can."

"You really think they won't notice?"  
"The king is the only one who knows that im constantly by your side. The other guards will just assume you're one of the servants. Nobody expects a princess beneath these clothes."

They crossed the grounds and got to the stables without any interruptions. Tobin talked to the groom for a minute and came back with two horses.  
"Ready?"  
Christen nodded eagerly. "Definitely. Thank you so much for doing this, Toby!"  
The more the princess thought about it, the more she worried what might happen to Tobin, if they were exposed. She could only imagine the king's anger if he found out.  
They mounted their horses and rode to the gate, Tobin nodding politely as the guards opened it up, for them to finally get out. 

Christen let out a breath she didn't know she was holding as they had passsed the gate and were on the streets of Portland. She felt lighter than she had for days and breathed in deeply. The guard rode next to her, smiling happily at Christen's joy to be out of the castle.  
"I want to show you something, follow me," Tobin said as they made their way through town.  
She directed them out of town and into a wilder area. Green bushes and trees grew everywhere.  
Everything looked so fresh and alive. They passed some thicket and Christen gaped.  
In front of them was a beautiful waterfall, cascading down a moss covered rock shelf. 

"Oh my gosh, Tobin! It's beautiful!", she exclaimed and descended quickly to get a better view.  
The guard got down as well, tying both horses to a nearby tree.  
"It's one of my favorite places here in Portland. It calms me," Tobin opened up and gently intertwined her hand with Christen's. "I've never actually brought someone here."

Christen's heartbeat sped up at her words. She squeezed Tobin's hand tighter. "Thank you for showing me. It's- you're.." her words failed her.  
She couldn't hold herself back anymore. The need to be closer to Tobin taking over her mind completely.  
She stroked Tobin's cheek gently, pulling her in. Their lips met halfway, Tobin leaning in as well. She sighed softly as their mouths fit perfectly together in a sweet and slow kiss. Christen wrapped her arms around Tobin, needing more body contact.  
The guard complied immediately, backing her up against a tall oak tree, pressing their bodies together. Christen moaned as the kiss grew more passionate and Tobin's tongue slipped into her mouth. "God, Tobin!"  
Her hands moved from Tobin's neck, along her strong shoulders and down her rips. She couldn't stop, wanted- no, needed to explore the guard's body. She caressed Tobin's abs through her shirt, feeling the muscles contract. The guard groaned and broke the kiss. "Fuck, Chris."  
Tobin's pupils were blown and she looked at the princess hungrily for a second before she dipped down, kissing and nipping on her neck.  
"Ohhh." _It feels so good!_  
Her legs turned into jelly but Tobin kept her upright, sucking on her pulse point.  
"Yes.." her voice was hoarse, filled with lust. 

A rustle in one of the bushes forced them out of their bubble. Tobin stood in front of her, sword in hand. She was out of breath but her focus on the bush was sharp.

A rabbit jumped out, making both of them sigh. Tobin put her sword back and scratched her head nervously.  
"God, I'm sorry I got carried away. You-you make me lose all my self control," she apologized, running her fingertips along Christen's neck. Goosebumps erupted where the fingers traced the sensitive skin and all Christen wanted was for Tobin to kiss her senseless again. Christen shook her head.  
"It was my fault."  
The guard sighed and stepped away from her. "Let's say we're both to blame."  
It was the truth. Just like a moth drawn to the flame, Christen found herself always wanting to be near Tobin, touching her, talking to her, feeling her.  
_This is not something you can have...you're going to be a married woman soon._  
They both looked at the waterfall, enjoying the peace.  
"Thank you for today, Toby," she said after a while. "I know how much you risked to show me."

"I'd do it all over again." The guard chuckled and linked their hands again. 

***  
They got back to the castle just shortly before dinner. Christen changed her clothes and made it just in time.  
"My lady how are you feeling?" Henry asked kindly as he piled chicken thighs and potatoes up on his plate.

"I'm better now, thank you." She gave him a tight smile, already looking forward to spend the night with Tobin alone in her room.  
"Excellent. Would you like to go out for an evening stroll after dinner?"  
She wanted to decline but she knew she couldn't, having already bailed on him this afternoon.  
_He's gonna be your husband. At least try to get to know him._  
"I'd love to, Henry."

Prince and princess walked arm in arm through the inner courtyard where their wedding ceremony would be, an unhappy Tobin tagging along, a few feet behind.  
"Can't believe this is where we're gonna get married in a few days," Henry said nervously when they heard footsteps approach.

Someone walked towards them. Christen felt Tobin shift behind them, already knowing that the guard was ready to jump into action. It was a courier.  
"Good evening your highnesses," the person bowed. "I've got an urgent message for the princess of  
Los Angeles.  
He handed Christen the parchment roll and left with another bow. 

_A message from home?_ Christen didn't have anyone at home who'd write her a letter. 

She broke the seal and saw a small, hastily scribbled note, signed by her father's brother and began to read:

"Dear Christen,  
king and queen have fallen. I'm inconsolable to have to inform you that my beloved brother and his wife have been murdered. As the next in line of succession you are now officially the sovereign of our kingdom."

"No..." tears stung in her eyes as she reread the note. It couldn't be!  
Without thinking the princess sank onto her knees, legs not able to hold her up anymore. Her parents were dead. Someone had killed them and now she was alone. A sob escaped her mouth as she crumbled down, letting go of the paper.

Both, Tobin and Henry kneeled down next to her.  
"My lady, what's going on?"  
"Chris?"  
_They're gone. I'll never see them again._  
How much more did she have to take?  
"Christen, talk to me," Tobin's anxious voice put her out of her state of shock. Sniffling, she got up and broke out into a run, not caring about the assassin, who might've been waiting for an opportunity to kill her. She didn't look back at them.

Nothing mattered anymore. Her family was dead and she would never get a chance to be with the woman she loved. Her lungs burned but she pushed herself to run even faster. Away from it all. Away from the pain.  
She was close to the stables when she heard someone sprinting after her, calling her name. 

"Chris!" Tobin's hands closed around her body, pulling her to a stop and into her arms. The princess fought the embrace, hitting her fists against Tobin's shoulders but the guard didn't let go. "Chris, please don't run away. I can't protect you, if you leave!" Tobin pleaded.  
The princess's resistance wavered, gripping Tobin's shirt tightly as she sobbed. "Don't c-care. They're d-dead."  
Tobin rubbed her back soothingly. "They're gone... but they wanted you to live, Chris."  
Christen weeped into Tobin's shoulder. "This isn't a life I want to live...I-I can't marry Henry!"

"I'm so sorry. I'm here for you. I'm not gonna leave you, I promise!"

Christen squeezed her eyes shut. "Run away with me, Tobin! Just say the word and I'll leave with you immediately."  
_Let us just be together..._

The guard was completely taken aback. Exhaling slowly, Tobin pulled back a bit to look into the princess's eyes. Silent tears rolled down Tobin's cheeks.  
"I-I can't. God, I'm so in love with you, Chris but this-this isn't right! What about Henry? What about the kingdom? We can't do this, especially not when you're so upset," Tobin said desperately.  
It's funny how the words she wanted to hear Tobin say the most, also made her feel worse than before...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay safe!


	17. Chapter 17

Tobin's POV

It felt like the longest day in history to the guard. Constantly switching between a dream and a nightmare. 

The dress fitting felt like a punishment. A punishment for feeling this way about the princess. Seeing her finding the perfect wedding dress to marry someone else made her choke up, barely able to answer the queen's question. She tried to remind herself that she couldn't give Christen any of this.

Her suffering did not go unnoticed by Ali, who squeezed her shoulder compassionately, mouthing "It's going to be okay."  
_How can she be this sure?_  
They weren't like Ali and Ashlyn...  
Their love might not be accepted but at least they could be together.  
_No need to pity yourself, Tobin. Some things are just out of your hand.  
_  
***  
Christen was having a panic attack. The guard could see the telltale signs as the younger woman's face paled, her breathing rapidly increased and she eyes glazed.  
_Why isn't anybody doing something?!_  
Tobin cursed quietly and ran to the princess before someone else had even registered her distress.  
"Take a deep breath," she instructed calmly as the princess gripped her arms tightly. 

"It's okay, just breathe evenly, my lady." The title felt wrong coming out of her mouth but it was already a risky move to just hold her in front of everyone. If Mary, Ali and Ashlyn were able to see her feelings for Christen, someone else would see them, too. 

The princess calmed down a bit but her breathing was still uneven.  
Tobin took her hand and pressed it to her chest, to feel Tobin's slow and deep breathing.  
The glassy look in her eyes disappeared, Tobin letting go of her and taking her place back at the door immediately.  
She glanced at the princess, who looked like she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her. Tobin worried her bottom lip, Christen needed a break.

"Sir, I think the princess needs some rest. The last days have been eventful and she hasn't been feeling well lately," Tobin reasoned. Luckily the king agreed with her and let them leave. Tobin had to hurry to keep up with the princess's pace. 

Back in Christen's room Tobin sat down on the bed next to her. Trying to come up with something... anything to make her feel better. She thought about what helped her and had an idea.  
"Get up," she said, pulling Christen up and taking her hand. She led them down into her quarters and searched for some clothes for the princess to wear.  
The other woman still looked confused as Tobin handed her the clothes.  
"Want to be Annemarie for a a bit?" 

Her words had the desired effect on Christen, who was giddy to get out of the castle with her.  
_Maybe we shouldn't come back..._  
Her train of thought derailed the moment the princess stepped out of her dress uninhibitedly.  
Tobin hastily turned around when her brain finally caught up to the situation. 

"You're... allowed to look at me, you know?"  
_Fuck!_  
Christen's whispered words made her heart race. Tobin turned back to her and instantly bit her lip to stop herself from groaning. Christen looked a goddess. Her skin was smooth and oh... so inviting. Tobin had to restrain herself to stay where she was, watching as Christen put her clothes on, torturously slow.  
God, this woman would be the death of her.

When 'Annemarie' stood in front of her, Tobin couldn't help it.  
"I love seeing you in my clothes."

"I love wearing them. They smell like you."  
Tobin wanted to kiss her. She wanted to kiss her so badly but she knew she shouldn't. If they wanted to get back before dinner, they needed to leave.

Although she was certain that nobody would suspect Christen underneath the hood, she was relieved when they were on the streets of Portland. Tobin led them to one of her hideaways. She had found this place when she ran away from the castle, only a few months after her parents had died and had come back whenever she felt lost or out of balance. She wanted to share this special place with Christen now.

The princess looked around, stunned by the beauty of this place and squeezed Tobin's hand.  
"Thank you for showing me. It's-you're..." her voice was full of emotion and Tobin could feel how overwhelmed she was. She smiled softly at Christen as the princess caressed her cheek. The green in her eyes seemed to have disappeared. Her eyes were dark and conveyed the same need Tobin had tried to suppress all day.

Kissing Christen was the the most wonderful thing on earth. The soft pressure of her mouth, the way her tongue slid against hers. The way she moaned Tobin's name...  
Tobin backed the princess up against a tree, bodies pressed together.  
Christen's roaming hands on her body set her on fire as he princess touched her abs through the shirt. She needed to breathe and pulled away for a second. "Fuck, Chris."  
Locking eyes with the slightly breathless princess again, Tobin felt her own arousal spike out of control. Christen looked so _good_ with her kiss swollen lips and flushed cheeks. The guard needed to hear those soft moans again and leaned down to kiss Christen's neck. Her skin was so soft. Tobin doubted she'd ever get enough of her and as she sucked on her pulse point and the princess rasped out a sensual "Yes..." the guard knew that she wouldn't be able to stop.

The spell was broken by a rabbit jumping out of a nearby bush and Tobin wasn't sure if she should be devastated or relieved. She apologized for her lack of self control but the princess made it clear that they were both a bit too much into it.  
_Be with me. Be mine._

***

"Allergies acting up?" Ash asked with a sly grin as she sat down next to Tobin for dinner.  
"Huh?"  
Ali laughed loudly, sitting down across from them.  
"Your lips are a bit swollen, Tobs."  
The guard rubbed her hand over her lips, making the other women laugh again.  
"Not helping, my friend," Ash smirked.  
Tobin blushed furiously and hoped no one else would notice.

After dinner she had to be the chaperone again. When Henry talked about the upcoming wedding, the guard felt her heart sink again. No matter how real the feelings between them were, she could never have a relationship with Christen...  
Footsteps pulled her out of her thoughts as a currier delivered a letter for Christen and the moment the younger woman had finished the letter, Tobin knew that something had to be terribly wrong.

Without another word, the princess ran and it seemed like she was running for her life. Tobin grabbed the crumbled piece of paper and read the note. _Oh lord, no._  
"Tobs, since when can you read?" Henry asked flabbergasted but Tobin ignored him.  
"Her parents are dead," she mumbled and stared at the paper again, hoping to have misunderstood something.  
"Want me to...uh...go after her?" Henry asked slowly, unsure what to so.  
"No, inform king Harris and get Ali! I'll go," she practically ordered but Henry didn't seem to mind.  
"Ali?"  
"For heavens sake, keep up Henry! Her lady's maid!" Tobin yelled and ran after Christen.

"Chris!" Tobin screamed but the younger woman did not stop.  
Damn it, she was so fast that Tobin could barely keep up.  
_She seems to run towards the stables. Does she want to run away?!_  
The thought of Christen riding through the night alone was enough to fuel Tobin's sprint. She ran as fast as she could and finally, finally the princess was within reach.  
"Chris!"  
Tobin grabbed her shoulders and pulled the woman into an embrace, almost making them tumble over.  
Christen fought against her, trying to break free but Tobin wasn't letting go.

"Chris, please don't run away. I can't protect you, if you leave!" Tobin pleaded desperately.  
The younger woman's sobs were heart wrenching.  
"I-I can't marry Henry!" Her words felt like a dream, yet so wrong.

"Run away with me, Tobin! Just say the word and I'll leave with you immediately."  
Tobin's heart shattered into pieces. She'd dreamed about Christen saying these words. Wanted to tell her yes. Wanted to grab her and leave everything behind.  
But she couldn't. The Christen she fell in love with wouldn't want to just abandon her kingdom. She was the queen now.  
_Oh god, I'm holding the queen of LA._  
She was hurting and confused... and Tobin couldn't just let her act on impulse. So she did something she wouldn't ever do in her dreams.

"I-I can't. God, I'm so in love with you, Chris but this-this isn't right! What about Henry? What about the kingdom? We can't do this, especially not when you're so upset." Tears blurred her vision as she held the other woman tightly, trying desperately not to fall apart.

"Isn't our love enough?" Christen whispered brokenly. _Our_ love.  
Tobin took a deep breath. "Y-your love means- god... it means everything to me. But you need to think this through Chris, please. Not any rash decisions tonight."

"Will-will you hold me tonight?"  
"I would be honored," Tobin answered sincerely.  
Footsteps were running towards them and as much as Tobin hated it, she had to let go of Christen. 

It was Ali but she wasn't alone. Ash came up behind her and Tobin could tell that she had her right hand close to the dagger on her belt. Instead of her usual gown, the huntress wore pants and a shirt, her bow and a quiver on her back.  
Both of them looked around to make sure they weren't in imminent danger. 

Ali got down on her knees and pulled the princess into her arms, giving Tobin the chance to stand up and walk over to Ashlyn.  
"I need you and Ali to make sure she's safe. Please get her back into her room and lock up. Do not open the door for anyone but me," Tobin said urgently. 

"What are you up to?" Ash wanted to know, keeping an eye on the grounds around them.  
"I need to talk to king Harris."  
"We'll take care of her."  
Tobin was grateful that Ash didn't ask any questions and strode back to Ali and Christen.

"Chris, Ali and Ashlyn are going to bring you back to your room."  
The younger woman looked at her with bloodshot eyes.  
"Don't leave me, Tobin," she begged quietly, shattering Tobin's heart into pieces all over again.  
"I-I will never leave you. I promise,  
Chris! I'll be back as fast as I can."  
The guard waited for the princess to nod and took off. 

***

"King Harris!" Tobin yelled loudly to get his attention. "I need to talk to you, right now!" Her tone was demanding but she wasn't here to play games anymore. She needed to know the truth.  
"Tobs! Aren't you supposed to be with Christen?" Henry asked irritated as the guard walked forcefully towards them.  
"She's safe," Tobin said simply. 

"Your majesty, please!" she pressed on.  
The king's brows furrowed but he nodded. "Excuse us for a moment, son."  
Just as Henry had closed the door, Tobin spoke up again.  
"Tell me you didn't know about this!  
Tell me you weren't aware of their deaths when you asked me to protect her."  
King Harris had a terrible pokerface. Tobin couldn't believe it, didn't want to believe it.  
"You knew it...what were you hoping for, Harris? Christen not finding out until the marriage is sealed and for Henry to take over Los Angeles?" 

"You better watch your mouth, Heath! You seem to forget who you're talking to!" the king bellowed angrily.  
He paced back and forth like he usually did when he was upset.  
"We knew their deaths were coming and they knew it, too! I couldn't protect them but I can still try to protect the princess," king Harris said, as if he'd personally guarded her every day.

Tobin's lips curved into a wary smile as she shook her head. "You meant the queen. She's the rightful heiress of LA," the guard said proudly. "She can do whatever she wants to do now."

King Harris scoffed. "What's gotten into you, Tobin? You know as much as I do, that the people of LA will not accept a woman as their sovereign. If she wants to rule her kingdom, she has to marry Henry."

He was right. Tobin clenched her jaw and nodded defeatedly.  
_At least she can decide for herself what she wants to do with her life now..._  
The guard bowed down. "I'm sorry for being out of line, your majesty."

"You're forgiven. Tobin, it's not only LA that's been unstable. The same forces are trying to gain power here as well. I know you're upset for your friend, but you've got to see the bigger picture. I will not tolerate this behavior again," he dismissed her.

The events of the day slowly caught up to her, making her head spin but she powered through and ran up the stairs.  
"Tobs, careful!" Kelley said as Tobin almost ran into her.  
"Sorry," she said and tried to get past the princess but a hand on her arm stopped her.

"I'm so sorry for what happened to Christen's family," she said sincerely. "I know how much she means to you."  
Tobin felt her cheeks heat up at Kelley's words, hoping she didn't mean them romantically.  
_Deflect!_  
"Yeah, it's awful...she's hurting so much. I remember that feeling well."  
Kelley smiled sadly at her and let go of her arm.  
"Go, be there for your girl."  
Trying not to read too much into Kelley's words, she climbed up the stairs in a hurry. There were already enough things to worry about, she'd worry about the princess of Portland later. 

Exhausted and with the desperate need for the day to end, Tobin knocked on Christen's door.  
"Who is it?" Ashlyn's voice drifted through the door, allowing Tobin to relax a little.  
"It's Tobin. I'm back."  
The door opened immediately but it didn't go unnoticed that Ash had a hand on her dagger, just in case.  
Tobin entered the room, locking the door again. 

"He knew," she hissed, making sure only Ash could hear her words.  
"Honestly, I'm not surprised. I've got some contacts outside of the city and they've been telling me that even king Harris is having a hard time to maintain his place. Some of the dukes strive for more independence. He needs allies if he wants to stay the ruler of this kingdom. I guess that's why he wants to host the festival."

"Mhmm... I never thought I'd say this, but I don't trust him. I need to train Christen... for real. She needs to be able to defend herself. I-I can't lose her."

Ash pulled Tobin in a short but tight hug that she didn't know she needed.  
"It's gonna be okay. We're in this together."  
The guard nodded and turned her attention to the other end of the room.

Christen sat on her bed, knees pulled to her chest, listening to whatever Ali was telling her. She looked so small and more vulnerable than Tobin had ever seen her. She approached them slowly, not wanting to interrupt them.

"Hi Toby," Christen greeted her with a hoarse voice, scooting over so Tobin could sit next to her. She sat down on the bed and pulled the younger woman into her arms. Christen didn't say anything else, head resting in the crook of Tobin's neck.  
Ali looked at them with soft eyes.  
"Ash and I will be in my room, if you need anything. Try to sleep a little."

Tobin thanked them and locked the door. Getting back into bed, she draped the blanket over both of them as the princess cuddled into her side. Christen gripped the fabric of Tobin's shirt with rigid fingers, silent tears seeping into the cotton.

The guard stroked her back gently, trying to calm her.  
"Tell me about them?"  
Sniffling, the princess nodded, sharing happy memories with her parents with the guard. An hour later exhaustion had won and the princess was asleep.  
Tobin kissed her forehead softly and finally allowed herself to close her eyes to rest a little.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that it took me so long! The last few weeks have been rough but I should be able to give you more frequent updates now :) 
> 
> Thank you so much for your support! Stay safe everyone!

Christen's POV

Christen woke up early in the morning. Her throat felt dry and her eyes burned. The memories of the day before came flooding back. The letter. The death of her parents. Tobin saying she was in love with her.   
_Tobin..._  
The guard slept soundly next to her, an arm safely draped around Christen's waist keeping her close.   
She took a deep breath, inhaling Tobin's unique sent. The other woman stirred, as if she sensed that Christen was awake.   
"Hey," she rasped out sleepily, pulling Christen's body closer for a second.  
"Hey."  
Christen wanted to kiss her...  
She was tired of fighting against her feelings and decided to finally do what she wanted.   
The princess leaned in and kissed Tobin softly. The feeling of her lips moving tentatively against Christen's helped grounding her. Her clouded mind seemed to get clearer with every nip of the guard's teeth. God, Christen wanted to be with her, to hold her close, never let her go...  
"I love you, Tobin."  
The other woman's smile was radiant. "I love you, too. So much."

"How... how do we proceed from here?" Christen asked quietly, linking their hands together. Tobin opened her mouth a few times and sighed. She sat up, pulling Christen against her.   
"You have to figure out what you want to do...you're free to make your own choices now."   
Tobin stroked the back of Christen's hand softly.   
"Am I really free? My kingdom depends on the decisions I'm making." The guard looked down at their hands, swallowing audibly.   
"I know."  
Not able to look into Tobin's eyes right now Christen stared at their hands. They fit so perfectly together, like they were meant to be. Everything about them felt like that. Whenever Christen thought back to the day she'd met Tobin, she had to admit to herself that everything had always felt right with her. 

From the moment Tobin had dropped her hood Christen had found herself drawn to her.   
What was she supposed to do? She couldn't reign her kingdom and be with Tobin...

"I don't know what to do. My parents would probably want me to proceed with the wedding, marry Henry and make him the official ruler of LA."  
She looked at the guard nervously, scared of what she might find in those soft brown eyes. Tobin gave her a sad smile.   
"Whatever you're going to do, Chris, I'll always be there for you. Even... even if it's as a friend." Her voice sounded hoarse and Christen hated the idea of being just friends with the older woman.

"I-I don't know if I could ever just be friends with you. You mean too much to me," the princess confessed. She hadn't noticed that she'd been crying until Tobin gently wiped the tears away with her thumbs, leaning in to kiss her again. 

Christen doubted that she would ever get enough of kissing Tobin. She deepened the kiss, laying down on her back, pulling the other woman on top of her. Tobin's thigh slid between her legs as she kissed her passionately, washing away every painful thought for a moment. It felt so good to feel the guard's weight on her, to feel her body pressed against Christen's own. 

"Oh lord, Tobin." She exhaled loudly when Tobin's leg pressed down into her core. She wanted- needed the guard to be closer.   
"Toby, I want to feel you," Christen sighed against Tobin's lips, almost desperate for the feeling of Tobin's naked skin. Her hands reached for the fabric of Tobin's shirt, tugging it out of her pants. 

Christen's fingers slipped under the hem of her shirt, letting her hands wander, mesmerized with the smooth skin and rock hard abs she found there. Tobin moaned quietly as the princess dragged her fingertips over her rips and upwards.   
"Please, I-" Christen didn't know how to phrase her need but Tobin seemed to understand her anyway. The guard sat up and pulled her shirt over her head. There was so much skin on display that Christen felt her mouth go dry at the sight. 

"You're so beautiful," Christen whispered quietly, eyes fixed on Tobin's gorgeous body. Tobin, who certainly wasn't used to being called beautiful, looked into Christen's eyes with so much love. 

Her eyes darkened as the younger woman's hands glided over her toned stomach and up, closer to her bra covered breasts. Biting her lower lip hard, Christen stopped a few inches below them.   
"Can I... can I touch?" she asked shyly, waiting for Tobin's consent.   
The guard nodded, inhaling sharply as Christen's hands finally found their destination. She cupped Tobin's breasts lightly, feeling their weight, brushing her thumbs across her hardened nipples experimentally and that- god, it was something else. Tobin moaned again, hips involuntarily rocking forward into Christen's body. Both gasped simultaneously at the feeling. _It feels so good._

Christen could feel herself getting wetter. This was unlike everything she'd ever experienced before and she needed more. Tobin's hands made quick work of the gown's lacing as a knock on the door startled both women. 

"Fuck," Tobin cursed, hastily putting her shirt back on. "I'm sorry, Chris. I-" another knock on the door. Christen had no idea what the guard was sorry for.   
"Just a second!" Tobin said loudly, helping Christen with shaking hands to redo the laces. She threw her a quick glance to make sure she was okay and got up to open the door, sword at the ready.  
"Who is it?"  
"It's Ali," came the instant reply in her familiar voice. Tobin opened the door slowly, not putting the sword down.   
The lady's maid walked into the room, giving Tobin a pat on her shoulder before pulling Christen into a warm hug.   
"How are you holding up, Chris? You look rattled."   
The princess cleared her throat, her thoughts still occupied with the guard, a blush creeping up her cheeks. 

"I'm... well, I'm not okay but it's nothing I can change right now."   
Ali gave her a sympathetic look.   
"I'm actually here to get you. Breakfast has started 15 minutes ago."

Christen's eyes widened. Breakfast. Somehow something so normal slipped her mind. Of course life wouldn't just stop because her parents had died. She swallowed hard and nodded.  
"Let's get this over with."

***  
It was unusually quiet at the table. Not even Kelley tried to lighten the mood with one of her jokes. The death of Christen's parents hung over them like a fog.   
"Christen, we've thought about the wedding," king Harris eventually broke the silence. "With the tragedy of losing your parents, surely the wedding is not something you want to think about at the moment. What would you say, if we push it back another two weeks, so that your uncle and cousin could be here for the big day? Having family at the wedding is important."  
He said it all in a generous voice but it wasn't his decision anymore. 

It was time to remind him.   
"Thank you for that offer, king Harris. To be honest with you, your majesty, my parents' death has changed the situation," Christen explained politely. She could feel all eyes on her, including Tobin's from close to the door.

The princess turned to Henry, addressing him directly.   
"As much as I like you, Henry... I need some time to figure out the next steps I want to take."  
He looked like a kicked puppy and Christen felt bad for putting him in this position but she couldn't just blindly go ahead and marry him. This time it was her decision and whatever she chose to do, no one else could be held responsible.

"I understand," Henry said, accepting it without any anger. It was one of those moments, when Christen actually wished she had fallen for him. She knew that most men in the royal society would've felt affronted, would've felt like she was undermining their authority. Henry however stayed calm.

"Thank you, Henry," Christen said relieved.  
He nodded. "I'd- I'd still like to get to know you better, though," he said, looking at her with so much hope that Christen didn't have the heart to crush it. "I'd like that, Henry."

***  
Tobin escorted her back towards her room. The guard was even quieter than usual, making Christen feel uneasy.   
"Please don't hate me," she whispered as they climbed up the stairs together. The guard paused.  
"Why would I hate you?"  
"Because I didn't tell him no. Because I didn't call the wedding off," Christen brought up two of the many reasons why Tobin had every right to be upset with her.

Tobin gave her a pained smile. "I meant it, Chris. Whatever you decide to do, I'll be there for you. Even... even if it's killing me."

Christen lunged forward and kissed her. Just like that, throwing all caution in the wind. She needed Tobin to understand- to feel how much she meant to her. It wasn't the choice between Tobin and Henry, it was the choice between her kingdom and Tobin. 

They kissed passionately, tongues fighting for dominance. Christen felt her knees go weak when Tobin's teeth nibbled at her bottom lip. Eventually breathing became an issue, causing them to split apart.  
"That-that was reckless, Chris,"  
Tobin panted, hands still grasping the princess's waist tightly.  
 _Not like you tried to stop it._

"I know.. I- I just really need you to understand how much you mean to me, Tobin."  
The guard brushed another tear away. God, when had she become such an emotional mess?

"I can feel it, Chris," Tobin said earnestly, those brown orbs looking into her green ones with so much love that it took her breath away. 

Footsteps were approaching them.  
"Let's go." Tobin took her by the hand and led the way. Instead of going back to Christen's room, the guard guided her through a seemingly endless corridor and another flight of stairs up before they reached a huge ladder. 

"After you, m'lady" Tobin grinned, bowing down with overly exaggerated movements. Christen rolled her eyes at Tobin's antics, swatting her shoulder lightly before she climbed up the ladder. 

The princess blinked a few times against the bright sunlight. They were... on the roof?!  
Tobin came up right behind her.   
"This is my go to place whenever I need to think."  
"The view is beautiful," Christen said, admiring the view of the castle grounds with the city of Portland in the background.   
"It is," Tobin agreed, though she wasn't looking at the scenery. Her eyes stayed on Christen's face bathed in sunlight.

The princess blushed and gave her a light shove. Tobin sighed theatrically. "Already wanting to throw me down?"   
"No! I-" she stopped when Tobin started to laugh. Her horrified expression turned into a pout.  
"Aren't you supposed to be nice to me?"  
Tobin leaned closer to her, lips just a few inches away from Christen's ear.   
"Am I not being nice to you, m'lady?" she husked, sending shivers down Christen's body.   
_What is this woman doing to me?_ No one has ever made her feel anything like Tobin. 

Christen pulled the guard closer, laying her head onto Tobin's shoulder for support, looking at the still foreign kingdom. The guard instinctively wrapped her arms around Christen's body.   
"Please, let me train you, Chris. After everything that happened you need to be able to defend yourself. Now more than ever." 

"Okay." 

"That was easier than I thought,"  
Tobin chuckled.   
"Why? What would you've done if I said no?"  
The guard just shook her head. "Not letting you get back down from this roof, obviously."

Christen smiled at her, thankful that she was keeping the conversation light. 

***  
They made their way down to the shooting range. "It'll be a more secluded area and will give us enough space to practice."

Despite wanting to learn how to fight, Christen couldn't muster being enthusiastic. If she had the choice, she'd probably stay in bed with the guard, cuddled up in her safe and warm embrace. 

Tobin carried two broomsticks with her, wanting to work on her sword skills without either of them getting hurt.   
In the beginning, they revisited what Christen remembered from her first training sessions. They already seemed to be so far away... her parents still alive...  
"Stop," Tobin said suddenly, making Christen pause.   
"What is it?"

"You need to concentrate, Chris. Stay in the situation... I- I know it's hard for you right now...but it's essential. Breathe, feel your body. Close your eyes for a second and we'll try again, okay?" Tobin suggested calmly. 

Christen did as she was told and after a few moments she was able to focus on her movements. She and Tobin trained together, going through the most important parts of hand to hand combat again. It only took her a few tries before she had Tobin pinned to the ground.   
"Please don't hold back, Tobin. I need to be able to handle it," Christen pleaded. The guard nodded, grasping Christen's hips with her legs, rolling them around. 

"Even if your opponent is on the ground, you've gotta stay alert," she said, pinning Christen's wrists together above her head. The princess struggled to break the hold but she couldn't.   
The pressure of Tobin's body against hers made her feel dizzy, which was certainly not helping. 

"You can still move your legs, Chris. Use them." 

The next two days followed this new kind of routine. Christen joined the O'Hara family for breakfast. Afterwards she and Tobin would train together for a few hours. Lunch and dinner would be eaten separately before they fell into bed, holding each other close at night.

She and Henry didn't have a chance to talk, yet. It seemed like whenever the prince wanted to ask her to spend time together, Kelley had something coming up that would occupy most of Henry's days. 

On the third day, Henry knocked on her door, inviting her to another evening stroll and Christen knew that she couldn't leave him hanging. 

They were walking around the grounds, arms linked together, talking about meaningless topics. Tobin, who was forced to tag along, tried to put as much distance between the royals and herself as possible.   
"There is something I wanted you to know, my lady," Henry began nervously. "If I'm lucky enough and- and you decide to marry me. I want you to know that once we become king and queen of LA, I want us to be equals. LA is your kingdom. It is your home and those are your people. I want to serve you as the best king and husband and I want us to rule the kingdom together." 

Christen stopped dead in her tracks. This was more than she could've ever anticipated. As a man, he'd have the right to reign the kingdom on his own. Him asking them to be equals, was the least thing Christen had expected.   
"Henry- I- that...thank you so much for saying that. You're a wonderful person." _But I don't love you. I never will._

His words echoed in her mind over and over again as she and Tobin later climbed up the stairs to Christen's room. It was the best chance she'd get to rule her kingdom. Henry was nice. She could help building LA up again, making it a better place. 

Once they were back in the room, Tobin locked the door, sitting down on her bed. All it took was one look into the guard's eyes and Christen knew. She knew that Tobin knew. 

"You're going to marry him," Tobin stated emotionless. "To become queen of LA."

"Tobin- I... I have to. I-"  
"You don't have to explain, Chris," the guard interrupted her. "I understand. Your sense of responsibility is one of the many reasons, I fell in love with you."

Tears threatened to fall but Christen held them back. If Tobin could be brave enough and push through this, so could she!

It was only later that night, when the guard thought Christen was asleep, curled in a ball on the bed, that she heard the older woman's heart wrecking sobs coming from the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me...I promise I'll fix it!


	19. Chapter 19

Tobin's POV

It only took one look at the princess and Tobin knew it was over. Christen had made her decision and Tobin couldn't even be mad at her. She understood why Christen had made her choice and she wasn't lying when she told her, that her sense of responsibility was one of the reasons she fell for the other woman.

It didn't help protecting her heart, though. Tobin felt it shatter into a million pieces and was grateful that she was already sitting on the bed, unsure her legs could've carried her much longer. It took every ounce of strength not to break down in front of Christen. The guard knew this was hurting her, too. 

When Christen was asleep she went into the bathroom, finally able to let go. She couldn't remember having cried like this before. The loss of her parents had been hard. She'd cried, she'd been angry that they left her all alone in this world, she'd grieved. But this?  
Christen wasn't gone... Christen would always be close to her... Tobin would see her marrying Henry. She would witness Christen living her life... just not _with her_. So close but not close enough. Sobs wrecked her body as Tobin sank to the floor. 

Waking up on the bathroom floor the next morning was even worse. Her back hurt from the uneven stones she'd slept on, her eyes were swollen and her head was throbbing painfully. She took one of the water buckets and dipped her head inside, letting the cool water soothe her pain. 

***

Tobin kept her glance averted at breakfast, not wanting any of the O'Haras to see her red rimmed eyes. Pain flooded her chest when Christen told them that she'd made the decision to marry Henry and that she'd love to have her cousin and uncle here for the wedding too.

"I was hoping you'd say that, Christen. I've already sent out for them. They should arrive within the next few days. Luckily, they live close to the border." King Harris sounded relieved.   
Henry threw her a happy smile and put his hand on hers. "I'm glad you've made this decision, my lady. I promise to be the best imaginable husband for you."  
"I'm sure you will be," Christen answered with a weak smile.  
Tobin wanted to throw up. No- she actually had to throw up. 

The guard hurried out of the room and grabbed one of the ceramic vases that stood on one of the tables in the entrance hall and vomited. The sound echoed through the quietness of this early morning and Tobin just wanted the ground to open up and swallow her.

"Tobs!" Ashlyn, who just got out of the kitchen, was by her side in an instant, holding her up. "Breathe."

It wasn't surprising that the king gave her the day off, making sure that Christen would be safe, spending the day with Kelley and Henry. 

***

"Here, this will help with the headache and the queasiness," Ash said and handed Tobin a mug with herbal tea.  
"Thanks," the guard replied and took a small sip. Ali sat down on the other side of the table. "What happened?"

"She... she's going to marry him," Tobin croaked out.   
Ali and Ash exchanged a quick look.   
"Oh Tobin, I'm so sorry," Ali said, squeezing the guard's hand that was still wrapped around the warm mug.  
"Are you sure that-"  
"Yes. She's made her final decision," Tobin interrupted, thinking about the look in Christen's eyes.  
Ash sat down next to her and gave her a hug. 

"Is there anything we can do?"   
Tobin sighed and shook her head.   
"I don't know what I was thinking... she's the sovereign of LA and I'm just-"

"Stop. Don't go down that road," Ali said sternly. "She loves you."

"Hey, wanna go to the shooting range and see who's the better archer?" Ash asked, trying to lighten the mood.

The guard shook her head. "No, thanks though. Appreciate it. I'm just gonna head to bed. Didn't get much sleep last night." 

She went back to her quarters, laying down on the bed. It felt strangely empty without the princess by her side. This was something she needed to get used to again. The image of Christen, laying in Henry's arms at night, flickered in front of her. 

Tobin buried her face in her hands, willing her mind to finally shut up and let her rest.   
Exhaustion eventually won and she drifted into a slumber, her dreams haunted by visions of Henry and Christen together. Visions of Christen getting hurt... 

She woke up a few hours later, somehow even more tired than before. It had to be early afternoon, so Christen would still be with Henry and Kelley. Feeling restless, the guard started to clean up. Tobin made the bed and sorted her training gear. When she reorganized her small drawer, a piece of parchment caught her attention. It was the address of Mary's granddaughter. She stared at it for a moment and nodded to herself. 

The guard needed a distraction and meeting Mary's granddaughter would certainly provide some. Under normal circumstances, Tobin wouldn't even consider showing up at some stranger's house but this wasn't a normal one. She grabbed her bag and made her way back down through the castle and to the stables. 

It felt good to ride away from the castle. With every step the horse took, Tobin felt herself breathe more freely. The guard crossed the city of Portland and rode eastward for about a mile. 

After a while, a huge farmhouse came into view. It was the largest house Tobin had ever seen. Mary's granddaughter had obviously married a man of wealth. 

The farm had two barns and its own pond, chickens clucked in the yard. Tobin stared at the property, mouth agape. Everything looked well maintained and she guessed that they'd have to have quite a few farmhands to keep it that way. 

She dismounted the horse and tied it to the fence. With every step closer she felt like an intruder. She didn't wear the royal uniform, which now seemed like a mistake. Tobin was a stranger, showing up out of nowhere on someone else's land.   
There was a sign close to the house but the letters were strange. Tobin couldn't read them.

This was a bad idea. The guard turned around, heading back to her horse. She didn't get that far, though. Two people on horses blocked her way. Her hand slid automatically towards her sword. 

"Who are you?" one of them asked and Tobin noted with surprise that it was a woman's voice. Looking more closely, she realized that both riders had to be women. They wore practical clothes, hoods pulled deep into their faces. Tobin didn't think she'd ever seen other women wearing clothes that were similar to her own. 

"My name is Tobin Heath. I'm a member of the royal guard."

"A woman in the royal guard?" The voice sounded interested, yet careful. 

"I'm the only one. I do not mean any harm."

The smaller figure urged her horse closer to Tobin, whose hands started to feel clammy around the hilt.   
"Why were you sneaking around here?"

"I wasn't. Mary gave me this address in case I ever needed help," Tobin explained, only now realizing that she didn't know Mary's last name and that these two women might not know the name of the lady's grandmother. 

"Well..." the woman close to her drawled. "Are you in need of help?"

Tobin shook her head. "No, I- uh... happened to be in the area and thought it would be nice to make a new acquaintance. Mary is an amazing woman so I figured it wouldn't hurt to get to know her granddaughter." 

Although Tobin wasn't exactly lying, it certainly wasn't the truth either but she thought it sounded better than 'I needed to clear my head because the woman I love is going to marry someone else'.

The shorter woman cocked her head and Tobin had the sinking feeling that she didn't believe her. "I see. Mary is unquestionably an amazing woman but if you're not in need of help, I'd advise you to leave now, Tobin Heath."  
The women moved out of the way, letting her pass.

***

After dinner Tobin found herself knocking on Christen's door instead of returning to her own quarters. Two guards were posted in front but Tobin dismissed them, claiming to feel healthy enough to cover the night shift again.   
The door opened and Ali stood in front of her.   
"Where have you been?!" the lady's maid asked concerned. "Ash went looking for you but you were nowhere to be found." 

"I had to take care of some business out of town," Tobin replied vaguely and entered the room.  
Christen sat on the bed, her favorite book still in hand. The guard's mind wandered back to their conversation in Mary's inn. Back to when they were joking about the book and a princess falling for a subject. It felt so far away already. 

The guard sat next to the princess, who silently pulled her closer to lean her head on her shoulder.   
"Does it have a happy ending?" Tobin asked quietly, pointing at the book in Christen's hand. 

The younger woman smiled weakly. "It does. The ending is beautiful."  
Tobin's chest began to ache again. Happy endings for a love like theirs only existed in fiction. 

"I'm just gonna leave you guys alone for tonight," Ali's voice echoed through the silence. "You know where to find me, if you need anything." 

They went through their nightly routine and crawled under the covers. It felt so domestic and so right and every fibre in Tobin's body wished, she'd get to hold her every night for the rest of their lives... 

"I've missed you today, Toby. Are you feeling better?"  
The guard sighed. "I don't know, Chris. I feel like my heart got ripped out of my chest. I-I'm trying my best but this is really-" Her voice broke again.   
The princess held onto Tobin with a death grip. "I know... and I'm so sorry, Tobin."  
There was no need to dwell on it, they couldn't change the situation anymore and Tobin swore to herself to make the best out of the last few remaining days.   
"I love you, Chris," she mumbled and kissed her softly, feeling her body coming to life again.   
"I love you, too." The princess buried her face in the crook of Tobin's neck, breathing in deeply. 

"King Harris wants to throw a festival in 5 days, when my cousin and uncle are here."  
 _So he was actually continuing with his plan to gather allies among the lords and noblemen._  
Tobin nodded. "Are you happy to see them again?"

"Mhm... if it were under different circumstances, I would," Christen admitted, linking their hands. 

"Chris... I think we should try to just enjoy this last bit of time we've got left. I- don't want to think about you marrying Henry all the time," Tobin whispered, looking into these soft green eyes pleadingly. 

The princess gently stroked Tobin's cheek with her thumb. "Me too. I just want to... feel loved and love you with all my heart," she swallowed audibly. "And w-with my... body, I don't want to look back someday and feel like we didn't make the most of it." 

Slightly overwhelmed, Tobin closed her eyes for a moment to center herself. She wanted that, too. "I-uh think we should try to get some rest. Need you to be awake for the training session tomorrow."

***

The next few days followed the same pattern. After breakfast they would go down to the archery range and train until they were too exhausted to go on. The afternoons were spent with Kelley, who had become a close friend of Christen, and occasionally Henry. Tobin wondered how he could pass on the opportunity to get to know his future wife better but she wasn't exactly sad about him not being there. Kelley provided a good distraction and Tobin was very grateful for that.  
The princess of Portland was easy going and often included Tobin into conversations. She made both of them laugh, something they desperately needed. 

After dinner Tobin would crawl under the covers with Christen, instantly nervous after her confession of wanting to go all the way with Tobin, but nothing ever happened. Every night they would cuddle, exhausted from the day, and fall asleep. 

Christen was getting better and better with the sword. They had switched out the broomsticks for blunt swords to help her get a feeling for the real weapon and god damn it, she was amazing! Once she got the hang of it, Christen wielded the blade like she'd done it all her life. 

The princess was fast. Her movements were so fast and precise that the guard had problems to keep up. On their forth day of training she caught Tobin off guard with a swift move, effectively sending her sword flying.   
"Stop going easy on me, Toby," Christen said with a frown, the sword still raised. 

The guard chuckled. "Chris, I wasn't. I mean, I was in the beginning... but not today." 

Christen blinked a few times. "You mean I've just..."  
"Disarmed me, yeah," Tobin said with a proud smile. "You are incredible, Chris."   
The princess let go of the sword and flung herself into Tobin's arms. 

"Thank you," Christen mumbled into her ear, sending shivers down her body. Tobin tightened her hold around the younger woman. "Anytime, Chris."

A few hours later Tobin knocked on Ali's door. The lady's maid looked a bit breathless, lips red and swollen.   
"Sorry to...uh interrupt you guys, but I need to take care of some business in town. Would you and Ash mind staying with Christen?" Tobin asked and rubbed her neck nervously. 

"Now?" Ali clarified and licked her lips.  
"Please?" The guard said with a shy smile.  
The lady's maid sighed but gave her a nod. "Of course, Tobin. Give us... 5 minutes?"   
The guard grinned at the slightly grumpy woman. "Thanks Ali! You guys are the best."

20 minutes later Tobin was riding back into Portland, hurrying her horse to get to her destination before dusk.   
Once she arrived, she jumped out of the saddle and headed straight into the house.

"Good evening, Marcus," she greeted a tall man, who stood in front of a blazing fire.  
"Tobin! Long time no see. Got a king's order for me?" 

"No, this one is for me," Tobin said, pulling out a small leather bag. She turned it upside down, emptying its contents on a table to the man's right side.  
"Ah, want to treat yourself with a nice new sword, huh?" Marcus smiled and counted the money. 

"Something like that."

The bladesmith nodded. "So, what did you have in mind?"

Tobin knew exactly what she wanted. "Could you make me another arming sword? Double edged, with a straight blade." She put her own sword on the table as well. "Please make it a few inches smaller than this one. The hilt needs to be made of a lighter material as well. Can you have it ready by tomorrow morning?"   
The bladesmith looked surprised but nodded and took the measurements.   
"Anything else?"

Tobin pulled a piece of parchment out of her pocket. "Yes, one more thing..."

***  
Today was the day of the festival, that probably no one except king Harris was looking forward to. They had to get up early, since Christen would need to dress appropriately. A procedure that Tobin wasn't envying her for, but it gave her time to get back to the bladesmith and collect the new sword.

When Ash let her back into the room, Tobin almost dropped the sword. Ali had braided her hair elegantly and the dress she wore... wow. 

Stunned into silence, the guard gaped at the dark haired beauty. Ash elbowed her in the rips. "Close your mouth, Tobs."

Tobin cleared her throat. "You look... so beautiful, Chris."  
The princess smiled at her, her cheeks flushed.   
"Well, I need to get back to the kitchen," Ash said and excused herself. Ali retreated back to her room as well, giving them some privacy. Tobin's hands around the sheath felt sweaty as she moved closer to Christen, who threw her a curious glance. 

"I- I've got something for you," Tobin said nervously, holding out the sword.   
Christen stared at her with wide eyes. "You got me a sword?"   
The guard nodded and smiled at her. "Specially designed for you, m'lady." 

The princess grinned back at her and took it out of Tobin's hands.   
"Toby, it's beautiful!" she exclaimed as she turned the sword in her hands. The guard waited and held her breath.   
Christen's eyes slid over the fine details and then she saw it, engraved into the steel, just above the hilt.

"CP23?" she whispered quietly, fingers softly brushing over it.  
Tobin nodded slowly. "It- it's the day we've met. 23rd March. I thought it... would mean something," she mumbled self consciously.

Hot tears steamed down Christen's cheeks as she pulled the older woman into a tight embrace, breathing "It means everything, Tobin" into the guard's neck.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone 👋  
> it's been a few months since the last update but I promised you that I'd finish the story and I will. 
> 
> There are a **few warnings for this chapter** so please read with caution.  
> There is some **violence** and **death** in this, although it isn't overly graphic.

Tobin's POV 

The festival was already in full swing when the announcer introduced Prince Henry of Portland and his betrothed, Princess Christen of Los Angeles. 

The people cheered as the prince and princess walked down the stairs hand in hand, with Tobin close behind them.   
She hated to admit it but they did make a stunning couple. 

King Harris opened the banquet in his usual, slightly over dramatic way but the guard barely listened. The royals and their closest allies sat in a more secluded area but there were so many people around Christen that it put the guard on the edge. She stood only a few feet away so she could jump into action if necessary.

After dinner people spread out around the inner courtyard to mingle. Tobin followed Christen like a shadow. Prince and princess were the main attraction of the evening and everyone wanted to have a word with them.

Out of the corner of her eye, the guard could see king Harris talking to an old man with a long white beard, a fake smile plastered on his face.

"Mal!" The princess suddenly shouted excitedly, startling Tobin and also Henry, who'd been quieter than Tobin was used to. 

A younger woman with a bright smile, dark hair and flawless skin, who couldn't be anyone else but Christen's cousin, hurried towards them. She jumped into Christen's outstretched arms and hugged her tightly. "I've missed you so much, Chrissy!" 

"It's so good to see you!" Christen sighed happily. "You look all grown up already!"

Mal giggled and twirled around in her dress to show it off. "I'm only two years younger than you!"   
Her gaze fell on Henry and her eyes widened as she realized who stood in front of her. Henry stared at her with an expression Tobin had never seen before.  
"I forgot my manners. It's nice to see you again, prince Henry." Her cheeks turned crimson as she curtsied. The blush only intensified as Henry took her hand and held it close to his lips.

"As usual it's a pleasure, Mallory," he replied almost shyly. 

Christen looked from Henry to Mal. "You... know each other?"  
Mal nodded, not looking away from the prince.  
"King Harris always invites us to the annual Christmas banquet."

Henry's name was called and he excused himself. Just then Mal took notice of the guard discreetly standing close to them.  
"You still need protection?" she asked worriedly, taking a closer look at Tobin.   
"Oh Chrissy, when we got the news of uncle Cody's and aunt Stacy's death we were devastated! I can't imagine what you've been through. If there is anything I can do, please let me know." Mal hugged her again.  
"Thank you, Mal. And thank you for coming to the wedding."

Was it Tobin's imagination or did her cousin's smile seem forced?  
"Of course! Wouldn't want to miss it!"  
They both looked at Henry, who was currently in a conversation with a blonde, slightly overweighted man in elegant clothes.

"You're really lucky, Christen," Mal said quietly, eyes glued on Henry.   
"Henry will be a fantastic husband. I hope that I'll marry someone as amazing as him someday too."

Christen bit her lip, her gaze flickering to Tobin who just stood there lifeless like a statue. 

"He- he seems like a nice guy," Christen agreed with as much enthusiasm as she could muster.

Mal shook her head. "He's not just nice, Chrissy! He's smart and sweet and so strong and- and I'm sure you know that already," the young woman concluded with a chuckle.

Apparently Mallory had taken a liking in the prince. It was almost ironic that the Press woman who didn't have any interest in him was the one he'd have to marry.

Tobin stood guard as the cousins caught up, not really listening to their conversation. She couldn't help watching the way the princess talked though. Christen was so expressive, she used her whole body when she was telling a story.

_Snap out of it! Focus on the surroundings not the target you idiot!_

The blonde man, to whom Henry had talked earlier, stepped closer to the princess. Reflexly Tobin appeared right next to her.

"Your highness," he began in a sleazy voice. "It's an honor to meet you. The stories about your beauty do no do you any justice, my lady." He bowed down without taking his eyes off her. It made Christen uncomfortable, Tobin could see the tiny crinkle between her eyes.

"Thank you..." the princess blushed when she couldn't come up with his name.

"Lord Anthony Leech. I'm a close friend of king Harris," he explained with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. 

It wasn't uncommon, Tobin had often seen how the noblemen try to gain advantages by putting up these facades. It was a fake world that she was more than happy she didn't have to participate in.

The festival seemed like it would take an eternity. Noblemen from all around the kingdom wanted to get to know the royal family's newest addition. King Harris went out of his way with the preparations, having the whole Sonnett family perform an incredible show that lasted about two hours. 

When king Harris held another dramatic speech, welcoming Christen into his family and making it known that she already felt like a daughter to him, Tobin got distracted by him for just a few seconds. The next time she looked back to where Christen had stood, the princess was gone.

The guard whirled around, hoping to spot her anywhere but she couldn't see her. 

_Fuck!_

She searched the crowd and ran over to Henry, who seemed to be in a conversation with Mal again.

"Have you seen Christen?" Tobin asked bluntly, her eyes scanning the crowd. Mal looked irritated by her improper behavior but the guard didn't care. 

Blinking a few times as if he needed to process her words, Henry stared at her. "She isn't with you? Tobin, you were supposed to guard her!"

Her hands got sticky. "I know. I was just listening to king Harris for a second and suddenly she was gone."

Henry frowned. "I'm sure she's just having a conversation with one of the guests," he reassured her, not making a move to help Tobin search for his betrothed. Tobin wanted to slap him. 

One of the guests, the duke of providence, walked over to them. He addressed Henry: "I'm sorry to interrupt you, prince Henry, but if you're looking for the princess... I saw her going for a stroll. She seemed upset."

Tobin opened her mouth but a warning look from the prince stopped her.  
"Where exactly?" Henry asked in a casual tone, like Christen walking alone in the dark wasn't the best chance for the assassin to kill her. 

"She was walking towards the stables, your highness."

Without bothering to bow and ask for permission to go after her, Tobin sprinted towards the stables on the other side of the castle's grounds. It was dark and her eyes hadn't adjusted to the lack of light yet, making her stumble several times.   
Her eyes searched the area, hoping to finally catch a glimpse of her.

_Think, Tobin. If you were Christen and you wanted to be away from everything..._

The guard turned and ran past the stables and the archery range. The only place that offered shelter and peace from unwanted attention was the small forested area behind the archery range. The bushes and trees provided cover for someone who didn't want to be seen.

"Chris?" Tobin shouted through the dark. "Chris, please answer me!"

Wood cracked to and a muffled scream came from her left. _Chris..._

Cautiously she got closer to the noise. Through the dim light of the moon she could finally see her, but she wasn't alone...

"Let her go, Jason!" Tobin growled, startling the man who held Christen in a tight grip. He grabbed her neck roughly to hold her in place, right in front of his body. A pained whimper escaped the princess's mouth, making Tobin's stomach churn. He held a dagger close to her throat. 

"Sorry T, I've got my orders," he looked at Christen with curious eyes. "It's nothing personal."

"Your loyalty belongs to king Harris, to this kingdom... they will hunt you, Jason," Tobin said, trying to distract him as she moved a few steps closer.

"King Harris is weak. He has ruined this kingdom! Let's face the truth, T. There are others, _better_ people waiting to stake their claim."

Another step forward... they were still too far away. There was no way she'd be able to reach them.

Suddenly, Christen spoke up and what she said made Tobin's blood run cold. 

"It's okay, Tobin." Her voice was even, way too calm, too accepting. "I knew this day would come eventually. I love you so much, Toby... just make sure he doesn't hurt anyone ever again."

_No. No. No._  
Tobin stood paralyzed only a few feet away from the woman she loved. This wasn't happening! This couldn't be happening. She had to do something!

"Brave till the end," Jason acknowledged quietly and Tobin saw his eyes turn steely, determined. _No!!_

"Chris, please fight! Remember your training, please!" Tobin screamed, hoping to get through to her, hoping she'd break the hold.

Their eyes met for only a second and a spark of hope ignited a power that wasn't there before. As if she was watching in slow motion, Tobin saw Christen shift just slightly, biting Jason's arm with full force. His pained yelp echoed through the darkness around them. 

Christen broke the hold, connecting her elbow hard with the guards rips. The dagger fell to the ground with a soft thud as Jason, surprised and in pain, stumbled backwards against a nearby tree. 

Within two steps Tobin had reached Christen, her soft and warm body very much alive but still shaking from the adrenaline. Jumping forward, Tobin drew her sword at just the same moment Jason had grabbed for his own. 

She dodged his strike and rammed her sword right through his torso. Without making a sound he slumped down against the tree.

The guard extracted the sword, looking at the now lifeless body in front of her. The body of someone she'd trusted. There hadn't been another option, especially after Christen's declaration of love. It would've been too dangerous. She sighed and turned away from him.

"Are you okay?" Tobin asked worriedly.

Still staring at the dead body, Christen nodded weakly. "Y-yes" she squeaked. 

"I'm sorry you had to see this." Tobin gently took Christen's hand and tugged her away from Jason.

"I can't believe it was him," the guard admitted disbelievingly. She thought back to their first night and how Jason had offered his help. Rage flared inside her. If she hadn't been there with Christen, he probably would've killed her already.

"- Tobs?"

"Huh?" Lost in her thoughts, she hadn't heard Christen's question.

"I asked what is going to happen with him now? Are- are we going to leave him here?"

Her voice wavered and her face had an almost yellowish glow in the moonlight. 

Tobin shook her head. "No, I'm gonna report this to king Harris after the festival. We should go back. Stay close to me, Chris."  
It sounded like an order but the guard didn't care. Jason had been paid. Someone wanted to kill Christen and claim both kingdoms. 

"It isn't over, is it?" Christen whispered, her fingers holding Tobin's hand tightly, as they walked back to the festival. The guard sighed. "I don't think so..."

They had almost reached the inner courtyard as Tobin stopped abruptly. She needed to talk about this now. Make sure Christen wouldn't...  
"Chris, what you said when- when Jason... I- need you to live, okay? You have to live."

"Do I?" the princess questioned, smiling sadly. "I've lost my family, Tobin. And I'm going to lose you too."

Tobin shook her head violently. "Never, Chris! You're never going to lose me. I love you!" She couldn't help the slight desperation in her voice. 

Christen looked at her with a pained expression. "Don't make promises you can't keep, Toby. If - _when_ I marry Henry, we can't be together anymore. The moment I become his wife I've got to share his room... and his... bed too."

Tobin swallowed against the lump in her throat. The last few days she had firmly avoided thinking about what would happen once Christen was Henry's wife.

"I'll always love you and be by your side, Annemarie," Tobin croaked out softly, confirming again that she'd be there for her even if it was just as a friend.

A single tear ran down Christen's beautiful cheek. "I love you too, Tobin Heath." She bit her lip, looking at the guard with so much love that it made her heart beat faster.

"I want you, Tobin," she whispered almost inaudibly. "I want to experience this for the first time with the person I love."

The guard didn't have to ask what she meant, yet she hesitated. She wanted to be with Christen... so much but...

"Chris, I- are you sure?" Tobin breathed out, trying to clear the fog away and get her thoughts straight.  
A voice in her head, that sounded suspiciously like Mary, sighed loudly.

"If I was a man, I would've courted you, Chris. We would've gone on dates and I would've asked you to marry me and I- I would've made you mine once we got married but- I can't give you that."  
Wide green eyes kept her transfixed.

"I know we can't do any of it, Toby. We only have us, only have this... but that doesn't mean it isn't real. I love you and I want you to make love to me before I have to let go of these feelings forever. Why can't that be enough?"

And it was.

***

They practically ran all the way up to Christen's room. The princess dragging Tobin along, not giving her a chance to think. Her head spun from the night's events. When they reached the familiar corridor, Tobin sighed in relief. It was deserted. Everyone else was still outside enjoying the festival. The guard unlocked the door, ushered the princess inside and found herself pressed against it as Christen took the first chance she got to kiss her desperately. 

Heat rushed through her body as Christen's tongue licked into her mouth.   
_God, it feels so good._  
Tobin had never experienced anything like kissing Christen before. Her knees felt weak and she was glad for the door to keep her upright. Christen taking the lead was calming her nerves a little. At least until the princess spoke again.

"Tobin, please. Undress me," she sighed in between the kisses and Tobin couldn't contain a low moan.   
"Yeah, sure. Okay, I can do that," she panted nervously and helped Christen out of her dress with shaking hands. It fell to the floor unceremoniously. 

If she thought the princess was looking beautiful in her dress, then there were absolutely no words for Christen's beauty without the dress on. Tobin sucked in a deep breath as her eyes roamed over Christen's naked body. Her dark skin looked so soft, so inviting. She wanted to touch, to feel.   
"I- you-" Tobin stuttered, lost for words but again Christen took the lead, pulling the guard closer by her belt. 

"Can I?" she asked softly, letting her hands wander from Tobin's strong shoulder blades to the buttons of her uniform. The guard bit her lip and nodded as Christen slowly started to undress her. The way she fumbled to get Tobin's pants off made her realize that maybe she wasn't the only one being overwhelmed. Maybe Christen was just as nervous. Tobin gently covered Christen's hands with hers. "Let me do it." 

She took off her pants and stood in front of the princess with only her braies on. Christen's eyes were dark, not a trace of green to be seen, as she finally allowed herself to take in Tobin's body.  
"God, Tobin," she whispered and closed the distance, hands itching to touch her well trained torso. 

Christen's hands on her bare skin left a burning sensation. They ignited a fire that the guard had never felt before, a fire she didn't know how to extinguish. There was only one thing on her mind now: _Closer!_

She walked them backwards until Christen's legs hit the bed, the princess landing with a slight squeal, much to Tobin's delight. 

The guard smiled down at the woman she loved. Christen must've been able to read her thoughts.   
"I love you so much," she said softly and then with more urgency. "I need you, Tobin! Please!" 

She didn't know what to do, how to be intimate with her. But she knew what she wanted. She wanted to be as close as possible to Christen, to touch her body, feel her skin against her own. 

After getting rid off the last remaining fabric that separated them, Tobin joined Christen on the bed, pulling her in for another toe curling kiss. Their breasts rubbed deliciously against each other as the kiss got more and more heated.   
_Oh god!_  
Desperate for more skin on skin contact, Christen pulled Tobin on top of her, both moaning at the sensation of their bodies being pressed tightly against each other. 

She couldn't stop kissing her. Needed to kiss her everywhere. Christen's skin was so soft and warm. The guard kissed her neck, sucking and licking at the sensitive skin. _More!_

Christen's hard nipples caught her attention. Cautiously and not without looking at Christen to get her consent, Tobin brushed over her nipple experimentally.  
"God- you- oh, Tobin! Again..." Christen moaned and squirmed beneath her. 

Wetness pooled between her legs but she wasn't the only one. She could feel Christen's arousal against her own thigh. Getting braver, Tobin took Christen's nipple in her mouth and sucked. 

The princess moaned loudly, the sound sending shivers down Tobin's already overheated body. Christen's hips bucked up on their own accord, right against Tobin and that felt-   
_So good! Yes!_

Desperate to feel that kind of friction again, the guard rocked against Christen again and again.   
Her breathing increased and it felt like every muscle in her body tensed up as Christen's hands grabbed her lower back tightly, pulling her down to increase the friction. 

"Don't stop Tobin, please don't stop," Christen begged.

"N-never," Tobin assured her and kissed her again. It felt _so_ good not to hold back anymore. Finally being close to the woman she loved with all her heart. Christen's wetness coated her thigh and suddenly Tobin wanted to do something entirely else. This felt amazing, but she wanted... more.

"Chris- can I- can I touch you?" Tobin asked breathlessly, her left hand slowly trailing down Christen's body.   
Goosebumps erupted all over Christen's skin and she nodded quickly. "Yes. Please."

Tobin's hand stopped just a few inches above the place she desperately wanted to touch, where she could feel the warmth radiating from Christen's body.   
"I love you Christen Annemarie Press," she declared softly, her eyes not leaving Christen's as she finally allowed her hands to touch.

They both let out a groan when Tobin's fingers brushed through Christen's wet heat. The guard worked up a rhythm based on Christen's reactions until-

"Inside! Please Tobin, make me yours," Christen pleaded and Tobin froze momentarily before she nodded. God, this woman would be the death of her.   
This time Christen helped her, guiding her already slick fingers closer to where she needed her the most.

Tobin entered Christen slowly. First with one, then with two fingers. The princess let out a loud moan, throwing her head back.   
"Oh my god Tobin! That's- yes- you feel so good inside of me!"

This feeling was unlike everything she had ever felt before. She felt so close, so connected to the princess. Being able to feel her muscles contract around her fingers, the way her hips rocked against her hand... it was intoxicating. 

"Toby, I'm- God- You-"   
She came with a high pitched sigh, Tobin's fingers buried deep inside her, and pulled the guard up so she could wrap her arms around her until the waves of pleasure slowly subsided. 

"Wow," Tobin breathed out in wonder. "You're so beautiful, Chris. I've never felt anything like that before." Her voice was hoarse and she had to fight back her own emotions. 

Christen just smiled softly, looking disheveled, lips red and swollen and oh so inviting. Tobin already wanted to touch her again. To show her just how much she loved her. To worship her body.

"Tobin?" Christen asked quietly as she felt the guards gaze trailing up and down her body.

"Mhm?" Their eyes met again and there was an intensity in Christen's that made Tobin's heart rate quicken.

"I want to touch you, too."  
The admission was plain and simple and yet the guard had to hold back a groan.  
"Y-you don't have to, I-" Tobin stammered nervously.

"I want to! So much... will you let me?"

_Fuck._

Swallowing hard, the guard nodded. She closed her eyes as she felt the princess's exploring hands wandering over her body until- 

"Chris!" Tobin gasped surprised as Christen kissed a line up her inner thigh. "Wh-what are you d-" the rest of the sentence was drowned out by a low moan as Christen kissed her right between her legs. Tobin threw her head back, hands clawing at the bedsheets as her hips bucked up to meet Christen's tongue.   
_God, she really would be the end of her._

***

Tobin had lost track of time as they made love again and again. 

Exhausted but happier than she'd ever been in her life she lay on the bed, Christen cuddled into her side with her head resting on Tobin's shoulder. This was real. Their love for each other was real. 

"We should put some clothes on," she said reluctantly.

"Just a few minutes longer?" Christen asked with big, hopeful eyes.   
"Ugh Chris, don't look at me like that. Believe me I want to, but it's getting late, the festival is probably almost over. You need to get back." 

"Fine," Christen pouted but gathered Tobin's clothes from the floor. "Let me dress you?"

Tobin would've never thought that Christen helping her to get dressed would feel so intimate but it did. She loved the way Christen straightened Tobin's collar before she pulled her into a loving kiss. Loved how the princess sighed into her mouth. Loved how her hands tickled the soft skin of her neck....

_Focus!_   
Tobin snapped out of it, taking a step away from Christen to clear her head.   
"God, Chris... you drive me crazy," she chuckled softly, shaking her head.

It turned out that getting Christen out of the dress was way easier than getting Christen back into the dress again. Her hair looked too wild, there was no way people wouldn't notice. 

"I uh... don't think your hair looks appropriate, Chris." She threw her an apologetic smile. 

Christen touched her braided hair and sighed. There were lose strands everywhere, this wouldn't do. "Toby you need to help me fix the braids." Sitting down on her chair, she looked at the guard expectantly.

Around 30 minutes (and a lot of fumbling) later, Christen looked presentable again.   
"I wish I could look so effortlessly good like you," the princess admitted, combing Tobin's tousled hair with her hand. The guard closed her eyes at the feeling. 

"You're always magnificent," Tobin replied immediately. _So close_ Tobin could count the freckles on Christen's face. Their lips met again in a passionate kiss, Tobin pressing Christen softly against the stone wall. 

The door burst open and they quickly jumped apart. With horror the guard realized her biggest mistake: she hadn't locked the door when they got back!  
Henry stood in the doorframe, a bewildered expression on his face that left no doubt that he'd seen them kissing. 

"Your highness, you can't just burst into the r-" Ali, sweet Ali, who had apparently run after him, stopped mid sentence and took in the scene in front of her. Their swollen lips, the disheveled hair.

"Henry... I-" Tobin began but didn't know how to finish the sentence. _I'm sorry for betraying your trust. I'm sorry for being in love with your betrothed? I'm sorry for you having to find out like this?_

Henry's face turned red and anger seemed to pulse through his body as he shook his head. "How can you do this to me, Tobin?"   
Tobin's eyes flickered back to Christen who stood rooted against the wall, paler than she'd ever seen her. 

"Stop looking at her!" Henry yelled loudly and the hand close to his sword twitched. She had never seen her friend so out of it. Scared that he might hurt Christen and Ali, she made a decision. She dashed past him and out of the door, not before giving Ali a pointed look and a nod in Christen's direction. As she strode through the room, she almost expected the prince to draw his sword and kill her before she could get out.

He followed her out in the corridor, the lock of the door clicking shut behind them and Tobin thanked god for the clever lady's maid. 

"I'm so sorry, Henry," Tobin pleaded, taking a step forward.   
"I never wanted this to happen! I fought it, but I-" 

"STOP!!" he bellowed and punched her hard in the gut.

Tobin groaned in pain and fell to her knees, hands clutching her stomach. She knew she deserved it. Time to come clean, it couldn't get any worse. 

"Do you actually love her? Because _I_ do. More than anything in the world," the guard pressed out and the prince growled at her, drawing his arm back again, his fist colliding hard with her jaw, sending her tumbling to the ground again. She didn't even try to stop him. 

"You're playing dirty, Tobin!" Henry said with tears in his eyes. "This marriage was about politics, not love! I still would've tried everything to be the husband Christen deserved!" He sounded so desperate and Tobin hated it. 

There was a ringing in her head as she tried to get up. Tears trickled down her cheeks as she used the wall behind her as support to get up. "I'm so sorry Henry," she croaked out. 

"What am I supposed to do now?" Henry asked and for a moment he looked like a lost boy. It broke Tobin's heart.  
"Are you- are you going to tell king Harris about this?"

He stared at her in surprise, his anger seemed to fade away but the look of betrayal stayed. "Are you insane? He would hang you! You're going to hell for what you did with my- with another woman... but I don't want you dead." 

Tobin closed her eyes, willing herself not to throw up. 

"I want you to go... Leave and never come back. Grab your belongings and get out of my castle," he ordered quietly, not looking at her again. 

Tobin swallowed against the lump in her throat and nodded. This was more than she could've hoped for. She knew she couldn't say goodbye to Christen and that the moments of love they'd shared together would be burned into her memory forever.

The guard threw one last longing glance at the door and limped out of the corridor. She would never see the princess again.   
_I've promised her to be by her side no matter what... I'm sorry Chris... I'm so sorry for failing you.._

Silent sobs wrecked her body as she walked down these familiar corridors of the only place she'd ever known as her home.

Her vision blurred so much that she almost walked past her quarters. Inside, she grabbed a large leather bag and carelessly threw most of her belongings in. She grabbed the clothes Christen had worn the day she'd been out as Annemarie and buried her nose in the fabric, hoping the shirt would still hold her sent. It didn't. Tobin let it fall to the ground, hands shaking. 

A part of her wanted king Harris to know. Henry was wrong, they wouldn't hang her in public. King Harris would make sure no one would ever get wind of what happened and kill her on the spot.   
But she made Christen promise her to live, so Tobin would do the same. 

When she left the castle, she didn't dare to look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for sticking around :)  
> I know this chapter left us at a dark place but the next chapter is already written and I promise it'll get better. 
> 
> This was also the first time I've tried to write smut. Please let me know what you think!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you so much for your kind words and for continuing this journey with me.   
> This chapter is still sad but I think it'll give you an idea where this is going ;-)
> 
> Get ready for a few surprises.

Tobin's POV 

Tobin mounted her horse once she moved past the castle's gate, nodding at the guards who covered the night shift. 

Her horse trotted slowly through the empty, dark streets of Portland without Tobin leading the direction. The castle had always been the one place she considered home. Being a royal guard her sole purpose in life. Now that it all had been ripped away, she felt like she didn't have an identity at all. 

_Who is Tobin Heath?_  
She didn't know. Christen once said that all she could do was following orders. Maybe the princess had been right with that. 

Thinking of Christen was a terrible idea. The younger woman's face appeared in front of her whenever she blinked. Tobin couldn't stop the tears as she thought of Christen's panicked face when Henry caught them. 

Would he still treat her right? For a moment, one silly moment in absolute despair, she'd thought about throwing down the gauntlet and fight for Christen's love. 

Shaking her head, Tobin led the horse out of town and through dark fields. She needed a place to sleep and she'd rather spend the night away from prying eyes. 

Wolves were howling somewhere in the forest in front of her. She'd have to work on a fire keep them away. Something about the howling sounded off though. Usually wolves didn't come this close to the edge of the forest.  
Careful, with her sword at the ready, she rode into the forest.

It didn't take her long to find the source of the howling. 

"Stay away from me! Damn it!"

A woman sat on a thick branch of a large tree, surrounded by six wolves who jumped up, trying to get her. The blonde used her feet to kick at them but it was useless. The wolves couldn't reach her yet but they sure wouldn't stop trying.  
Tobin forced her horse to dash right through the pack, making loud noises. It was enough to startle the wolves, force them to scatter and hide in the darkness around them. They were gone, for now. 

"Get down here!" Tobin shouted and gestured to the woman, holding her horse still, right below the tree so she could slid on the horse's back behind Tobin.

Once the woman was seated safely behind her, Tobin forced the horse into a sprint, away from the area. Although a large animal, the size of the horse wouldn't keep the wolves away from them for long and an encounter with a wolf pack was the last thing she'd needed tonight. 

They rode in silence until they were out of the woods. Tobin let out a breath and stopped, the fields surrounding them were easier to oversee in the moonlight. The wolves wouldn't dare to attack in such an area.

She dismounted the horse and held her hand out for the blonde woman to help her but she just shook her head and jumped down gracefully.

"I owe you, Tobin Heath," the blonde said with a grin.

The guard stared at her in surprise. "How do you-" she stopped herself. The woman's voice did seem familiar.   
Her grin broadened. "I'm Megan Rapinoe," she said and stretched her hand out. "We've met a few days ago when you spied on our farm."

Tobin took the offered hand.   
"I didn't spy on you. How exactly did you end up on that tree?" the guard questioned with a raised brow. 

Megan groaned. "I was taking a look at the fence on this side of the property since there has been a lot of damage on the fences lately, and didn't pay attention to the torch. I didn't make it back before it died. Those wolves didn't think twice and chased me up that tree first chance they got."

"I see. Want me to get you back to your farm?" she offered, happy to do something, anything to keep her mind occupied. 

Megan nodded. "Yes, please. What are you doing out here on your own by the way?" 

Tobin climbed back on her horse and waited for Megan to get back up too. "I have nowhere to be anymore," she said in a strained voice. _Nowhere to go. Nothing to lose._

Megan didn't push for details and slowly directed the guard back to the farm. 

"Pinoe!" A woman's voice yelled as they arrived at the farm around ten minutes later. "Damn you, I've been worried when you didn't return!"

"All good, Tobin here helped me." She jumped down and looked expectantly at the guard. "You coming?"

"I- uh-" she stuttered, caught off guard.

Megan gave her a smile. "You said you had nowhere to be."

She got down from her horse and tied it to the fence close to the barn. 

"Tobin, this is Meghan Klingenberg," the blonde introduced them as they shook hands. 

"Nice to meet you," the tiny brunette offered as they walked into the house. 

The flickering light of candles illuminated a large kitchen. Just now Tobin could see the dirt and some bloody scrapes that covered Megan's torso. 

"Ouch, Pinoe! What the hell happened to you?!"

The blonde sighed as they sat down at the long kitchen table and told her story.

***

"Guess I can throw those away," Megan said in annoyance as she tugged at her ripped shirt. "These aren't sturdy enough."

Her eyes wandered up and down Tobin’s body. “Where did you get these clothes?”  
The guard looked at her in surprise. “I’ve made them. The ordinary guard uniforms didn’t fit my body.”

“Do you think you could make more of them? About 50 more?”

Tobin nodded slowly. “I could.”

The other women looked at each other, apparently having a silent conversation. The blonde suddenly stretched out her hand.   
“Welcome to Re.” 

“R-re?” Tobin repeated irritated. The shorter Meghan took a step forward.   
“Short for revolution. We’re an organization that offers shelter for women in danger or-“ she paused. “Women like you, whose lifestyles do not line up with what is expected from them. This farm here is run by only women.”

Tobin stared at them. “What? Women can’t manage a farm this large all alone,” she said matter of factly. 

Megan snorted. “Just like a woman can’t become a royal guard?”

Heat creeped up her neck. She definitely had a point. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. It’s just... I’ve never heard of a place like this before.”

The blonde rolled her eyes, sighing theatrically. The move looked somewhat familiar.   
“You! You’re Mary’s granddaughter!” Tobin exclaimed, pointing at Megan with an outstretched arm. 

“Told you that you’re just like her,” a tall brunette woman chuckled as she entered the farm’s kitchen, stepping closer to them. Tobin’s eyes widened as she kissed Megan lovingly on the lips. The guard felt like she was intruding a very intimate moment with how intense their looks were. 

Now Tobin understood why Mary had sent her to her granddaughter. She obviously fancied the company of women, too.   
_Just how many of us are out there?_  
She got ripped out of her thoughts as the brunette introduced herself:  
“Good evening, my name is Sue.”

“Tobin,” the guard offered with a nod and a small smile.

“Our newest Re- member!” Megan supplied, flinging her arm around Tobin’s shoulder. “She helped me out of a very uncomfortable situation.” 

Sue’s eyebrows shot up. “Do I want to know?”

The three women shook their heads simultaneously.   
“You know what, I’m not gonna ask then,” the brunette said and left the room.   
It was obvious that the couple had been together for a few years already. It still amazed her how two women could make such a stunning couple.   
_Why does that surprise you? You and Christen were just the same. Were_.   
The past tense felt wrong. 

Tobin’s sad thoughts must’ve shown on her face, as the blonde woman was looking at her with concern.   
“Hey, are you okay?”

The guard sighed. Her head still spun from last night’s events. The memories suffocating her. These were women like her. Women like Ash and Ali. If she couldn’t tell them, she could not tell anyone.   
“I... had to uh- flee tonight. From the castle,” Tobin started hesitantly, avoiding their glances. 

Meghan cocked her head to the side. “Ohhkay. Why?”

_Because I got caught kissing the princess after making love to her._  
The blush intensified. “Because the princess of LA and I got caught in a ... situation.”

Megan let out a whistling sound. „Knew you were one of us! But the princess? Holy shit! You’ve been with the princess? I’ve heard she’s very beautiful.”

“Don’t let Sue hear you,” the short brunette laughed. 

Megan rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the guard. “You’re lucky they didn’t kill you,” she said seriously. 

“I know,” Tobin said, sitting down on one of the kitchen chairs. She swallowed against the lump in her throat. “I wish they had.”

“Jesus Christ, you’re in love with the princess, aren’t you?” Megan concluded, mouth agape. 

Tobin nodded miserably and buried her face in her hands. She couldn’t cry. Not right now. _Deep breaths._

Megan’s hand rested soothingly on her shoulder, giving her a light squeeze. “Does she feel the same?”  
The way the blonde didn’t question their different social standings had Tobin looking up. “Yes.”

“But she’s still gonna marry the prince of Portland?”

“Yes,” Tobin repeated, voice cracking. 

“I’m sorry Tobin. I can’t imagine what I’d feel if my Sue would marry someone else,” Megan said quietly. “Come on, I’ll show you your room. Get some rest.” 

The room on the first floor was simple but spacious. About twice the size her quarters in the castle had been. Sunlight peaked trough a large window, painting the room in a cozy orange light. It had to be early in the morning already. The bed was bigger than the one she has had in the castle and looked more comfortable.

Tobin fell to her knees the moment Megan had closed the door. She felt empty, her heart shattered into a million pieces. She had lost it all in one single moment. Christen, Henry’s trust, her home... there was nothing left. 

Later on she couldn’t tell how long she’d been lying on the floor. If it were only a few hours or the whole night, Tobin didn’t know. At some point her exhausted body drifted into a restless sleep, haunted by loving green eyes and the look of betrayal on Henry’s face. 

***

Minutes blurred into hours and Tobin found herself working hard on the farm. Megan and Meghan kept her occupied with making clothes for the other re- members. She volunteered for every possible task just to keep her mind away from Christen. As long as she moved, as long as her muscles burned from exhaustion, her mind gave her peace. 

She was on her way to clean the stables when a hand on her shoulder stopped her. Her instincts told her to be cautious but her mind couldn’t seem to care. Instead of a defensive reaction, she just turned around and stared blankly into the concerned eyes of Megan Rapinoe.   
“You’ve done enough for today, Tobin” the blonde told her firmly. The guard shook her head.   
“No.”

“Tobin, the wedding is in two days! It’s over. You need to move on.”

Just as she thought those broken pieces couldn’t get any worse, Megan’s words pulverized the remaining bits of her heart.   
Pain flooded her chest.   
“Two- two days?” she whimpered. “How am I supposed to let go? She means the world to me.”

Megan sighed sadly. “I don’t know... write about it or something?”

Writing? She didn’t think that would help, it reminded her of Christen. Everything reminded her of Christen.  
 _Work!_

She nodded but grabbed the bucket to go to the stables.   
Megan blocked her way.  
“Stop! Damn it, Tobin! Your hands are already bleeding. Go and rest!” 

The guard looked down on her hands. They were swollen and her palms sticky with blood.   
“Oh. I didn’t notice,” Tobin mumbled, a wave of exhaustion suddenly hitting her. 

„Go,“ Megan repeated again and this time Tobin complied. 

Back in her room the guard sat on her bed, knees drawn to the chest, staring into space. Time flew by and as the day ended. She skipped dinner, not feeling hungry at all. Her eyes felt dry, there were no more tears left in her as she laid back against the cushions.   
Maybe Megan was right, maybe writing a letter to Christen would help letting go of her feelings. 

Tobin went downstairs to look for quill and parchment paper and found Sue still sitting at the large kitchen table, the room only lit by the two candles on the table. 

“Hungry?” she asked the guard softly.

“No, thank you. I was looking for some writing utensils?”

The brown haired woman nodded and got up. “Megan loves to write, we keep it all here on the top shelf.” She went to the large oak shelf close to the backdoor and handed Tobin a quill, an inkwell and parchment.   
“Thank you, Sue... and thank you for your hospitality. I know I’m not a joy to be around right now,” the guard mumbled and tried to smile gratefully. 

“You’re fine, Tobin,” Sue soothed softly. 

Not trusting her voice, Tobin nodded. “Can I- can I write it down here?” 

“Of course, take a seat,” Sue agreed easily and pulled one of the chairs out. Tobin appreciated that she went back to her book instead of watching her write. 

Sitting in front of the blank paper, Tobin thought about her feelings but the words just wouldn’t come. It wasn’t possible to describe what she felt, she couldn’t do it. 

“Having trouble to find the right words?” Sue asked quietly, eying the guard from behind her book. 

“I- I don’t... I wanted to write about my feelings for- for Christen but I just-“   
The guard sighed again and stared back down at the empty parchment.

Sue gave her a sympathetic smile. “Why don’t you just write a letter? Write down everything you wished you could’ve said to her? Anyways, it’s getting late. I’m going to bed. Good night, Tobin.”

She patted Tobin’s shoulder and disappeared in the stairwell. 

Sitting in the dimly lit kitchen the guard thought about it. That seemed like a good idea. She had so much to say to Christen. So many things she had wanted her to know. Taking a deep breath, Tobin grabbed the quill again and started to write...

***

The next morning rolled around and Tobin felt lighter than before. Although Christen would never read the letter, it felt cathartic to write it to her.

She went down to breakfast, something she hadn’t done yet, and was surprised how many women sat at the table.  
The large, L shaped kitchen was buzzing with more than 30 women.

“Good morning,” Megan greeted her from the far end of the table before raising her voice. “Listen up everyone, this is our newest member. Tobin Heath!” 

She bowed a little in greeting as some of them waved or introduced themselves.

Seated next to a tall, broad shouldered older woman named Abby, she ate her breakfast in silence. Her stomach appreciated the food after three days without anything substantial. Luckily, the women seemed to understand that she wasn’t in the mood for talking and left her alone. She had a feeling that Megan might’ve told them to. 

After breakfast she got up to retrieve the letter she’d put to the writing utensils but it was gone.

Tobin looked around in panic. Where was it?!

“Are you looking for something?”  
Sue stood next to her, hands on her hips and gave her a curious look.

“The- the letter I wrote last night! It’s gone! I put it onto the shelf.”

A strange expression appeared on Sue’s face. “Oh god, I’m sorry Tobin but I didn’t look who it was for and took it with me to the post office early this morning.”

“The post office?” the guard repeated weakly. “You mean... the letter got sent to Christen?” 

“It seems so.” 

Tobin felt sick. 

“I’m so, so sorry! I thought it was one of Megan’s.”

Swallowing hard, the guard could only nod before she stormed outside. Without any direction in mind, she walked briskly past the stables.

Someone called her name but she ignored it, not slowing down. 

“Tobin! Wait!” 

It was Megan. Sighing, the guard came to a stop. She turned around and saw the blonde jogging up to her.  
“Where... are you... going?” she panted, holding her aching rips. 

“I don’t know,” Tobin replied stubbornly. “Just leave me alone, Megan.” 

“At least do something useful? I need someone to help me and Abby repair the fence on the south side?” 

“Fine. Let’s go then,” the guard agreed reluctantly, hoping that hard work would shut her mind off.

***

The three women rode along the fence to examine the damage. Wood slats laid all over the place like someone had tried to tear the whole fence down. 

“What the heck?!” Megan mumbled with a frown as she took in the damage. “That must’ve been some angry boars.”

Tobin jumped out of the saddle and kneeled down in the mud, taking a closer look at the slats. 

“This was caused by humans, not animals,” Tobin stated calmly. 

Megan frowned. “Are you sure?”

Tobin nodded grimly. “Very. Look at the slats, they’re not broken, they’re torn off.”

Abby swore and climbed off the horse as well. “She’s right, Pinoe.” 

Megan’s frown deepened. “Why would someone damage the fence on such a large area?!”

Tobin surveyed the area and suddenly it hit her like a battering ram. “Because your property goes all the way back to the border to LA! It’s an easy way to get in without attracting much attention!”

Panic flooded her, if they’d already destroyed the fence they’d make a move soon. 

“Well done, Tobin Heath,” a cold voice congratulated her as two heavily aimed men walked out of the shadows. Tobin balled her hands into fists, ready to fight for Abby and Megan. 

Her body was still sore from overworking herself these past days but before she could even move a toe, Megan leaped out of her Seattle. Her knee connected hard with one of the men’s head, making him tumble to the ground. Abby used the other man’s momentary distraction to make a move too. Within seconds both men were on the floor, knocked out cold.

Tobin gaped at them. “H-how did you?” she asked, completely flabbergasted. Their movements were so quick, so well placed that Tobin was certain their skills rivaled hers.

Abby smirked confidently, hands on her hips. “You didn’t think you were the only one who knew how to fight, did you?”

Megan brushed off some dirt from her pants. “It seems like we have a lot to talk about. C’mon, help me truss them up.”

Tobin did as she was told, still too used to follow orders. “You mean all these woman working with you... they all know how to fight?”

Megan nodded. “We’re not only a safe place for women. We also teach them how to defend themselves.”

Tobin couldn’t believe it. How did nobody know that Re existed? 

“Not all of us like to fight though,” Abby elaborated with a fond smile on her face. “My love Glennon for example is completely against it.”

***

"How do you know my name?!" Tobin inquired sharply.

The man laughed out loud. "We know everything about the royal guard."

"Jason," Tobin mumbled through gritted teeth. She should've known he'd given them insider information.

Megan pressed the dagger against his throat. It wasn't enough to make it bleed but enough to cause discomfort.  
"How many? Don't make me ask again."

He struggled against the hold but couldn't break free.   
"120, maybe more. When the royals are dead and the new order is established, I'll make it my personal mission to kill you!" He threatened with a sneer. 

Tobin couldn't stand it anymore and knocked him out. Megan threw Tobin a quizzical glance but the guard shook her head.   
"Too many. The royal guard isn't in a position to fight that many people. They'll kill everyone... I- I have to get back." 

"Aren't they going to kill you if you try to go back to the castle?" Megan asked with a frown.

"They might... but I'd rather die trying to safe them than sitting here doing nothing."

The short haired woman nodded slowly. " I understand. You need to make sure your love is safe. I'd do the same, if it was Sue." She looked lovingly at her partner. "What can we do to help?"

"I can't ask you to-"  
"You're not. I'm offering. It's time to fight for our all's safety. You've heard him," she gestured towards the unconscious man on the ground. "If they succeed, there will be no safe place left. King Harris might not be perfect but he is fair. He leaves us alone."

There was nothing to argue about. Megan was right, it was time to put faith into their own hands and fight for what they believed in. 

"Thank you, Megan," Tobin said earnestly, stretching out her hand for a handshake.

The woman rolled her eyes, sidestepped the hand and pulled  
Tobin into a hug instead.   
"You're welcome. And my friends call me Pinoe."


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween! 
> 
> This time you'll find out what happened in the castle after Tobin left. Hope you enjoy this chapter and have a wonderful weekend.   
> Huge thanks to those of you, who have taken the time to write a comment. It means the world :)

Christen's POV 

Once the prince had followed Tobin into the corridor, Ali almost jumped for the door and locked it.  
Henry had looked so angry. Their muffled voices came out of the corridor. Christen's worries skyrocketed as she heard something that sounded like an angry scream. 

"I need to talk to Henry, calm him down. What if he hurts her?! Open the door, Ali!" Christen's voice rose with every word but the lady's maid shook her head.

"And what exactly do you want to tell him that could calm him down?! You can't do anything for Tobin right now, Chris! It's too dangerous. Let her handle it," she tried to reason but the princess shook her head. 

"What if he kills her? Ali, _please_ ," she begged again. The way the lady's maid closed her eyes for a second made her stomach drop. 

"Chris, Tobin knew about the consequences of her actions all along." 

The princess had to will herself not to break. Had she really been this naive? Being with Tobin had felt so good... how could it be wrong? In her favorite book, the princess and her subject lived happily ever after... but right now Tobin was out there with Henry. Alone.   
Christen couldn't imagine Tobin putting up a fight, if he actually wanted to kill her. She wouldn't hurt her friend.

Desperation filled every single cell of her body. Her gaze fell onto the sheath standing next to her bed. 

"Chris what-" 

"Open the door, Ali," the princess cut her off and drew her sword. "I won't let him kill her." 

Ali stared at her as if she was insane and maybe she was but she was done with everyone making the decisions for her. Done with being treated like a precious, breakable toy.

"You can't be-" Ali tried but was again interrupted by the princess. 

"Open the door!" Christen ordered loudly. Her voice shook but the hand that held the sword was completely steady. 

The lady's maid complied and opened the door slowly. Christen, sword in a death grip, ran into the corridor but there was no sight of Tobin. Only Henry sat down against the wall, unshed tears glimmering in his eyes. He looked at Christen and got up, trying to blink his tears away.

"Sorry to disappoint you, my lady, but Tobin is gone," he spat out bitterly as Christen scanned the corridor for her guard. "I banned her from the castle's grounds. She won't come back."   
The "for you" was left unspoken but Christen heard it anyway. The prince just shook his head and left the corridor without another word. 

Christen slowly walked back into her room and sank down on her bed. She felt numb and empty. Her surroundings seemed to blur still clutching the sword in her now shaking hands. The sword Tobin had gotten for her...

As the first sob escaped her mouth Ali was by her side, holding her tightly in her arms. They sat like that for what felt like hours until Christen was too exhausted to cry anymore.   
"Don't you have questions?" she asked the lady's maid weakly, accepting the wet cloth she held out for her. 

Ali shook her head. "You love her. No questions needed."  
The princess sat up straighter. Ali didn't seem surprised.   
"You knew? You're not... disgusted?" she asked in a small voice but Ali shook her head again and gave her another comforting hug.  
"Chris, you're my best friend. I could never hate you. But yes, I knew... we are kind of in the same situation."

"What are you talking about?" Christen inquired, furrowing her brows in confusion. 

The lady's maid sighed. "Chris, I'm in love with a woman, too. Remember Ash? She was with me when you and the prince were down at the archery range. She's my... my partner."

Christen's mouth fell open. "What?! But we just got here a few weeks ago!" 

Ali smiled guiltily at her. "Ash isn't from Portland. We've met back in LA... she uh- she followed us on the way to Portland and found a job here as a cook so she could be with me." 

A wave of dizziness hit Christen as she tried to grasp what the lady's maid was telling her. "Why didn't you tell me?" 

"Well, why you haven't told me about Tobin?" the lady's maid retorted. "I was scared of your reaction, Chris. I didn't want to lose your friendship."

Christen shook her head violently. "You're my best friend, Ali. Nothing can ever change that," she basically repeated Ali's words from earlier. "I would've never asked you to accompany me to Portland if I had known... I'm really sorry." She scooted back on the bed to lean against the headboard, pulling her knees up to her chest. 

"Nonsense. As if I would've let you go alone! Ash and I love Portland and since we both live in the castle, it has been so much easier for us to be together here." The dreamy and happy look was an expression she'd never seen on her friend's face before. 

"What am I supposed to do now, Ali? Henry banned her... I'll- I'll never get to see her again. She's gone."

The lady's maid leaned back against the headboard too. "You still want to marry Henry? I thought once you and Tobin figured it out you might-" she stopped herself mid sentence. "It's hard to see you both suffer."

Christen looked at the closed door. "I have to. It's my responsibility as the- the queen of LA to help my people." 

***

To Christen's relief, Henry avoided speaking to her the next few days. Whenever they were forced to talk to each other they kept the conversations short and polite.

Although she had Ali and also Ash, after the blonde officially introduced herself to her as Ali's partner, and even Kelley and Mal, Christen felt lonely. None of them could take away the emptiness she felt deep in her heart. 

Two guards were following her around at all times now, her room being the only exception.   
With every passing day Christen felt like the time with Tobin had been nothing more than a wonderful dream. She missed Tobin's blinding smile, her soft brown eyes and that calmness she felt whenever the guard was around. She missed their nightly conversations, missed being held until she fell asleep. She just missed everything.

A tear threatened to fall as Christen entered the dining room and she hastily blinked it away. King Harris had planned a dinner for the 'whole' family. 

"Good evening," Christen curtsied as she saw her aunt and uncle sit next to king Harris and queen Eliza. Kelley was nowhere to be seen. On the other side of the table were Henry and Mal deep in conversation. 

King Harris greeted her effusively, giving his son a pointed look. Henry stood up, his face turning crimson as he greeted her appropriately.   
Did king Harris know about Tobin? Christen had wondered what Henry told the king where Tobin had disappeared to but she didn't dare to ask.

Poking at her food, she didn't really follow the conversations around the table until king Harris said something that made her grip the fork in her hand tightly. 

"Henry and I thought it might be the best for you to go back to LA the day after the marriage. We discussed inviting the lords and dukes to celebrate the marriage with you. Henry needs to make some connections in your kingdom and your uncle has already offered to help." 

'We' didn't seem to include Christen. They already made decisions without her. 

"What about the riots? What about those separatists who have killed my family and are _still_ terrorizing the kingdom?" Christen asked through gritted teeth. 

King Harris froze, fork halfway to his mouth. "I'm sorry, my lady. Of course you won't have to worry about your safety. We will have guards accompany you back to LA to keep you safe and make it known that the kingdom of Portland is with you at all times," he explained with a fatherly expression but Christen felt about ready to explode. His words rubbed her the wrong way. 

"I don't care for my safety. I worry about the people of LA! I have _seen_ the terror these criminals have brought to the towns on my way here, king Harris!" she pressed, trying to keep the anger out of her voice. 

King Harris exchanged a look with Henry. "Christen," he began slowly, as if talking to a small child, "our main priority is stabilizing the monarchy and save your family's legacy. The subjects need a strong leader who is able to put these separatists in their place."

"You mean someone who is able to _pay_ others to enforce it", Christen thought grimly but nodded. 

"Besides, you shouldn't have to worry about such things, my lady. Once you and Henry are settled in and start having a family of your own, you'll be occupied."

Christen's stomach churned at those words but she didn't seem to be the only one uncomfortable at the table. Henry stared down at his potatoes, as if they were the most fascinating food he'd ever seen and Mal, who sat across from Christen, looked as if she wanted to throw up too. 

Christen stayed quiet for the rest of the dinner, rearranging her food on the plate to make it seem as if she'd eaten enough.  
When it was time to head upstairs Christen took her chance and stopped Henry.

"Prince Henry, can I please talk to you for a second in private?" she asked politely and loud enough that the prince wouldn't be able to say no without sounding rude.

"Of course, my lady."   
He followed her outside and into the entrance hall, out of earshot. The royal guards eyed them curiously. 

"What can I do for you?" Henry asked brusquely, crossing his arms in front of his chest. 

Christen steeled herself. "I thought you wanted us to be equals, that conversation didn't sound like that at all," she stated quietly. 

Henry's face turned red. "My father has more experience when it comes to reigning a kingdom. Of course he'd give advise."

The princess sighed and ran a hand through her curls. "I know and I appreciate his help... but shouldn't we also try to find our own way to reign the kingdom?" she inquired, watching his every move. She needed to know this, needed to know for what kind of life she'd given up everything.

Henry stared back at her and chuckled darkly.  
"Just so you know it, Christen. You're not the only one giving up something- someone you love, for this."  
He looked past her to the stairwell where Mal stood and waited for them.

_Mal._  
Christen's eyes widened. He was in love with her cousin! 

"Henry... will you try to build up LA with me and make it a safe place or not?" she asked bluntly, ignoring his almost confession for now. 

The prince sighed. "My father is right. We need allies to do it. It will take time. You should let the men worry about it. Not like you could fight with us." 

The way he said it made Christen very much want to fight with him right now.

"Excuse me? As far as I know, Tobin was the best fighter the royal guard had. And she's a woman too."

Henry squirmed and Christen couldn't help the satisfied smirk that appeared on her face. 

"That's different! She's- you can't-" he stammered and then shook his head. "I gave you my word to treat you as an equal, my lady." He emphasized the title, wanting to go back to an appropriate conversation. "But I'm not willing to walk blindly into a fight I cannot win." He bid her good night without another word and left.

"Everything okay?" Mal asked as they climbed up the stairs together. "That looked like a heated discussion."

Christen tried to give her a reassuring smile. "It's fine, no need to worry."

"Oh... good, I'm glad," she replied but it sounded half heartedly.   
God, this arranged marriage had already broken so many hearts. 

***

The closer the wedding got, the more time Christen spend alone in her room. She didn't even try to attend the meals anymore. 

Ali was currently pacing back and forth in front of her bed. The wedding was tomorrow and Christen had absolutely no energy left to get out of her bed. She's been laying flat on her back, looking at the high ceiling.

“Chris, are you sure you wanna live this life?”

The princess stared back at her emotionless. “Yes. I want to be there for my people.”

“How can you be there for your people when you’re not even living?!” The lady’s maid exclaimed angrily. 

“What are you talking about? I’m very much alive!"

“You’re not! You haven’t been eating! You look like you haven’t slept for days! Not since T-“

“Don’t say her name!” Christen begged. “Please don’t...”

Ali nodded slowly. “Chris, this isn’t healthy.”

She knew it wasn't. But this had been the plan all along. Her parents had wanted her to marry Henry. To have king Harris influence the way the kingdom will be reigned. No matter what king Harris and Henry thought, she wasn't just a naive young woman. Politics were important. All she was asking for, was to get the chance to help those in need and to be active herself.

A knock on the door startled them. Ali opened it cautiously. It was one of the guards. "Your highness, prince Henry wants to see you in his room," he announced loudly. 

"In his room?" Christen repeated, fully aware that it was an inappropriate request of him wanting to see her without a chaperone. 

"It seemed urgent," the guard answered with a blank expression.  
Christen and Ali shared a look. "Give me a minute to get ready."

"As you wish, your highness," he said and bowed. 

"What does he want?" Ali voiced what they both had thought. 

"I have not the slightest idea."   
Had something happened? Did he want to cancel the wedding? 

Ali helped her into a wide, plain dress.   
"Want me to come with you? What if this is a trap?"

Christen shook her head. "It's okay. I've got the guards with me."

The lady's maid didn't look convinced but nodded anyway, accepting her decision. 

The way towards Henry's room through the dark castle seemed endless. Her usual two guards escorted Christen all the way and took place on both sides of the dark corridor, apparently having the order to stay out of the way.

The princess knocked on Henry's door. "Come in!" 

Christen had never been to Henry's room before. It was humongous. The prince sat at a large Mahagoni table, lit by only a few candles.

He looked up from the stack of papers he's been sorting through.  
"Good evening, prince Henry," Christen greeted politely as she moved closer to the table but he didn't return it. He just snorted and slid a piece of parchment over to her.   
"Do you and Tobin have a death wish?" Henry wondered out loud. "This came today! If my father had seen that..."

The princess didn't recognize the signet but recognized the handwriting immediately.  
Christen gripped the parchment tightly with both hands. She knew that scrawl by heart. _Tobin._   
The ink was smudged where teardrops had probably fallen onto the paper. The princess sat down on a chair and started to read. 

_Dear Christen,_

_I've found a safe place with Mary's granddaughter, not too far away from Portland castle. You'd love it here, it's the largest farm I've ever seen and there are so many women here. Women like you and me... They have lots of animals and each animal even has a name. I wish I could show you this place..._

_God, Chris, I miss you so much.  
Whenever I close my eyes I see your beautiful smile right in front of me. There hasn't been a single moment you haven't been on my mind. _

_I'll never forgive myself that I wasn't able to keep my promise to stay by your side but just know that no matter where I'll go, no matter how far we're apart, my heart will always be with you, Annemarie._

Her own hot tears dropped onto the parchment, smudging the inc even further as Christen continued to read. 

_You have changed my life forever, have taught me what it means to love and to feel loved.  
You've saved me, Chris. Please don't miss me too much. We're might not meant to be together in this life but I'll patiently wait for you on the other side once my time has come.   
I love you, Chris. Forever. I can't wait to see you again someday._

_Toby  
_

Christen's hands trembled as the tears ran freely down her cheeks. She didn't bother to hide them from Henry anymore. 

"I love you too, Toby," she whispered almost inaudibly. Pressing the letter tightly to her chest, she looked up to see Henry stare at her with a shocked and almost sympathetic expression. 

_No._

"You never had the chance to win my heart, Henry," Christen began softly. "It's been with Tobin from the start. I'm deeply sorry we caused you all this pain. I can't hope for your forgiveness... I also can't marry you tomorrow. I'll abdicate immediately as the sovereign of LA and clear the way for my uncle's family. This is not the life I can live." Her voice got stronger with every word and she meant them.

The prince didn't look fazed, there also wasn't any anger or betrayal in his eyes either. Instead he nodded and got up.   
"I can see now how much you love each other. I don't understand... but I don't have to understand you to accept you and your decisions," he said and held out his hand.

This was so much more than she had anticipated. Her first impression hadn't been wrong, Henry was indeed a good person, just not the right person for her. 

"Want me to accompany you to my father?" He offered and Christen gratefully accepted, not looking forward to that discussion at all.

They left Henry's room together and looked for the guards but the corridor was empty. 

"Where are they? They were supposed to stand guard in the corridor!" Henry murmured irritated but Christen had already spotted the puddle of blood on the floor where one of the guards had stood a few minutes ago. She tugged on his sleeve and pointed towards it. 

Henry's eyes widened and he nodded, leading them back into his room. He grabbed a sword from a rack. "Stay here and lock yourself in." 

"No."

"N-no?" he repeated uncertainly.

Christen took one of the remaining swords determinedly. "I'm coming with you. Tobin trained me."

Henry gaped at her for a second but a loud bang that echoed through the hallways snapped him out of it. "Okay. Good. She's a good teacher. Let's go then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting closer to the end! Only a few more chapters to come. 
> 
> Stay safe and see you soon!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! 
> 
> I know, I'm repeating myself but your comments made me so happy! I'm so grateful for all the love this universe has gotten. 
> 
> There are some warnings for this chapter. Please read with caution as it contains **violence** and **death**.  
> I know that this chapter is going to be a heavy one but again: this story will have the happy ending you all deserve!

Tobin's POV

Again the kitchen was full of people. Pinoe had made sure everyone was here. It was the first time since Tobin arrived, that she really got to meet _all_ Re-members.

Standing in front of them, Megan cleared her throat.  
"I'm sorry for dragging you away from the tasks you were doing, but this is urgent," the blonde announced loudly. "Portland's royals are under attack. We've captured a few men on our territory. They're planning to kill our royals and princess Christen of LA."

The looks the women exchanged ranged from "Why would I care?" to worried. Tobin shifted her weight from one foot to another, itching to ride to the castle and make sure her friends and Christen were safe. 

Megan waited until all eyes were back on her and continued:  
"These men are ruthless in their strive for power. I won't lie to you," she paused, looking at Sue, who nodded encouragingly. "I cannot guarantee everyone's safety should they succeed."

A murmur went through the crowd. Again Megan waited until she had everyone's attention. The way she talked somehow reminded Tobin of king Harris. Megan was a natural leader, outspoken and smart. 

"I'll leave the choice to you, my friends. Whether you decide to fight for our freedom or not, will not affect the way we treat you here." 

"Where are they coming from? Portland doesn't have riots like LA. The majority of this kingdom stands behind king Harris as its leader," a young and pale woman reasoned.

Megan nodded. "We believe those who are behind it are the same separatists, that have killed the queen and king of LA. They're here to kill the princess and destabilize this kingdom as well," the blonde explained calmly.

"Our Tobin here," she gestured in Tobin's direction. "Grew up in the castle and served as a royal guard. She'll get us inside."

The guard, who stood a few feet behind Megan, nodded stiffly. Feeling slightly uncomfortable with all intention on her, Tobin forced herself to stand still and kept her head up high. It was something she had learned during her trainings for the ceremonial guard parades. 

This was the moment, Tobin had dreaded the most. Before Megan gathered everyone in the kitchen, they had discussed how much they wanted to share with them about Tobin's personal reasons to go to the castle. Megan had offered to keep her secret but Tobin had declined. If these women decided to fight alongside her, putting their lives on the line, she wanted them to know the truth. 

"This is not only a mission to defend our freedom," Megan began, eyes meeting Tobin's for a last reassurance. "It's also a rescue mission to get Tobin's love, the princess of LA, safely out of the castle." 

The silence, that followed Megan's statement was deafening. Tobin felt her face heating up under the stares. It was Abby who broke the silence. 

"You mean... the princess is one of us?" the tall woman questioned perplex, as she pointed at Glennon and herself. 

"Yeah," Tobin confirmed hoarsely. "Christen and I have been... have been together."   
It still wasn't easy to admit but it also didn't feel like she needed to be ashamed of it. Their love was special, something to be proud of and Tobin wouldn't allow herself to denigrate it anymore.

Abby let out a low whistle. "Wow." She clapped her hands and stood up. "Well, let's go and get your girl."

Tobin smiled a tight lipped smile.   
_If only it were that easy._

A few of the other women grinned, though. Abby's comment had broken the ice and the guard was very grateful for that. It felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. They didn't have time to discuss things further, not if they wanted to make it to the castle before the separatists. 

Megan seemed to think the same. "I want those of you who are willing to join Tobin, Kling, Sue and me to get ready. Wear the uniforms Tobin made. They're more sturdy. We'll meet you outside in ten minutes." 

Tobin followed Megan outside, not looking back. Each person, who was willing to risk their life for this, was too much to bear. She hated the thought of any of them getting hurt.

The smaller Meghan was watching her, her arms crossed in front of her chest. "I know what you think, Tobin. But we have just as much to loose as you. Re is everything to us. This farm has become a home to all of us. It's worth fighting for and we all know the risks."

"I'm still sorry for dragging you into this," Tobin said quietly. 

"You're not. We're all grown women here," Pinoe said and nodded into the direction of the door.

Tobin's mouth fell open as the Re members emerged one by one. They all wore the fitted uniforms she'd spend her days and most of her nights working on since she'd come here.

Some were armed with a crossbow, others had swords and large sticks. With a few exceptions, the whole Re group stood in front of her, looking like a small army. She couldn't believe it.

"Lead the way, Heath," Abby said with a grin. The tall and muscular woman looked absolutely intimidating. 

Tobin grinned back at her. After what she'd done to the men on the Re property, she couldn't wait to see Abby in action again. This kind of trust and leadership was new to Tobin but she wouldn't back down now. Christen and her friends needed her. 

The plan was simple. They'd ride up to the north side of the castle, where the younger and top inexperienced women would stay behind with the horses.

There was a tunnel, hidden from plain sight, that would lead them right into the castle and the corridor where the king and queen had their rooms, only three floors below Christen's. It was king Harris' personal escape route and only known by a few trusted guards. 

Tobin had stood guard at the end of it several times and knew the sparsely guarded tunnel was their best chance to get in without drawing attention to them.

Mounting her horse, Tobin's thoughts were spiraling out of control. She'd do anything to see Christen again, even if it only was for a short moment. But would she be strong enough to walk away from the princess, once she was out of danger?

"Follow me," the guard shouted, once everyone was ready. Tobin forced her horse to gallop through the woods and towards the castle. The nightmare, she's had several weeks ago of Christen being murdered in the castle, played in front of her eyes.  
 _No!_

This would never happen. She would find Christen and together with Re they'd get out there unharmed... as long as the guards would fight alongside them and not against them. Tobin worried her bottom lip. Most of the men she had served with, would never lay a hand on a woman. She just hoped that would still be the case when they were armed. 

Looking back, Tobin couldn't tell how much time it took for them to finally reach the castle. It felt like an eternity and at the same time like it hadn't been long enough to prepare. 

Dismounting the horse, she handed the reins to Sophia, a young woman who'd just recently joined Re. 

Tobin took her sword and cut through the thick plants that had grown over the hidden entrance. 

The way through the tunnel was longer than Tobin remembered.   
After more than ten minutes the tunnel finally turned upwards. So far, they hadn't encountered a guard, which had Tobin's worries skyrocketing. What if the separatists already got in? They had Jason's knowledge after all. 

They entered the corridor where the royals had their rooms.

"Were is king Harris' room?" Pinoe whispered quietly.

Tobin pointed to a door to their right but made no move to go there. 

"Christen's room is not on this floor."

"I think it might be best, if we split up. You focus on finding the princess. We'll try to find the royals and protect them," the blonde decided.

Tobin, along with Crystal, Tierna and a dark haired woman she didn't know the name of, ran through the hallway and into another one that lead to the stairwell. 

They heard noises coming out of the corridor above them and Tobin recognized that voice. The male voice was Henry's! 

She rushed up the stairs and into the hallway, almost colliding with the prince.

"Tobin!" Henry exclaimed in shock. He had his hand at his sheath. The guards, who accompanied him, were quicker. Three swords were drawn in a split second. The prince waved them off.  
"Weapons down!" 

"You're in danger!" Tobin warned just as the other members of Re entered the hallway. "They're trying to kill you all!"

The guard had expected Henry to be scared or at least worried but the prince was unusually calm. He held the hand of Christen's cousin, who definitely looked more rattled. 

"I know. Christen and I got attacked by them."

So they were already here...  
"Where is Christen? Why isn't she with you?" Tobin inquired sharply. 

Henry squirmed under her stare. "We split up. I went to get Mal and-"

Fear flooded Tobin's heart. Christen wasn't with him. She was alone in this castle, just like she had been in Tobin's nightmare. 

To everyone's surprise, she suddenly grabbed the prince roughly by the collar of his shirt.   
"You left her alone?!" the guard's shout echoed through the dimly lit hallways.

Henry struggled to break the hold. The guards around them drew their weapons at the same time the Re members did. Letting go of the prince, Tobin's hands shook. 

"I'm sorry, Tobs! She wanted me to go and make sure Mal is safe!" Henry argued, rubbing his aching neck. 

"You should've stayed with her, Henry," she whispered quietly, not trusting her voice anymore. 

"I- I know," the prince admitted. "But I couldn't. I had to make sure Mal was-"  
An arrow zipped only a few inches past him, hitting one of the guards straight into the chest. The man grunted in surprise, tumbled backwards against the wall and slid down to the ground slowly. He was dead. 

Another arrow shot through the air, this time coming from the other side of the corridor.

"Take cover!" Tobin yelled to her friends as she hastily extinguished the torch on the wall. Blinking rapidly, she forced her eyes to get used to the sudden darkness and tiptoed towards one end of the corridor.

She found what she was looking for. A dark silhouette lurked to her left. He was aiming again, this time just going to shoot at them blindly but Tobin was quicker. She slide tackled him to the ground and knocked him out. The guard took bow and arrows with her, just in case.

Glancing through the dark, Tobin searched for more attackers but there weren't any. It seemed like they had split into smaller groups as they infiltrated the castle, just like them. 

That also meant that the chance of Christen meeting one of the separatists increased. The guard sprinted back towards the others. 

"Anyone hurt?"   
Taking the lack of response as a no, Tobin focused on Henry again.   
"Did Christen tell you where she would go?!" she asked urgently.

"No, but I would assume she'd go to make sure her lady's maid was okay?" Henry shrugged, tugging Mal softly closer to shield her with his body. If the situation hadn't been so serious, Tobin would've smiled at the sight.

"Tobin?! What's going on? I thought you've left the castle for good?!" one of the guards raised his voice. He'd put down his sword but his tone was careful.

Tobin's head snapped around, trying to make out Henry's face in the darkness. "That's what you've told everyone? That I left the castle willingly?"

The prince sighed. "Yes, I did. I told them to inform me should you ever try to come back, though." 

_He didn't tell anyone. He didn't effectively ban me from the castle._ A wave of gratefulness washed over her. Henry still cared about her.

The remaining three guards looked from Henry to Tobin, not understanding what was happening.

She didn't have time for this!  
"Crystal, can you please explain the situation? I'm gonna go upstairs. I need to find Christen."

Not waiting for an answer, Tobin rushed down the corridor and into the stairwell, taking two steps at once.

A large man emerged through a door to her right, catching one of her legs and dragged her down. 

Tobin gasped in pain as her rips collided with the stair's stone steps, landing mostly onto her right side. 

"Where are you goin' darling?" the man sneered, holding her right leg in a tight grip. 

"Fuck you!" Tobin rolled onto her back, her hands grabbed the edge of the stone step for some leverage as she forced herself forward, using her free leg to kick him forcefully. The heel of her boot collided hard with his nose. He let go of Tobin's leg immediately as the crunching sound of his nasal bones being broken filled the air.

This would keep him occupied for a while. Gently, Tobin's hands examined her bruised rips through her uniform. They were sore but didn't seem broken. Without looking back at the man, she ran up the stairs and towards the hallway Christen and Ali had their rooms. 

A fight was already in full swing. The lady's maid and her love were up against three men. Ashlyn only narrowly able to dodge the attacker's axe strike. 

Tobin quickly grabbed the bow and aimed for the largest man. Time to even out the numbers.   
Calming her breathing, Tobin took the shot and the man collapsed to the ground.

"Mind if I cut in?" Tobin asked loudly, getting the men's attention as she drew her sword.

Ash used the distraction to get rid of the second man. Three against one. Now, that was better. 

The man let go of the sword, raising his hands up in the air and walked several steps backwards. In the flickering light of the torch Tobin could see how young he was. He couldn't be older than sixteen, probably younger. He was just a boy.

"Please don't kill me! I'm sorry!" He begged as Tobin walked towards him, her sword at the ready. 

"I don't want to hurt anyone! Please! My father forced me to come here... I don't want to fight you."

Tobin wanted to believe him but just letting him go wasn't safe. 

Ali and Ash exchanged a look the guard couldn't identify. She shook her head. "I'm sorry, but you shouldn't have come here, kid." 

"No, please," tears threatened to fall and it took everything in Tobin not to lower her sword. 

"Tobin, stop!" Ali exclaimed suddenly. "He- he didn't really try to hurt me. If he actually tried, I wouldn't be talking to you right now. I'm not used to combat like you and Ash are. He could've easily won the fight."

Ashlyn looked from the boy back to her love and nodded. "She's right."

"What's your name, kid?" Tobin asked quietly, putting her sword back into her sheath. 

"K-Kyle," he stammered, taking a deep breath. He leaned back against the wall, as if his knees would give out at any moment. 

Guilt hit Tobin as she saw him trying to hold it together. She obviously wouldn't have killed him but definitely would've made sure he couldn't hurt anyone else.

This boy reminded her of herself in the first months as a guard. The men who trained her didn't go easy on her for a second, so she ended up hurt and bruised after trainings or humiliated when she wasn't able to complete the tasks, trying to will the tears away. 

"How old are you, Kyle?" Tobin moved closer, putting a hand on his shoulder to calm him. 

"Thirteen." 

"I'm not gonna hurt you, okay? But you have to stay out of trouble. My friends Ash and Ali will look after you and get you out of the castle."   
She nodded towards the other women who agreed immediately.

"Good to see you again, Tobs," Ash offered with a small smile. "Didn't think we would."

"Me neither," the guard replied and looked around helplessly. "I need to find Christen. Have you seen her?"

"Henry wanted to see her about an hour ago. She- she didn't return," the lady's maid answered sadly.

"I've found Henry, but she wasn't with him," Tobin croaked out, swallowing the lump in her throat. 

Kyle, who still leaned against the wall, piped up. "That Christen you're looking for? Beautiful, dark skinned woman? She was on the way up here to you," he told Ali. "Once she realized that we found her, she ran downstairs again," he pointed down the hallway. "My group split up and some of us chased after her. I- I think she wanted to lead them away from you."

Now it felt like it were Tobin's knees that would give out. 

"How many, Kyle?"

The boy bit his lip, sensing that his answer would cause them pain. 

"Five of us." 

The hope of finding Christen alive vanished and a strange cold seemed to engulf Tobin. Spreading through her body, it came with a sense of calmness.

"Ash, Ali? Get him out of the castle. I'm gonna go find her... and bring her h-" the word 'home' almost left her lips.

"You shouldn't go alone Tobin it's-"

"No, I'm gonna do it alone. Go, live your live your lives and be happy. No matter what happens, okay? God knows, you deserve it."

Ali sniffled. "Don't you dare die tonight, Heath! Just bring my best friend back safe and sound and be careful!"

Tobin gave her a quick hug and told them about tunnel that could get them out of the castle.   
"The members of Re will help you and Kyle. Tell them you're my friends. Take care."

"This sounds like it's a goodbye forever. Christen is tough, Tobin! Believe in her," Ali whispered as a tear ran down her cheek. 

Nodding curtly, the guard waved them goodbye and jogged down the corridor. She was certain that Christen would try to lead them away from everyone she cared about, away from Ali, Ash and Mal, in the opposite direction. That thought in mind, Tobin took the stairwell a few floors down and ran to where her quarters used to be. 

"ARGH!" Christen's pained scream suddenly reached Tobin's ears. _No! Please, no!_

"CHRIS!" the guard screamed from the top of her lungs and dashed into her direction. In her haste to get to the princess, Tobin didn't watch out for her surroundings, not seeing the person waiting for her just around the corner.

The halberd hit her hip heavily as she wasn't able to move out of the way, sending her tumbling to the floor.

The man kicked against her head. Her vision blurred as she raised her arms to protect herself against another kick. 

"Ch-Chris."   
Blood seeped out of the wound on her hip, drenching her clothes. Another kick, this time to her rips. 

Tobin cried out in pain. This couldn't be it. She had to fight, needed to find her princess...  
Closing her eyes, as another kick hit her shoulder, Tobin saw Christen's blinding smile in front of her. The way the younger woman's eyes lit up whenever she was happy. The cute crinkle that appeared between her brows when she frowned. 

With the last remaining strength, Tobin tried to get up on her knees but a strike to her head knocked her back down again. 

_Please be okay, Christen._  
With that last thought, everything around her went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for letting it end here with another cliffhanger. I promise it will be the last one for this story ;-) 
> 
> I'm already halfway through the next chapter so the wait won't be too long this time.
> 
> Please stay safe and don't forget to wear your masks.  
> See you soon!


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back :D
> 
> Let's take a look at what has happened to Christen in the castle ;-)
> 
> Again there is **violence** and **death** in this chapter so please read with caution!
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter! Stay safe :)

Christen's POV

Henry opened the door and poked his head out. "Still no one in the corridor," he said and waved Christen to follow him outside.

A muffled scream reached their ears as they walked through the corridor and turned left.

"That doesn't sound good at all."  
Henry looked at Christen nervously. 

He tried to hide it but she could see right through him. The prince was scared. He'd never been out of the castle or had to fear for his life before. This, whatever was going on right now, catapulted him straight into reality. A reality that Christen had gotten used to over the last months. 

They walked through the dimly lit hallways side by side, watching their surroundings carefully.

As they rounded the next corner, they spotted a guard on the floor.   
"Damn it!" Henry swore as they ran towards him.

Softly, Henry turned him onto his back and knelt down next to him. His face was pale and his breathing shallow. "Your highnesses," he ground out, his voice weak. "You need to leave this place! They'll try to kill you both."

"Shh save your strength, Ben," Henry said as he took in the damage. He had multiple stab wounds all over his torso and Christen didn't have to be an expert to know that they were talking to a dead man. 

The guard gripped Henry's arm tightly before his eyes rolled in the back of his head and his hand went slack.

Swallowing hard, Henry tore his gaze away from the body and got up. His eyes were steely but Christen could see the tears that threatened to fall. She wanted to reach out and comfort him but didn't want to upset him any further. 

"We should go," Christen stated. "He gave his life to protect us... we can't let his sacrifice be in vain, Henry."

The prince nodded stiffly and plodded after her. As they rounded the next corner he stopped abruptly.

Henry eyed the corridor to his right. "Mal." 

Seeing the conflict in his eyes, Christen made a decision.   
"Go," she said firmly, not wanting him to make the same mistakes she had, when she let Tobin go.

The prince's eyes snapped up. "Christen I-"

"Do you love her?" the princess asked quietly, not wanting to hear his ramble right now.

"I do, but I can't just-"

Shaking her head, Christen smiled softly. "Go, Henry! Protect my cousin! I'll be okay."

Henry bit his lip, looking back and forth between Christen to where Mal's room was and nodded. He gave her shoulder a light squeeze.

"Good luck, Christen. It was an honor to meet you. I hope we'll make it out alive... and- and for you to get back to Tobin."

A lump formed in her throat but Christen forced herself to be strong. "Likewise, Henry. Be careful!"

The prince drew his sword and disappeared into the darkness. She trusted Henry to keep Mal safe but Ali and Ashlyn had no idea what was going on. If Christen's room had been their first target...  
She shook her head, not wanting to think about this. 

The castle was quiet and it worried her, that whoever was responsible for this attack was able to do it without drawing attention to them.   
As Christen slipped into the stairwell, she could hear people whispering and the sound of heavy footsteps. 

Taking two steps at a time, Christen rushed up the stairs until she could see them.   
8 men, dressed in the uniforms she'd seen in Sterling town on the way to Portland, heavily armed, walked up the stairs... probably to find her room.

The princess racked her brain to find a way to get rid of them but couldn't think of anything. They were only two flights of stairs away from where Ali and Ash probably spend a nice evening together. The princess couldn't handle the thought.

"Hey!" She shouted so loudly, that it echoed in the stairwell. 

The men turned around, some looking at her in disbelief, others with a grin. "Get her!" one of them yelled as they ran down the stairs towards Christen. 

Zooming down the stairs, Christen thought frantically. She wasn't Tobin, trying to fight them would only get her killed. As she ran past one of the huge metal armors an idea came to her mind. Portland's castle had several of those armors in their stairwells. 

In her haste to get out of view for a few seconds she practically jumped down the last 6 steps of the stairwell and down the next. _There!_ Christen squeezed herself in the niche behind the amor and prayed they wouldn't be able to spot her.   
Heavy feet came down the stairs and... ran past her. One by one, the men rushed down the stairs, not taking notice of Christen hiding behind the armor. 

As another, even heavier pair of feet ran past her, Christen let go of her sword and used all her strength to push the armor down the stairs. The loud rattle startled the men, who spun around and watched in horror as the heavy metal tumbled down the stairs, gaining speed. 

One of the men leaped out of the way but the rest was dragged down the stairs by the armor. The impact was hard and the noise made Christen flinch. She didn't wait around to see how many of them would get up though. 

Taking the corridor that led to the guards' quarters, Christen prayed most of them wouldn't be able to follow her. 

As she jogged past the door that used to be Tobin's quarters she opened it and peeked inside. Looking around the tiny room with the worn out rug, a strange sense of comfort washed over her. It was almost as if this room held some part of Tobin within its walls. Once this was over, she'd leave the castle for good and find Tobin and never let her leave again. 

Christen opened the drawer that used to contain Tobin's training gear and sighed in relief as she found one of the guard's swords. It felt familiar in Christen's hand. Nodding to herself, the princess left the room and went further along the corridor to see if there were any guards around to help her but there weren't any. She was on her own. 

Footsteps moved closer. Her grip around the sword tightened as she could see a man approach. _One man_ \- the rest of the group wasn't with him. It was time. Time for Christen to own her power and fight for her life. The thought of a future with Tobin always in the back of her mind, she waited, sword at the ready.

The man carried a zweihänder-sword across his shoulders.

"Nice trick there in the stairwell, princess," he complimented with a nasty smile. 

"Too bad it didn't hit you as well," Christen retorted. 

The smile slid off his face as he grabbed his long sword with both hands and moved closer with determination. Christen was able to dodge his first strike easily but as she parried the second one, the force of the heavy sword send her own flying out of reach.   
_Fuck!_  
For a moment she stood frozen in shock of having lost her only option to defend herself but another attack had her leap out of the way. 

His cold laugh rang in her ears as she thought back to all the lessons Tobin had given her. As the man raised the sword high above his head, Christen felt like she was seeing it in slow motion. Instead of trying to move out of the way again, the princess sprinted towards him, going in for a slide. Her dress got ripped open at the legs and pushed up to her waist, slightly retarding her slide but she'd been fast enough. Taking her chance, Christen hit him hard in the crotch. 

The man groaned in pain and fell to his knees, letting go of the sword to cover his crotch with both hands. 

They were at eye level as the princess rose her fist and- 

"Argh!" Christen yelped loudly as her fist connected with the man's jaw, sending him tumbling to the ground.

"Damn it!" She shook out her hand and rubbed her aching knuckles softly. Punching someone in the face hurt more than she had thought. There was no time to dwell on it, though. 

"CHRIS!" The shout didn't come from afar. She knew that voice. 

"Tobin," the princess murmured in wonder. Her guard was here, in the castle. The princess quickly picked the sword up from the ground. 

Faster than she'd ever run before, Christen hurried into the direction of the scream. 

She rounded the corner and saw how a bulky man raised the halberd in his hand. Below him, on the cold stone floor, laid an unconscious woman.

"Tobin!" 

Before he could turn around, Christen kicked him into the back of his knees. Grunting in surprise he fell down, halberd slipping through his fingers.   
Drawing her sword, Christen stabbed him, the only thought on her mind the bleeding woman in front of her.

"Toby!" Sinking to her knees, the princess softly brushed Tobin's hair out of her face.

"Wake up, please! Please, come back to me!" A sob escaped her throat as she took in Tobin's damaged body. Blood oozed out of a deep cut just an inch above her hip bone. This situation brought back the awful memories of Tobin's injury in the Blackheart forest. 

This time Christen knew what to do. She grabbed Tobin's leather bag and sighed in relief as she found the same ointment and some bandages in it. Within three minutes, she'd mostly stopped the bleeding and wrapped the bandages tightly around Tobin's body. 

"C'mon Toby! Please, wake up! We can't stay here. It's too dangerous!" Christen pleaded, softly caressing Tobin's cheek. 

"Good evening, princess Christen." The oily voice sent a shiver down her spine. Quickly, she pulled Tobin's sword out of its sheath and stood in front of the wounded woman. 

"Oh, you're a fighter, huh?" The man chuckled coldly. "I'm gonna show you your place!"

He licked his lips and drew his sword. Christen's hand around the hilt was sweaty. She would not allow anyone to hurt Tobin anymore. 

Taking a calming breath, Christen shifted her body into the stance, Tobin had taught her weeks ago. The guy in front of her had a nervous energy, shifting from one leg to another as he came closer. 

Christen eyed her opponent's movements, trying to get a feeling of what he might do, how he would attack. A slight change in his demeanor, a twitch with his right arm. 

His sword collided with Christen's as the princess parried his stroke. Surprise flickered over his face and Christen suddenly realized that this was just like the training sessions she'd had with Tobin. The guard had said the truth when she told Christen that she wasn't holding back. She _could_ fight and win. This man's powerful but rather slow strokes wouldn't be able to hurt her. 

He raised his arm into the air, trying to get her this time but Christen blocked his cut easily. The man's face turned into an angry grimace.   
_He's losing his patience._ Christen knew that this was her best chance. 

Taking a few steps closer to Christen, who was still shielding Tobin's body from him, he thrust his sword forward, trying to stab her. In a flash Christen parried again and disarmed the large man with one swift movement. His sword flew across the corridor and landed clattering on the floor, several feet away from him.

Sword at the ready, Christen stared at him determinedly. Something like fear flickered in his eyes for a second but after a moment he grinned.

"You won't kill me," he said, taking several steps backwards. "You don't have it in you." 

Christen willed herself to step forward, to take the final hit but she couldn't. She had already killed one man tonight but that was to save Tobin. He was right, she didn't have it in her. Now that he wasn't armed anymore, she couldn't just kill him. 

A fist connected with his head, knocking him out immediately. "Thought you could use a hand," a tall and very muscular looking blonde woman with short hair offered.

Relief washed over Christen as she let go of the sword.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome m'lady. I would assume that you're princess Christen?" the woman asked with a grin. Christen nodded but turned her attention back to Tobin, who still wasn't moving. The stranger's grin disappeared as she took in Tobin's state. 

Kneeling beside Christen, she pulled a leather bottle out of her bag and poured water all over Tobin's face. 

The guard spluttered and finally, _finally_ opened her eyes again.  
Coughing, she tried to sat up but both, Christen and this blonde stranger, pressed softly against her shoulders for her to stay on the ground.

"Ch-Chris," Tobin croaked out softly, her hand finding Christen's, as their eyes met again after being apart for so long. Those deep, warm brown eyes stared at her in wonder. "I-I thought they had killed you," the guard said slowly, tears glistening in her eyes as her hold on Christen's hand tightened.

The princess sniffled. "Killed _me_? God, Tobin! When I found you bleeding on the floor, I thought I-" she didn't finish the sentence, overwhelmed by the events of the night. 

The guard smiled proudly. "So you saved my life. Should've known it was you. Always knew you'd be exceptional, Chris."

Christen blushed and ran her free hand through Tobin's wild hair. "I love you so much, Toby."

"I love you too."   
She wanted nothing more than to lean down and kiss Tobin, to feel the guard's plush lips moving against hers but- 

"Well, I hate to ruin this indeed very sweet moment, but we should get out of here," the blonde woman reminded them in an amused voice.

Tobin's head snapped around to look at the woman, having completely forgotten about her presence.

"Right. Sorry Abby," she smiled sheepishly at the older woman, who just grinned back.

"Nice to see you smiling again, Heath," Abby offered and helped Christen to get Tobin back onto her feet.

"Can you walk?" the princess asked as Tobin clung to Christen's shoulder. She took a few experimental steps and nodded grimly. "It hurts. But it's okay. Could you hand me my sword?"

Christen picked the sword up from the ground and handed it to the guard.

"We need to go upstairs, help Ash and Ali!" the princess exclaimed suddenly as she remembered why she was in this part of the castle in the first place.

"They're safe and already outside the castle," Tobin explained quickly, soothing Christen's worries. 

Sighing in relief, the dark haired woman closed her eyes. "Thank god." 

Tobin's hand found hers again and gave her a light squeeze.   
"I didn't think I would ever see you again," Christen whispered, eyes flickering back to Tobin every few seconds like she couldn't believe her love was walking right next to her. 

Sensing that Christen had way more to say about this, Tobin shook her head. "We can talk about this later, Chris. Please, just focus on getting out here alive."

The princess nodded and then turned to Abby. "I'm sorry, I didn't even thank you for your help back there." She pointed behind her shoulder.

Abby laughed. "It's okay, your highness."

She winced as the woman used her title. "Just- just call me Christen, please."

"Christen it is. Now Heath, I would suggest you and your woman leave the castle. I'm gonna find the others and end the fight."

Both women shook their heads simultaneously. Abby raised her brow in amusement. 

"We want to be here," Christen answered for them both. Tobin squeezed her hand and added: "We can't let you fight this alone."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! :)
> 
> Come talk to me on tumblr: greengoofmon


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